Season 2 · Tập 15

Kids, never underestimate the power of destiny.

/kɪdz/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /ˈpaʊər/

Because when you least expect it, the littlest thing

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /wɛn/ /juː/ /liːst/ /ɪkˈspɛkt/ /ɪt/ /θɪŋ/

can cause a ripple effect that changes your life.

/kæn/ /kɔːz/ /ðæt/ /jʊr/ /laɪf/

Take for instance my trip to Chicago.

/teɪk/ /fɔːr/ /maɪ/ /trɪp/

That security guard was a little bit handsy.

/ðæt/ /sɪˈkjʊərɪti/ /wɒz/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

That's funny. She barely touched me.

/ˈfʌn.i/ /ʃiː/ /miː/

Uh, Gate 23. Come on.

/ɡeɪt/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/

If we miss this flight, I will never forgive myself.

/ɪf/ /wiː/ /mɪs/ /flaɪt/ /wɪl/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /fərˈɡɪv/ /maɪˈsɛlf/

Why was this flight so important?

/waɪ/ /wɒz/ /flaɪt/ /ɪmˈpɔːr.tənt/

Let's back up a few months to the fall of 2006.

/bæk/ /ʌp/ /fjuː/ /fɔːl/

I had just sold my first building design and become

/hæd/ /dʒʌst/ /soʊld/ /maɪ/ /fɜːrst/ /ˈbɪldɪŋ/ /dɪˈzaɪn/ /ænd/ /bɪˈkʌm/

the youngest project manager in my firm's history.

/ˈprɒdʒɛkt/ /ˈmænɪdʒər/ /maɪ/ /ˈhɪstəri/

Suddenly I was being headhunted.

/ˈsʌd.ən.li/ /wɒz/

One firm was even considering me to run their entire New York office.

/wɒz/ /ˈiːvən/ /miː/ /rʌn/ /ðɛr/ /ɪnˈtaɪər/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/ /ˈɒfɪs/

They were flying me in for a final interview at their corporate headquarters in Chicago.

/ðeɪ/ /wɜːr/ /miː/ /fɔːr/ /ˈfaɪnəl/ /ˈɪntəvjuː/ /ðɛr/

It was the opportunity of a lifetime.

/ɪt/ /wɒz/ /ˌɒpərˈtjuːnɪti/

It was my destiny. There was just one problem.

/ɪt/ /wɒz/ /maɪ/ /ðɛr/ /wɒz/ /dʒʌst/ /ˈprɒbləm/

Hi, wait, two more.

/weɪt/ /tuː/ /mɔːr/

Sorry, you're too late, I already shut the doors.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /leɪt/ /ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /ʃʌt/

Well, I'm sure if we pull real hard we can open them.

/wɛl/ /ʃʊr/ /ɪf/ /wiː/ /pʊl/ /riːl/ /hɑːrd/ /wiː/ /kæn/ /ˈoʊ.pən/ /ðɛm/

Hmm, I wish it worked like that, but see, once I close those doors, that's it.

/wɪʃ/ /ɪt/ /wɜːrkt/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/ /bʌt/ /siː/ /wʌns/ /kloʊs/ /ðoʊz/ /ɪt/

Nobody else is allowed down that jet-way.

/ˈnoʊ.bɒd.i/ /ɛls/ /ɪz/ /daʊn/ /ðæt/

Except for that guy.

/ɪkˈsɛpt/ /fɔːr/ /ðæt/ /ɡaɪ/

Please, if-if I miss this flight, I'll miss the chance to interview for my dream job.

/pliːz/ /mɪs/ /flaɪt/ /mɪs/ /tʃæns/ /ˈɪntəvjuː/ /fɔːr/ /maɪ/ /driːm/ /dʒɒb/

I'm sorry, sir.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /sɜːr/

His dream job! Didn't you ever have a dream job?

/hɪz/ /driːm/ /dʒɒb/ /juː/ /ˈɛv.ər/ /hæv/ /driːm/ /dʒɒb/

Something from when you were a little girl, that was all you wanted to do?

/ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /wɛn/ /juː/ /wɜːr/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /ɡɜːrl/ /ðæt/ /wɒz/ /ɔːl/ /juː/ /duː/

I mean, for God's sakes, I'm sure you didn't go to bed at night dreaming about being a...

/miːn/ /fɔːr/ /ʃʊr/ /juː/ /ɡoʊ/ /bɛd/ /naɪt/ /əˈbaʊt/

I mean, uh...

/miːn/

This is a cool job.

/ɪz/ /kuːl/ /dʒɒb/

Please, I have to be on this flight.

/pliːz/ /hæv/ /biː/ /ɒn/ /flaɪt/

I'll see what I can do. But it doesn't look good.

/siː/ /wɒt/ /kæn/ /duː/ /bʌt/ /ɪt/ /lʊk/ /ɡʊd/

Thanks.

Your uniforms are pretty.

/jʊr/ /ˈprɪti/

Okay.

They haven't armed the doors yet, so you still have a chance.

/ðeɪ/ /jɛt/ /juː/ /hæv/ /tʃæns/

It's up to the captain now and they're calling us back.

/ʌp/ /ˈkæptɪn/ /naʊ/ /ænd/ /ˈkɔːlɪŋ/ /ʌs/ /bæk/

Great, please let us know soon as you hear anything.

/ɡreɪt/ /pliːz/ /lɛt/ /ʌs/ /noʊ/ /suːn/ /juː/ /hɪr/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/

Sure, and for the future, we recommend you arrive

/ʃʊr/ /ænd/ /fɔːr/ /ˈfjuː.tʃər/ /wiː/ /juː/ /əˈraɪv/

at the airport an hour and a half before your flight,

/ˈɛərpɔːrt/ /ˈaʊ.ər/ /ænd/ /hæf/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /jʊr/ /flaɪt/

not, you know, one minute after.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ˈmɪn.ɪt/ /ˈæf.tər/

Normally, I'm incredibly responsible.

/ˈnɔːrməli/ /rɪˈspɒnsɪbl/

I just had to go to court this morning and get sentenced.

/dʒʌst/ /hæd/ /ɡoʊ/ /kɔːt/ /ˈmɔːr.nɪŋ/ /ænd/ /ɡɛt/

Not that I'm a criminal or anything.

/ðæt/ /ˈkrɪmɪnəl/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/

Yeah, he just jumped a subway turnstile.

/hiː/ /dʒʌst/ /ˈsʌbweɪ/

You seem to have a lot of problems with the rules of travel.

/juː/ /siːm/ /hæv/ /lɒt/ /wɪð/ /ˈtrævəl/

Hello?

Oh, that is great news.

/ðæt/ /ɪz/ /ɡreɪt/ /njuːz/

It's my mom-- she found her missing earring.

/maɪ/ /mɒm/ /ʃiː/ /hɜːr/

Have a seat. I'll call you when I hear something.

/hæv/ /siːt/ /kɔːl/ /juː/ /wɛn/ /hɪr/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/

Where was it?

/wɛr/ /wɒz/ /ɪt/

That thing better have call waiting.

/ðæt/ /θɪŋ/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /hæv/ /kɔːl/

Could you just call the firm and explain what happened?

/kʊd/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /kɔːl/ /ænd/ /ɪkˈspleɪn/ /wɒt/ /ˈhæpənd/

It's down to three people and I know they need to make their decision today.

/daʊn/ /θriː/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /ænd/ /noʊ/ /ðeɪ/ /niːd/ /meɪk/ /ðɛr/ /dɪˈsɪʒ.ən/ /təˈdeɪ/

I sort of feel my not showing up might put me at a disadvantage.

/sɔːrt/ /fiːl/ /maɪ/ /ʌp/ /maɪt/ /pʊt/ /miː/

I'm so stupid.

/ˈstjuːpɪd/

Why did I have to jump that turnstile?

/waɪ/ /dɪd/ /hæv/ /dʒʌmp/ /ðæt/

Hey, don't be so hard on yourself.

/biː/ /hɑːrd/ /ɒn/ /jɔːrˈsɛlf/

And isn't this whole thing really Barney's fault?

/ænd/ /hoʊl/ /θɪŋ/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /fɔːlt/

She had a point. It was kind of Barney's fault.

/ʃiː/ /hæd/ /pɔɪnt/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/ /kaɪnd/ /fɔːlt/

Let's back up a few months.

/bæk/ /ʌp/ /fjuː/

Oh, Marshall, how's the broken toe?

Oh, man, it kills. You want some aspirin, baby?

/mæn/ /ɪt/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /sʌm/ /ˈbeɪbi/

You know I don't believe in pain killers.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /bɪˈliːv/ /peɪn/

Wow, your first broken bone.

/jʊr/ /fɜːrst/

Kind of kills your whole "Unbreakable" theory.

/kaɪnd/ /jʊr/ /hoʊl/ /ˈθɪəri/

Marshall used to think he was indestructible.

/θɪŋk/ /hiː/ /wɒz/

Well, it added up. I've never broken anything.

/wɛl/ /ɪt/ /ʌp/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/

I've never been sick, and when I need to,

/ˈnɛv.ər/ /sɪk/ /ænd/ /wɛn/ /niːd/

I can summon incredible strength.

/kæn/

Ted, tell her the story of the really heavy door.

/tɛl/ /hɜːr/ /ˈstɔːri/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈhɛvi/ /dɔːr/

There was a really heavy door. He opened it.

/ðɛr/ /wɒz/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈhɛvi/ /dɔːr/ /hiː/ /ɪt/

On one pull.

/ɒn/ /pʊl/

Well, you must be really bummed, you're not gonna be able to run tomorrow.

/wɛl/ /juː/ /mʌst/ /biː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /biː/ /ˈeɪ.bəl/ /rʌn/ /təˈmɒr.oʊ/

Yeah. It sucks,

/ɪt/

all that work I put in training for the marathon was a total waste.

/ɔːl/ /ðæt/ /wɜːrk/ /pʊt/ /ˈtreɪnɪŋ/ /fɔːr/ /ˈmærəθɒn/ /wɒz/ /weɪst/

Training for a marathon.

/ˈtreɪnɪŋ/ /fɔːr/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

What?

/wɒt/

You don't need to train for a marathon. You just run it.

/juː/ /niːd/ /treɪn/ /fɔːr/ /ˈmærəθɒn/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /rʌn/ /ɪt/

You're kidding, right?

/ˈkɪdɪŋ/ /raɪt/

Not at all. I could run a marathon anytime I wanted to.

/ɔːl/ /kʊd/ /rʌn/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

So like tomorrow, you think you could wake up, roll out of bed,

/laɪk/ /təˈmɒr.oʊ/ /juː/ /θɪŋk/ /juː/ /kʊd/ /weɪk/ /ʌp/ /roʊl/ /aʊt/ /bɛd/

and just run the New York City Marathon? Absolutely.

/ænd/ /dʒʌst/ /rʌn/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /ˈmærəθɒn/ /ˈæbsəluːtli/

Barney, we're talking about 42 kilometers.

/əˈbaʊt/

Thanks, Canada. I'll take it from here.

/ˈkænədə/ /teɪk/ /ɪt/ /hɪr/

Barney, it's like 26 miles.

/laɪk/ /maɪlz/

Here's how you run a marathon.

/haʊ/ /juː/ /rʌn/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

Step one, you start running.

/stɛp/ /juː/ /stɑːrt/ /ˈrʌnɪŋ/

There is no step two.

/ðɛr/ /ɪz/ /noʊ/ /stɛp/ /tuː/

Okay, you know what? Prove it.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /pruːv/ /ɪt/

Take my number and run in my place.

/teɪk/ /maɪ/ /ˈnʌmbər/ /ænd/ /rʌn/ /maɪ/ /pleɪs/

I will bet you 50 bucks you don't even finish the race.

/wɪl/ /bɛt/ /juː/ /juː/ /ˈiːvən/ /ˈfɪn.ɪʃ/ /reɪs/

50 bucks?

Gee, Grandpa, if I win, maybe I can buy myself an ice-cream cone.

/ɪf/ /wɪn/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /kæn/ /baɪ/ /maɪˈsɛlf/

Make it $10,000.

/meɪk/ /ɪt/

You have a gambling problem. You'll bet me 50.

/juː/ /hæv/ /ˈprɒbləm/ /bɛt/ /miː/

Fine, then no bet. Okay, $50.

/faɪn/ /ðɛn/ /noʊ/ /bɛt/

The next morning, as the marathon began,

/nɛkst/ /ˈmɔːr.nɪŋ/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

we were focused on Marshall's computer.

/wiː/ /wɜːr/ /ɒn/

Each runner gets a tracking chip so you can follow them online,

/iːtʃ/ /ɡɛts/ /juː/ /kæn/ /ˈfɒl.oʊ/ /ðɛm/ /ˈɒnlaɪn/

see when they pass certain checkpoints. Barney's got mine in his shoe.

/siː/ /wɛn/ /ðeɪ/ /pæs/ /maɪn/ /hɪz/

Ooh, he's starting! This ought to be good.

/biː/ /ɡʊd/

He's already passing the second checkpoint.

/ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /ˈsɛk.ənd/

This tracking thing is amazing.

/θɪŋ/ /ɪz/ /əˈmeɪzɪŋ/

When we get married, you're getting one of these.

/wɛn/ /wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ðiːz/

Wow. Look at his time. It's pretty impressive.

/lʊk/ /hɪz/ /taɪm/ /ˈprɪti/

He's gotta be cheating, okay. He knew we'd check.

/biː/ /ˈtʃiːtɪŋ/ /hiː/ /njuː/ /tʃɛk/

Yeah, he'll do anything to win a bet.

/duː/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/ /wɪn/ /bɛt/

Remember that time he bet me that Men at Work sang "Hungry Like the Wolf,"

/rɪˈmɛm.bər/ /ðæt/ /taɪm/ /hiː/ /bɛt/ /miː/ /ðæt/ /mɛn/ /wɜːrk/ /ˈhʌŋɡri/ /laɪk/

and when he found out that they didn't, he tried to hire them to?

/ænd/ /wɛn/ /hiː/ /aʊt/ /ðæt/ /ðeɪ/ /hiː/ /haɪər/ /ðɛm/

Well, it looks like, "Barney" should be coming over the Queensboro Bridge

/wɛl/ /ɪt/ /laɪk/ /ʃʊd/ /biː/ /ˈoʊ.vər/

and up First Avenue within the next hour or so. But...

/ænd/ /ʌp/ /fɜːrst/ /nɛkst/ /ˈaʊ.ər/ /bʌt/

there is no way that that's really him.

/ðɛr/ /ɪz/ /noʊ/ /weɪ/ /ðæt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /hɪm/

It's really him.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /hɪm/

Hey! That's mine.

/maɪn/

Yeah, you'd better run!

/ˈbɛt.ər/ /rʌn/

- What up, non-finishers? - Wow.

/wɒt/ /ʌp/

- Very impressive, Barney. - Right?

/ˈvɛr.i/ /raɪt/

Yeah, my time would have been like a half an hour better,

/maɪ/ /taɪm/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /laɪk/ /hæf/ /ˈaʊ.ər/ /ˈbɛt.ər/

but I met this total hottie on Mile Seven. We took a quick detour

/bʌt/ /ɒn/ /ˈsɛvən/ /wiː/ /tʊk/ /kwɪk/

and had our own mini marathon behind a Nathan's.

/ænd/ /hæd/ /aʊər/ /oʊn/ /ˈmærəθɒn/ /bɪˈhaɪnd/

I won.

/wʌn/

I'm not sure anyone in that story is a winner.

/ʃʊr/ /ˈɛniwʌn/ /ðæt/ /ˈstɔːri/ /ɪz/

So where's my 50 bucks?

/maɪ/

All right.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/

I got to admit, you earned this.

/ədˈmɪt/ /juː/

Huh? Can't believe they haven't made a coin for this yet.

/bɪˈliːv/ /ðeɪ/ /fɔːr/ /jɛt/

Anyway, I'm heading home. Might go hit the gym.

/ˈɛniweɪ/ /hoʊm/ /maɪt/ /ɡoʊ/ /dʒɪm/

Oh, hey, just so you know, uh, all marathon runners get to use the subway for free today.

/dʒʌst/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /ɔːl/ /ˈmærəθɒn/ /ɡɛt/ /juːz/ /ˈsʌbweɪ/ /fɔːr/ /friː/ /təˈdeɪ/

Wow. You know I really should check out this "subway."

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ʃʊd/ /tʃɛk/ /aʊt/ /ˈsʌbweɪ/

Heard so much about it. Wow. Look at me. Slumming it.

/hɜːrd/ /mʌtʃ/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ɪt/ /lʊk/ /miː/ /ɪt/

Maybe I'll make a weekend out of it

/ˈmeɪbi/ /meɪk/ /ˈwiːkɛnd/ /aʊt/ /ɪt/

and I'll call my bridge and tunnel girl tonight.

/ænd/ /kɔːl/ /maɪ/ /ænd/ /ɡɜːrl/ /təˈnaɪt/

You're dating a girl from New Jersey?

/ˈdeɪtɪŋ/ /ɡɜːrl/ /njuː/ /ˈdʒɜːrzi/

No.

/noʊ/

So Barney did it. He actually finished the marathon.

/dɪd/ /ɪt/ /hiː/ /ˈæktʃuəli/ /ˈfɪnɪʃt/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

But a little while later... I got an interesting phone call.

/bʌt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /waɪl/ /ˈleɪtər/ /ˈɪn.trɪ.stɪŋ/ /foʊn/ /kɔːl/

- Hello? - Ted, it's Barney.

Listen to me, I need you to come and pick me up on the subway.

/ˈlɪs.ən/ /miː/ /niːd/ /juː/ /kʌm/ /ænd/ /pɪk/ /miː/ /ʌp/ /ɒn/ /ˈsʌbweɪ/

What, what are you talking about?

/wɒt/ /wɒt/ /juː/ /əˈbaʊt/

I was sitting here, totally minding my own business.

/wɒz/ /hɪr/ /ˈtoʊtəli/ /maɪ/ /oʊn/ /ˈbɪznɪs/

Finisher.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /miːn/

86th street.

/striːt/

My legs don't work.

/maɪ/ /lɛɡz/ /wɜːrk/

I've already ridden the subway twice end to end.

/ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /ˈsʌbweɪ/ /ɛnd/ /ɛnd/

I've seen where it turns around.

/wɛr/ /ɪt/ /əˈraʊnd/

Ted, you don't ever want to see where the subway turns around.

/juː/ /ˈɛv.ər/ /wɒnt/ /siː/ /wɛr/ /ˈsʌbweɪ/ /əˈraʊnd/

Barney's legs won't work.

/lɛɡz/ /wɜːrk/

He's riding the subway from end to end because he physically can't get off the train.

/ˈsʌbweɪ/ /ɛnd/ /ɛnd/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /hiː/ /ɡɛt/ /ɒf/ /treɪn/

Best 50 bucks I ever spent.

/bɛst/ /ˈɛv.ər/

Listen to me, Ted.

/ˈlɪs.ən/ /miː/

I'm going to lose you any second. I'm on the fourth car of the six train

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /luːz/ /juː/ /ˈɛn.i/ /ˈsɛk.ənd/ /ɒn/ /kɑːr/ /sɪks/ /treɪn/

heading south from Pelham Bay Park in the Bronx.

/pɑːrk/

Meet me at the 86th Street station in, like, half an hour?

/miːt/ /miː/ /striːt/ /ˈsteɪʃən/ /laɪk/ /hæf/ /ˈaʊ.ər/

All right. I'll be right there.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /biː/ /raɪt/ /ðɛr/

Stay where you are.

/steɪ/ /wɛr/ /juː/

Oh, come on. You're not even going to give up your seat for him?

/kʌm/ /ɒn/ /ˈiːvən/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ɡɪv/ /ʌp/ /jʊr/ /siːt/ /fɔːr/ /hɪm/

I'm sorry. I can't.

/ˈsɒr.i/

Douche.

- Barney?! - Ted! - Barney?! - Ted!

No...!

/noʊ/

See? If Barney never tried to run the marathon,

/siː/ /ɪf/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /rʌn/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

you never would have jumped that turnstile,

/juː/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /ðæt/

you wouldn't have had that court date today, and we would have made this flight.

/juː/ /hæv/ /hæd/ /ðæt/ /kɔːt/ /deɪt/ /təˈdeɪ/ /ænd/ /wiː/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /flaɪt/

You're right. Everything can be traced back to him.

/raɪt/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /kæn/ /biː/ /bæk/ /hɪm/

Like that rash we all got at Christmas.

/laɪk/ /ðæt/ /wiː/ /ɔːl/ /ˈkrɪsməs/

All right, I have to see what's going on.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /hæv/ /siː/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ɒn/

- So I was able to get you two seats. - Really? That's great!

/wɒz/ /ˈeɪ.bəl/ /ɡɛt/ /juː/ /tuː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ɡreɪt/

No, no, not you. I'm talking to my mom about Blue Man Group.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /maɪ/ /mɒm/ /əˈbaʊt/ /bluː/ /mæn/ /ɡruːp/

Ma, can I call you back?

/kæn/ /kɔːl/ /juː/ /bæk/

Okay, what about our flight? Can we get on?

/wɒt/ /əˈbaʊt/ /aʊər/ /flaɪt/ /kæn/ /wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /ɒn/

I'm still waiting for... Huh.

/fɔːr/

Looks like your flight left already.

/laɪk/ /jʊr/ /flaɪt/ /lɛft/ /ɔːlˈrɛd.i/

What? No, n-n-n-no, n-no. I have to be in Chicago today.

/wɒt/ /noʊ/ /hæv/ /biː/ /təˈdeɪ/

Well, he never even called you back?

/wɛl/ /hiː/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /ˈiːvən/ /juː/ /bæk/

Well, it's typical pilot. They don't call you back at work

/wɛl/ /ðeɪ/ /kɔːl/ /juː/ /bæk/ /wɜːrk/

and they don't call you back after you spend two nights with them

/ænd/ /ðeɪ/ /kɔːl/ /juː/ /bæk/ /ˈæf.tər/ /juː/ /spɛnd/ /tuː/ /wɪð/ /ðɛm/

at a Radisson in Orlando.

It turned out there was one other flight that would just barely get me

/ɪt/ /aʊt/ /ðɛr/ /wɒz/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /flaɪt/ /ðæt/ /wʊd/ /dʒʌst/ /ɡɛt/ /miː/

to Chicago on time for my job interview,

/ɒn/ /taɪm/ /fɔːr/ /maɪ/ /dʒɒb/ /ˈɪntəvjuː/

but it was all the way on the other side of the airport.

/bʌt/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/ /ɔːl/ /weɪ/ /ɒn/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /saɪd/ /ˈɛərpɔːrt/

What was the name of the airline again?

/wɒt/ /wɒz/ /neɪm/ /ˈɛərlaɪn/ /əˈɡɛn/

I think it was something like Flights R' Us.

/θɪŋk/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /laɪk/ /ʌs/

Was the "R" backwards? God, I hope not.

/wɒz/ /hoʊp/

- Geez. - Stupid smart carts.

/ˈstjuːpɪd/ /smɑːrt/

More like dumb carts.

/mɔːr/ /laɪk/

If we miss this flight, it's all Barney's fault.

/ɪf/ /wiː/ /mɪs/ /flaɪt/ /ɔːl/ /fɔːlt/

You know, Barney never would have run the marathon in the first place

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /rʌn/ /ˈmærəθɒn/ /fɜːrst/ /pleɪs/

- if Marshall hadn't broken his toe. - Yeah, so?

/ɪf/ /hɪz/

What, you think this is my fault?

/wɒt/ /juː/ /θɪŋk/ /ɪz/ /maɪ/ /fɔːlt/

For Marshall, the initial idea to run the marathon came way back in April.

/fɔːr/ /aɪˈdɪ.ə/ /rʌn/ /ˈmærəθɒn/ /weɪ/ /bæk/

My pants are starting to feel a little tight.

/maɪ/ /pænts/ /fiːl/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /taɪt/

Oh, that's okay. I love that cute little belly.

/lʌv/ /ðæt/ /kjuːt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

I cannot allow this.

/əˈlaʊ/

What?

/wɒt/

I am going to run the New York City Marathon.

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /rʌn/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

"It is important to load up on carbohydrates

/ɪt/ /ɪz/ /ɪmˈpɔːr.tənt/ /ʌp/ /ɒn/

two to four hours before a big run.

/tuː/ /ˈaʊərz/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /bɪɡ/ /rʌn/

Try a breakfast of a bagel, a banana,

/traɪ/ /ˈbrɛk.fəst/ /bəˈnɑːnə/

oatmeal, strawberries and some orange juice."

/ænd/ /sʌm/ /ˈɒrɪndʒ/ /dʒuːs/

Here you go, Marshmallow. Just like the book said.

/hɪr/ /juː/ /ɡoʊ/ /dʒʌst/ /laɪk/ /bʊk/ /sɛd/

Yeah, but from now on, I'm eating all of my breakfast runner-style.

/bʌt/ /naʊ/ /ɒn/ /ˈiː.tɪŋ/ /ɔːl/ /maɪ/ /ˈbrɛk.fəst/

Liquids are digested faster.

That way, no energy is wasted,

/ðæt/ /weɪ/ /noʊ/ /ˈɛnərdʒi/ /ɪz/

and it's all about the run.

/ænd/ /ɔːl/ /əˈbaʊt/ /rʌn/

"Don't forget to give yourself plenty of positive reinforcement."

/fərˈɡɛt/ /ɡɪv/ /jɔːrˈsɛlf/ /ˈplɛnti/ /ˈpɒzɪtɪv/

This is gonna be your best run yet.

/ɪz/ /biː/ /jʊr/ /bɛst/ /rʌn/ /jɛt/

You're going to accomplish all of your goals.

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ɔːl/ /jʊr/

You are a robot sent from the future

/juː/ /ˈroʊbɒt/ /sɛnt/ /ˈfjuː.tʃər/

to win the marathon!

/wɪn/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

You are... Marshall.

/juː/

You are... Marshall.

/juː/

You are Marshall! Yeah!

/juː/

"Chafing or blisters can occur in a number of areas,

/kæn/ /ˈnʌmbər/

including the feet, armpits, or even the nipples.

/fiːt/ /ˈiːvən/

Try using some petroleum jelly on the affected areas."

/traɪ/ /sʌm/ /ɒn/

Oh, gosh!

/ɡɒʃ/

Dude, you are a terrific runner.

/juː/

Tomorrow you're gonna run and finish the New York City Marathon!

/təˈmɒr.oʊ/ /rʌn/ /ænd/ /ˈfɪn.ɪʃ/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

You're the best.

/bɛst/

You look good.

/juː/ /lʊk/ /ɡʊd/

Nobody does it better than you.

/ˈnoʊ.bɒd.i/ /dʌz/ /ɪt/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /ðæn/ /juː/

Marshall? Oh, my God!

/maɪ/

So, yes, it was your fault.

/ɪt/ /wɒz/ /jʊr/ /fɔːlt/

I mean, if you don't show up at the apartment in the middle of the day,

/miːn/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /ʃoʊ/ /ʌp/ /əˈpɑːrtmənt/ /ˈmɪdəl/ /deɪ/

Marshall doesn't break his toe, Barney doesn't run in his place,

/breɪk/ /hɪz/ /rʌn/ /hɪz/ /pleɪs/

I don't jump the turnstile and get a court date,

/dʒʌmp/ /ænd/ /ɡɛt/ /kɔːt/ /deɪt/

and we make our flight in plenty of time!

/ænd/ /wiː/ /meɪk/ /aʊər/ /flaɪt/ /ˈplɛnti/ /taɪm/

And I don't fall down and bite my tongue at the airport.

/ænd/ /fɔːl/ /daʊn/ /ænd/ /baɪt/ /maɪ/ /ˈɛərpɔːrt/

That really wasn't my fault.

/ðæt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /maɪ/ /fɔːlt/

I wouldn't have walked in on Marshall if it weren't for Lily.

/hæv/ /ɒn/ /ɪf/ /ɪt/ /fɔːr/

Hey, think about it.

/θɪŋk/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ɪt/

Hey, what's going on here? Oh, looks like they're camping out for something.

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ɒn/ /hɪr/ /laɪk/ /aʊt/ /fɔːr/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/

Yeah, but for what?

/bʌt/ /fɔːr/ /wɒt/

I don't know. Usually there's a Stormtrooper or Klingon in line

/noʊ/ /ˈjuː.ʒu.ə.li/ /laɪn/

"Annual wedding dress blowout.

/ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /drɛs/

Designer sample dresses up to 90% off.

/ʌp/ /ɒf/

Doors open tomorrow, 8:00 a.m."

/ˈoʊ.pən/ /təˈmɒr.oʊ/

Oh, my God. Can you believe what some nut bags will do to save a few bucks?

/maɪ/ /kæn/ /juː/ /bɪˈliːv/ /wɒt/ /sʌm/ /wɪl/ /duː/ /seɪv/ /fjuː/

We have to camp out.

/wiː/ /hæv/ /aʊt/

- Are you serious? - You don't understand.

/juː/ /ˈsɪəriəs/ /juː/ /ˌʌn.dərˈstænd/

This is an amazing sale. I've heard about it before,

/ɪz/ /əˈmeɪzɪŋ/ /hɜːrd/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ɪt/ /bɪˈfɔːr/

but I never knew where it was.

/bʌt/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /njuː/ /wɛr/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/

We'll have a wedding dress campout. It'll be fun.

/hæv/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /drɛs/ /biː/ /fʌn/

I can't go. I've got this thing.

/ɡoʊ/ /θɪŋ/

- What thing? - A penis.

/wɒt/ /θɪŋ/

- This is the place. - Oh, wow.

/ɪz/ /pleɪs/

Badgley Mischka! Melissa Sweet! Badgley Mischka! Melissa Sweet!

/swiːt/ /swiːt/

Vera Wang!

Oh, Robin, do you have any idea what you guys stumbled onto here?

/duː/ /juː/ /hæv/ /ˈɛn.i/ /aɪˈdɪ.ə/ /wɒt/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /hɪr/

You said wang.

/juː/ /sɛd/

Oh, this reminds me of the ticket line to Lilith Fair, 1998.

/miː/ /ˈtɪkɪt/ /laɪn/ /fɛr/

Only fewer mullets.

/ˈoʊnli/

You should feel good. You're only, like, the tenth craziest bride in New York.

/juː/ /ʃʊd/ /fiːl/ /ɡʊd/ /ˈoʊnli/ /laɪk/ /braɪd/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/

Ooh, this is comfy.

/ɪz/

We might actually be able to sleep.

/wiː/ /maɪt/ /ˈæktʃuəli/ /biː/ /ˈeɪ.bəl/ /sliːp/

That's kind of annoying.

/kaɪnd/ /əˈnɔɪɪŋ/

Well, I'm sure somebody will be out here to turn it off any minute.

/wɛl/ /ʃʊr/ /ˈsʌm.bɒd.i/ /wɪl/ /biː/ /aʊt/ /hɪr/ /tɜːrn/ /ɪt/ /ɒf/ /ˈɛn.i/ /ˈmɪn.ɪt/

I don't think I can take this.

/θɪŋk/ /kæn/ /teɪk/

Every time it turns off, I think, oh, maybe it won't turn on again,

/ˈɛv.ri/ /taɪm/ /ɪt/ /ɒf/ /θɪŋk/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /ɪt/ /tɜːrn/ /ɒn/ /əˈɡɛn/

but then it does.

/bʌt/ /ðɛn/ /ɪt/ /dʌz/

Why does it, Robin? Why does it keep turning on?

/waɪ/ /dʌz/ /ɪt/ /waɪ/ /dʌz/ /ɪt/ /kiːp/ /ɒn/

It's gonna be okay, sweetie. Why...

/biː/ /ˈswiːti/ /waɪ/

Why don't we make a game out of it, okay?

/waɪ/ /wiː/ /meɪk/ /ɡeɪm/ /aʊt/ /ɪt/

Why don't we sing along?

/waɪ/ /wiː/ /sɪŋ/ /əˈlɒŋ/

If we get through this,

/ɪf/ /wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /θruː/

I swear I'm gonna live my life differently.

/swɛər/ /lɪv/ /maɪ/ /laɪf/

I just want to tell my parents I love them one more time.

/dʒʌst/ /wɒnt/ /tɛl/ /maɪ/ /ˈpɛərənts/ /lʌv/ /ðɛm/ /mɔːr/ /taɪm/

Morning, ladies.

/ˈmɔːr.nɪŋ/

- It's him. It's the car guy! - Get out of here!

/hɪm/ /kɑːr/ /ɡaɪ/ /ɡɛt/ /aʊt/ /hɪr/

The next morning, Robin was too tired to go all the way back to Brooklyn,

/nɛkst/ /ˈmɔːr.nɪŋ/ /wɒz/ /ˈtaɪ.ərd/ /ɡoʊ/ /ɔːl/ /weɪ/ /bæk/

so while I was at work,

/waɪl/ /wɒz/ /wɜːrk/

she went to crash at my apartment for a couple hours,

/ʃiː/ /wɛnt/ /maɪ/ /əˈpɑːrtmənt/ /fɔːr/ /ˈkʌpəl/ /ˈaʊərz/

and that's when...

/ænd/ /wɛn/

Nobody does it better than you.

/ˈnoʊ.bɒd.i/ /dʌz/ /ɪt/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /ðæn/ /juː/

Marshall?! Oh, my God!

/maɪ/

So if Lily hadn't dragged me down to the wedding dress store,

/ɪf/ /miː/ /daʊn/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /drɛs/ /stɔːr/

we would have made the first flight.

/wiː/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /fɜːrst/ /flaɪt/

Oh, thank God. The doors are still open. We made it.

/ˈoʊ.pən/ /wiː/ /ɪt/

Hi. Please. We really need to get on this flight.

/pliːz/ /wiː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /niːd/ /ɡɛt/ /ɒn/ /flaɪt/

Oh, my God!

/maɪ/

You're that reporter from Metro News 1.

/ðæt/ /rɪˈpɔːtər/ /njuːz/

Yes, yes, I am.

I can't believe you recognized me.

/bɪˈliːv/ /juː/ /miː/

- You did that story on the giant pizzas? - Would you check to see

/juː/ /dɪd/ /ðæt/ /ˈstɔːri/ /ɒn/ /wʊd/ /juː/ /tʃɛk/ /siː/

- if you have any more seats? - One moment, sir.

/ɪf/ /juː/ /hæv/ /ˈɛn.i/ /mɔːr/ /ˈmoʊmənt/ /sɜːr/

Were those pizzas real? Come on, were they?

/wɜːr/ /ðoʊz/ /riːl/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/ /wɜːr/ /ðeɪ/

- Robin... - One second, Ted.

/ˈsɛk.ənd/

Um, you know, a lot of people ask me that.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /lɒt/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /æsk/ /miː/ /ðæt/

The truth is, the pizzas were real.

/truːθ/ /ɪz/ /wɜːr/ /riːl/

- Calzones. Trick photography. - I knew it!

/njuː/ /ɪt/

God, it is so nice to meet a fan!

/ɪt/ /ɪz/ /naɪs/ /miːt/ /fæn/

And I would be a fan of your work if you could get us

/ænd/ /wʊd/ /biː/ /fæn/ /jʊr/ /wɜːrk/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /kʊd/ /ɡɛt/ /ʌs/

two seats on that next flight.

/tuː/ /ɒn/ /ðæt/ /nɛkst/ /flaɪt/

Well, the, uh, flight attendants are just finishing up their final seat count.

/wɛl/ /flaɪt/ /dʒʌst/ /ʌp/ /ðɛr/ /ˈfaɪnəl/ /siːt/ /kaʊnt/

Let me see what I can find out.

/lɛt/ /miː/ /siː/ /wɒt/ /kæn/ /faɪnd/ /aʊt/

Would it help if I got on and gave an impassioned speech about my destiny?

/wʊd/ /ɪt/ /hɛlp/ /ɪf/ /ɒn/ /ænd/ /ɡeɪv/ /spiːtʃ/ /əˈbaʊt/ /maɪ/

I think it might hurt.

/θɪŋk/ /ɪt/ /maɪt/ /hɜːrt/

This is such a nightmare.

/ɪz/ /sʌtʃ/

Okay, so we agree? This goes back to Lily wanting to camp out

/wiː/ /əˈɡriː/ /ɡoʊz/ /bæk/ /aʊt/

for a wedding dress?

/fɔːr/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /drɛs/

No. Wait. It goes back further.

/noʊ/ /weɪt/ /ɪt/ /ɡoʊz/ /bæk/

Remember why we were eating hot dogs on the East Side?

/rɪˈmɛm.bər/ /waɪ/ /wiː/ /wɜːr/ /ˈiː.tɪŋ/ /hɒt/ /dɒɡz/ /ɒn/ /iːst/ /saɪd/

1939?!

This penny's from 1939!

A 67-year-old penny.

Do you realize this penny was minted during World War II?

/duː/ /juː/ /wɒz/ /ˈdʊərɪŋ/ /wɜːrld/ /wɔːr/

Oh, so was my grandfather, but that doesn't make him interesting.

/wɒz/ /maɪ/ /ˈɡrændfɑːðər/ /bʌt/ /ðæt/ /meɪk/ /hɪm/ /ˈɪn.trɪ.stɪŋ/

Look, I know a little something about coins,

/lʊk/ /noʊ/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /əˈbaʊt/

and this baby is worth something to a collector.

/ænd/ /ˈbeɪbi/ /ɪz/ /wɜːrθ/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/

- No, it's not. - Yes, it is!

/noʊ/ /ɪt/ /ɪz/

You know what? I'm gonna take you out to dinner with the money I get for this little guy.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /teɪk/ /juː/ /aʊt/ /ˈdɪn.ər/ /wɪð/ /ˈmʌn.i/ /ɡɛt/ /fɔːr/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /ɡaɪ/

And that's exactly what I did.

/ænd/ /ɪɡˈzæktli/ /wɒt/ /dɪd/

You're lucky there's still a place that serves anything for a dollar fifty.

/ˈlʌki/ /pleɪs/ /ðæt/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/ /fɔːr/

Hey, that's 150 times its original value.

/taɪmz/ /ɪts/ /əˈrɪdʒɪnəl/

Actually, the meal was only $1.49.

/ˈæktʃuəli/ /miːl/ /wɒz/ /ˈoʊnli/

1984.

Hey, in 50 years, we can get dinner again.

/wiː/ /kæn/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈdɪn.ər/ /əˈɡɛn/

How dare you.

/haʊ/ /juː/

Hey, what's going on?

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ɒn/

I don't know. Looks like they're camping out for something.

/noʊ/ /laɪk/ /aʊt/ /fɔːr/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/

Yeah, but for what?

/bʌt/ /fɔːr/ /wɒt/

It was me.

/ɪt/ /wɒz/ /miː/

I started this.

If I hadn't picked up that penny,

/ɪf/ /ʌp/ /ðæt/

we wouldn't have gone to get hot dogs all the way across town.

/wiː/ /hæv/ /ɡɔːn/ /ɡɛt/ /hɒt/ /dɒɡz/ /ɔːl/ /weɪ/ /əˈkrɒs/ /taʊn/

And we wouldn't have seen that wedding dress store,

/ænd/ /wiː/ /hæv/ /ðæt/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /drɛs/ /stɔːr/

Lily wouldn't have wanted to camp out there,

/hæv/ /aʊt/ /ðɛr/

and I wouldn't have needed a nap at your apartment the next day.

/ænd/ /hæv/ /jʊr/ /əˈpɑːrtmənt/ /nɛkst/ /deɪ/

Marshall wouldn't have broken his toe.

/hæv/ /hɪz/

Barney wouldn't have run the marathon.

/hæv/ /rʌn/ /ˈmærəθɒn/

I wouldn't have jumped that turnstile,

/hæv/ /ðæt/

gotten arrested, had that court date...

/hæd/ /ðæt/ /kɔːt/ /deɪt/

And we would have made our flight.

/ænd/ /wiː/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /aʊər/ /flaɪt/

I don't think we can go back any further than that

/θɪŋk/ /wiː/ /kæn/ /ɡoʊ/ /bæk/ /ˈɛn.i/ /ðæn/ /ðæt/

unless you know who dropped the penny.

/ənˈlɛs/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /huː/

I wish I did.

/wɪʃ/ /dɪd/

Though that person's already been punished enough,

/ðoʊ/ /ðæt/ /ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /ɪˈnʌf/

losing a sweet penny like that.

/swiːt/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/

Oh, please tell me you have some good news.

/pliːz/ /tɛl/ /miː/ /juː/ /hæv/ /sʌm/ /ɡʊd/ /njuːz/

Uh, I'm afraid not.

/əˈfreɪd/

There are no extra seats on the plane. I'm sorry.

/ðɛr/ /noʊ/ /ˈɛkstrə/ /ɒn/ /pleɪn/ /ˈsɒr.i/

All, right, well, thanks for trying.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /wɛl/ /fɔːr/

I can't believe this. That's it, it's over.

/bɪˈliːv/ /ɪt/ /ˈoʊ.vər/

Ted, come on.

/kʌm/ /ɒn/

Your destiny just wasn't to make it to Chicago today.

/jʊr/ /dʒʌst/ /meɪk/ /ɪt/ /təˈdeɪ/

Anyway, if that firm really wants you, they'll reschedule.

/ˈɛniweɪ/ /ɪf/ /ðæt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /juː/

But that's not what happened. They didn't reschedule.

/bʌt/ /wɒt/ /ˈhæpənd/ /ðeɪ/

They hired someone else.

/ðeɪ/ /haɪərd/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /ɛls/

And as it turned out, three months later,

/ænd/ /ɪt/ /aʊt/ /θriː/ /ˈleɪtər/

that guy ended up having to relocate to Chicago.

/ðæt/ /ɡaɪ/ /ʌp/ /ˈhævɪŋ/

Kids, funny thing about destiny--

/kɪdz/ /ˈfʌn.i/ /θɪŋ/ /əˈbaʊt/

I thought I was destined to get that job.

/θɔːt/ /wɒz/ /ɡɛt/ /ðæt/ /dʒɒb/

But I was wrong.

/bʌt/ /wɒz/ /rɒŋ/

My destiny was to stay in New York.

/maɪ/ /wɒz/ /steɪ/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/

Because if I hadn't,

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /ɪf/

I never would have met your mother.

/ˈnɛv.ər/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /jʊr/ /ˈmʌð.ər/