Season 2 · Tập 18

Kids, in the spring of 2007, everything was great between me and Robin.

/kɪdz/ /sprɪŋ/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /wɒz/ /ɡreɪt/ /bɪˈtwiːn/ /miː/ /ænd/

So we decided to try and make it even better.

/wiː/ /traɪ/ /ænd/ /meɪk/ /ɪt/ /ˈiːvən/ /ˈbɛt.ər/

We decided to move in together.

/wiː/ /muːv/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/

So, I can have the moving truck here by 8:00 am.

/kæn/ /hæv/ /trʌk/ /hɪr/

Does that sound good to everybody?

/dʌz/ /ðæt/ /saʊnd/ /ɡʊd/ /ˈɛv.ri.bɒd.i/

By the way, what are you guys doing with Ted's room?

/weɪ/ /wɒt/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /wɪð/ /ruːm/

'Cause if you need help with the rent, I'll take it.

/kɔːz/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /niːd/ /hɛlp/ /wɪð/ /rɛnt/ /teɪk/ /ɪt/

Why would you want to live with us?

/waɪ/ /wʊd/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /lɪv/ /wɪð/ /ʌs/

I don't call what you guys do "living."

/kɔːl/ /wɒt/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /duː/ /ˈlɪvɪŋ/

Here's the deal, I need a room closer to the bar.

/diːl/ /niːd/ /ruːm/ /bɑːr/

It takes me exactly 23 minutes

/ɪt/ /miː/ /ɪɡˈzæktli/

to get a girl from the bar back to my apartment.

/ɡɛt/ /ɡɜːrl/ /bɑːr/ /bæk/ /maɪ/ /əˈpɑːrtmənt/

A lot can go wrong in 23 minutes.

/lɒt/ /kæn/ /ɡoʊ/ /rɒŋ/

This is going to be so hot.

/ɪz/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /biː/ /hɒt/

She's paying.

I swear, if he doesn't call me back,

/swɛər/ /ɪf/ /hiː/ /kɔːl/ /miː/ /bæk/

I'm going to go through with this.

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ɡoʊ/ /θruː/ /wɪð/

Please hurry, sir.

/pliːz/ /ˈhʌri/ /sɜːr/

I want to do dirty stuff with you.

/wɒnt/ /duː/ /ˈdɜːrti/ /stʌf/ /wɪð/ /juː/

Stuff I won't let him do.

/stʌf/ /lɛt/ /hɪm/ /duː/

Every red light run is an extra $20.

/ˈɛv.ri/ /rɛd/ /laɪt/ /rʌn/ /ɪz/ /ˈɛkstrə/

Baby?

/ˈbeɪbi/

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It was all my fault.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/ /ɔːl/ /maɪ/ /fɔːlt/

I am so drunk.

/drʌŋk/

When I'm this drunk, I go crazy!

/wɛn/ /drʌŋk/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈkreɪzi/

I bet you do.

/bɛt/ /juː/ /duː/

Check this out.

/tʃɛk/ /aʊt/

What up NYPD?

/wɒt/ /ʌp/

So close.

/kloʊs/

See? If I had a room here all I have to do is get them upstairs.

/siː/ /ɪf/ /hæd/ /ruːm/ /hɪr/ /ɔːl/ /hæv/ /duː/ /ɪz/ /ɡɛt/ /ðɛm/ /ˌʌpˈstɛrz/

Come on, guys. It'll be great!

/kʌm/ /ɒn/ /ɡaɪz/ /biː/ /ɡreɪt/

We'll come in after you guys are asleep

/kʌm/ /ˈæf.tər/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /əˈsliːp/

and I'll be gone before you wake up.

/ænd/ /biː/ /ɡɔːn/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /juː/ /weɪk/ /ʌp/

So, you get to have sex and we get to wake some skanky girl up in the morning

/juː/ /ɡɛt/ /hæv/ /sɛks/ /ænd/ /wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /weɪk/ /sʌm/ /ɡɜːrl/ /ʌp/ /ˈmɔːr.nɪŋ/

and kick her out?

/ænd/ /kɪk/ /hɜːr/ /aʊt/

God, Lily.

Some guy just told her that he loved her then pretended to go to the bathroom

/sʌm/ /ɡaɪ/ /dʒʌst/ /toʊld/ /hɜːr/ /ðæt/ /hiː/ /lʌvd/ /hɜːr/ /ðɛn/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈbæθruːm/

and never came back you can't make her a cup of coffee?

/ænd/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /bæk/ /juː/ /meɪk/ /hɜːr/ /kʌp/ /ˈkɔː.fi/

Real nice.

/riːl/ /naɪs/

I put all your heavy jackets in this box marked "winter."

/pʊt/ /ɔːl/ /jʊr/ /ˈhɛvi/ /bɒks/ /ˈwɪntər/

And all your colorful sweaters in this box marked "Bill Cosby."

/ænd/ /ɔːl/ /jʊr/ /bɒks/

Make fun, but America loved that guy for a reason.

/meɪk/ /fʌn/ /bʌt/ /lʌvd/ /ðæt/ /ɡaɪ/ /fɔːr/ /ˈriːzən/

Wow!

Almost done.

/ˈɔːlmoʊst/ /dʌn/

Not so fast.

/fæst/

Take your sword.

/teɪk/ /jʊr/

Wow. Ui chao.

- End of an era. - Yeah.

/ɛnd/

It's a bummer to break up the set, but you're going to need that sword.

/breɪk/ /ʌp/ /sɛt/ /bʌt/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /niːd/ /ðæt/

It's true-- my building is infested with dragons.

/truː/ /maɪ/ /ˈbɪldɪŋ/ /ɪz/ /wɪð/

Looks like our little boy is finally moving out.

/laɪk/ /aʊər/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /bɔɪ/ /ɪz/ /ˈfaɪnəli/ /aʊt/

It seems like just yesterday he was a cute little freshmen.

/ɪt/ /laɪk/ /dʒʌst/ /ˈjɛs.tər.deɪ/ /hiː/ /wɒz/ /kjuːt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

Discovering Reggae and ultimate Frisbee.

/ænd/

He did it later than the other kids but we never pushed him.

/hiː/ /dɪd/ /ɪt/ /ˈleɪtər/ /ðæn/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /kɪdz/ /bʌt/ /wiː/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /hɪm/

We knew he'd get there.

/wiː/ /njuː/ /ɡɛt/ /ðɛr/

You haven't moved in yet, have you?

/juː/ /jɛt/ /hæv/ /juː/

Good. You guys have to take this quiz.

/ɡʊd/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /hæv/ /teɪk/ /kwɪz/

I found it in a magazine.

/ɪt/ /ˌmæɡəˈziːn/

It's called the "Are you ready to move in together?" quiz.

/juː/ /ˈrɛd.i/ /muːv/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /kwɪz/

Well, if it's anything like you're "Are you wearing panties" quiz,

/wɛl/ /ɪf/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/ /laɪk/ /juː/ /kwɪz/

I'm out.

/aʊt/

Question one,

/ˈkwɛs.tʃən/

Ted, "Do you want to move in with Robin?"

/duː/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /muːv/ /wɪð/

Mm. Yes.

Oh, you got the first one wrong.

/juː/ /fɜːrst/ /rɒŋ/

The answer is "no," you secretly want to be single

/ˈæn.sər/ /ɪz/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /biː/ /ˈsɪŋɡəl/

and hang out with your awesome friend Barney."

/ænd/ /aʊt/ /wɪð/ /jʊr/ /ˈɔːsəm/ /frɛnd/

Question two.

/ˈkwɛs.tʃən/ /tuː/

Robin, "Do you think you can score a hotter guy than Ted?"

/duː/ /juː/ /θɪŋk/ /juː/ /kæn/ /skɔːr/ /ˈhɒtər/ /ɡaɪ/ /ðæn/

Correct. The answer was awkward silence.

/kəˈrɛkt/ /ˈæn.sər/ /wɒz/ /ˈɔːkwərd/

Question three, "Did I just make up this quiz to prove a point?"

/ˈkwɛs.tʃən/ /θriː/ /dɪd/ /dʒʌst/ /meɪk/ /ʌp/ /kwɪz/ /pruːv/ /pɔɪnt/

Yes.

Yes, I did.

/dɪd/

Really? You mean it's not from Old Yellow Legal Pad Magazine?

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /juː/ /miːn/ /oʊld/ /ˈjɛloʊ/ /ˈliːɡəl/ /pæd/ /ˌmæɡəˈziːn/

So? We all agree?

/wiː/ /ɔːl/ /əˈɡriː/

We move Ted's stuff back up here?

/wiː/ /muːv/ /stʌf/ /bæk/ /ʌp/ /hɪr/

Mm... no. We're still moving in together.

/noʊ/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/

Why? This is crazy.

/waɪ/ /ɪz/ /ˈkreɪzi/

Ted you're throwing your life away. This girl is blinding you.

/jʊr/ /laɪf/ /əˈweɪ/ /ɡɜːrl/ /ɪz/ /juː/

With her shiny hair and her boobed shaped boobs.

/wɪð/ /hɜːr/ /hɛr/ /ænd/ /hɜːr/

This is bad for you, too, you know.

/ɪz/ /bæd/ /fɔːr/ /juː/ /juː/ /noʊ/

How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?

/haʊ/ /juː/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /fiːl/ /wɛn/ /hiː/ /juː/ /wɪˈðaʊt/ /ˈɛn.i/

I'm not wearing makeup right now.

/raɪt/ /naʊ/

Holy crap, you're beautiful.

/ˈbjuː.tɪ.fəl/

All right then, how will you feel when you can't sneak the occasional cigarette?

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /ðɛn/ /haʊ/ /wɪl/ /juː/ /fiːl/ /wɛn/ /juː/ /ˌsɪɡəˈrɛt/

Oh, come on, Robin doesn't smoke.

/kʌm/ /ɒn/ /smoʊk/

Wait, do you?

/weɪt/ /duː/ /juː/

Of course not. Why?

/kɔːrs/ /waɪ/

Don't tell me how to live my life!

/tɛl/ /miː/ /haʊ/ /lɪv/ /maɪ/ /laɪf/

Ted, I can't let you do this.

/lɛt/ /juː/ /duː/

Come on. This is happening.

/kʌm/ /ɒn/ /ɪz/ /ˈhæpənɪŋ/

So instead of fighting it why, why don't you just help?

/ɪnˈstɛd/ /ˈfaɪtɪŋ/ /ɪt/ /waɪ/ /waɪ/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /hɛlp/

- You want me to help you? - Yeah.

/juː/ /wɒnt/ /miː/ /hɛlp/ /juː/

Okay, Ted.

I'll help you.

/hɛlp/ /juː/

Can't believe we actually got him to take a box down.

/bɪˈliːv/ /wiː/ /ˈæktʃuəli/ /hɪm/ /teɪk/ /bɒks/ /daʊn/

Maybe he's finally getting on board.

/ˈmeɪbi/ /ˈfaɪnəli/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ɒn/ /bɔːrd/

Where's the truck?

/trʌk/

Where's Barney?

Wait for it.

/weɪt/ /fɔːr/ /ɪt/

I can't believe this! Everything I own in the world is in there.

/bɪˈliːv/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /oʊn/ /wɜːrld/ /ɪz/ /ðɛr/

Except for this box of pot lids.

/ɪkˈsɛpt/ /fɔːr/ /bɒks/ /pɒt/

And the sword.

/ænd/

I'm going to kill him. I swear to God I'm going to kill him!

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /kɪl/ /hɪm/ /swɛər/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /kɪl/ /hɪm/

Right. Maybe I'll just hold on to that. For now.

/raɪt/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /dʒʌst/ /hoʊld/ /ɒn/ /ðæt/ /fɔːr/ /naʊ/

Marshall, we live alone.

/wiː/ /lɪv/ /əˈloʊn/

This is so great!

/ɪz/ /ɡreɪt/

We can finally do all the things we always said we wanted to do if we lived alone.

/wiː/ /kæn/ /ˈfaɪnəli/ /duː/ /ɔːl/ /θɪŋz/ /wiː/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /sɛd/ /wiː/ /duː/ /ɪf/ /wiː/ /əˈloʊn/

Oh, I know what I want to start with.

/noʊ/ /wɒt/ /wɒnt/ /stɑːrt/ /wɪð/

So, here we are, right?

/hɪr/ /wiː/ /raɪt/

Sitting around the apartment naked.

/əˈraʊnd/ /əˈpɑːrtmənt/

- Awesome. - Yep.

/ˈɔːsəm/

It's not as awesome as I thought it would be.

/ˈɔːsəm/ /θɔːt/ /ɪt/ /wʊd/ /biː/

- My butt itches. - I'm cold.

/maɪ/ /bʌt/ /koʊld/

I noticed.

Yeah, like you're one to talk, Pointy.

/laɪk/ /tɔːk/

Barney, I don't know if you got my other 47 messages,

/noʊ/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /maɪ/ /ˈʌð.ər/

but if my stuff isn't here within the hour I'm calling the cops.

/bʌt/ /ɪf/ /maɪ/ /stʌf/ /hɪr/ /ˈaʊ.ər/ /ˈkɔːlɪŋ/

This is the last time I'm calling you.

/ɪz/ /læst/ /taɪm/ /ˈkɔːlɪŋ/ /juː/

Because my charger's in the back of the truck.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /maɪ/ /bæk/ /trʌk/

Don't worry, it's Barney. He'll bring the stuff back.

/ˈwʌri/ /brɪŋ/ /stʌf/ /bæk/

No, it's just... I was really looking forward to settling in, you know?

/noʊ/ /dʒʌst/ /wɒz/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈfɔːr.wərd/ /juː/ /noʊ/

Maybe setting up my TV.

/ˈmeɪbi/ /ʌp/ /maɪ/

Watching a movie in bed.

/ˈwɒtʃɪŋ/ /ˈmuːvi/ /bɛd/

What? Sao?

/wɒt/

Do we really want a TV in the bedroom?

/duː/ /wiː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /wɒnt/ /ˈbɛdruːm/

I thought we did.

/θɔːt/ /wiː/ /dɪd/

I'm not sure that we do.

/ʃʊr/ /ðæt/ /wiː/ /duː/

Well, where else would we put my TV?

/wɛl/ /wɛr/ /ɛls/ /wʊd/ /wiː/ /pʊt/ /maɪ/

We could just put it in our storage unit in the basement.

/wiː/ /kʊd/ /dʒʌst/ /pʊt/ /ɪt/ /aʊər/ /ˈbeɪsmənt/

But wouldn't we miss my TV?

/bʌt/ /wiː/ /mɪs/ /maɪ/

- Would we? - Yes, we would.

/wʊd/ /wiː/ /wiː/ /wʊd/

We've had that TV for a long time

/hæd/ /ðæt/ /fɔːr/ /lɔːŋ/ /taɪm/

and we would feel more at home if it were setup in our bedroom.

/ænd/ /wiː/ /wʊd/ /fiːl/ /mɔːr/ /hoʊm/ /ɪf/ /ɪt/ /wɜːr/ /aʊər/ /ˈbɛdruːm/

- We need wine, don't we? - Yes, we do.

/wiː/ /niːd/ /waɪn/ /wiː/ /wiː/ /duː/

Should we, um, move this to the bedroom?

/ʃʊd/ /wiː/ /muːv/ /ˈbɛdruːm/

Why?

/waɪ/

Ted doesn't live here anymore.

/lɪv/ /hɪr/ /ˌɛniˈmɔːr/

We can do it wherever we want.

/wiː/ /kæn/ /duː/ /ɪt/ /wiː/ /wɒnt/

You know what else?

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /ɛls/

We don't have to be quiet anymore.

/wiː/ /hæv/ /biː/ /ˈkwaɪɪt/ /ˌɛniˈmɔːr/

We can be as loud as we want.

/wiː/ /kæn/ /biː/ /laʊd/ /wiː/ /wɒnt/

Okay, I think we need to lay down some ground rules.

/θɪŋk/ /wiː/ /niːd/ /daʊn/ /sʌm/ /ɡraʊnd/

Just because we can be loud doesn't mean we have to be loud.

/dʒʌst/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /wiː/ /kæn/ /biː/ /laʊd/ /miːn/ /wiː/ /hæv/ /biː/ /laʊd/

And although it might turn you on,

/ænd/ /ɔːlˈðoʊ/ /ɪt/ /maɪt/ /tɜːrn/ /juː/ /ɒn/

you screaming, "I'm the best," doesn't do much for me.

/juː/ /ˈskriːmɪŋ/ /bɛst/ /duː/ /mʌtʃ/ /fɔːr/ /miː/

Well, it's a lot better than yelling, "Ted's not here," over and over again.

/wɛl/ /lɒt/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /ðæn/ /hɪr/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /ænd/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /əˈɡɛn/

Well, at least what I said is true.

/wɛl/ /liːst/ /wɒt/ /sɛd/ /ɪz/ /truː/

Well, that was unnecessary.

/wɛl/ /ðæt/ /wɒz/

Well, since I only have one box I figure I might as well unpack it.

/wɛl/ /sɪns/ /ˈoʊnli/ /hæv/ /bɒks/ /maɪt/ /wɛl/ /ɪt/

Mm, where do you think we should put it?

/wɛr/ /duː/ /juː/ /θɪŋk/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/ /pʊt/ /ɪt/

Well, unless you have a separate pot lid room, I was thinking the cupboard.

/wɛl/ /ənˈlɛs/ /juː/ /hæv/ /pɒt/ /ruːm/ /wɒz/

What? Sao?

/wɒt/

Uh, the thing is my kitchen is kind of small.

/θɪŋ/ /ɪz/ /maɪ/ /ˈkɪtʃɪn/ /ɪz/ /kaɪnd/ /smɔːl/

And, um, I already have a bunch of pot lids

/ænd/ /ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /hæv/ /pɒt/

and mine come with pots, so...

/ænd/ /maɪn/ /kʌm/ /wɪð/

You're saying there's no way to make room for the single box of stuff

/noʊ/ /weɪ/ /meɪk/ /ruːm/ /fɔːr/ /ˈsɪŋɡəl/ /bɒks/ /stʌf/

I try to move into our place?

/traɪ/ /muːv/ /aʊər/ /pleɪs/

Well, why don't you just take it down to the...

/wɛl/ /waɪ/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /teɪk/ /ɪt/ /daʊn/

Do not say storage space.

/duː/ /seɪ/ /speɪs/

I was going to say Dumpster.

/wɒz/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /seɪ/

Damn it, Robin, this is all I have left in the world--

/ɪt/ /ɪz/ /ɔːl/ /hæv/ /lɛft/ /wɜːrld/

eight pot lids and a sword.

/eɪt/ /pɒt/ /ænd/

Yeah, about the sword.

/əˈbaʊt/

Hello.

Put on the suit, Mr. Mosby.

/pʊt/ /ɒn/ /suːt/

Barney, I know it's you. Where's my stuff?

/noʊ/ /juː/ /maɪ/ /stʌf/

It's not me.

/miː/

If you want to see your precious possessions again,

/ɪf/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /siː/ /jʊr/ /əˈɡɛn/

put on the suit.

/pʊt/ /ɒn/ /suːt/

What suit?

/wɒt/ /suːt/

Ding-dong. Oh, what's that? The doorbell.

/ðæt/

That's the suit I'm talking about.

/suːt/ /əˈbaʊt/

I haven't gotten to the door yet.

/dɔːr/ /jɛt/

Oh, okay, let me know when you get there.

/lɛt/ /miː/ /noʊ/ /wɛn/ /juː/ /ɡɛt/ /ðɛr/

Okay, I opened it. And there's a suit there.

/ɪt/ /ænd/ /suːt/ /ðɛr/

That's the suit I'm talking about.

/suːt/ /əˈbaʊt/

- Barney.... - This isn't Barney.

But I hear that guy's awesome.

/bʌt/ /hɪr/ /ðæt/ /ˈɔːsəm/

All right. Listen very carefully.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /ˈlɪs.ən/ /ˈvɛr.i/

You will get your stuff back if you are able to complete a series of challenges.

/juː/ /wɪl/ /ɡɛt/ /jʊr/ /stʌf/ /bæk/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /ˈeɪ.bəl/ /kəmˈpliːt/ /ˈsɪəriːz/

Number one, put on the suit.

/ˈnʌmbər/ /pʊt/ /ɒn/ /suːt/

Number two, meet me at McClaren's in an hour.

/ˈnʌmbər/ /tuː/ /miːt/ /miː/ /ˈaʊ.ər/

How will I know who to look for since we've never met?

/haʊ/ /wɪl/ /noʊ/ /huː/ /lʊk/ /fɔːr/ /sɪns/ /ˈnɛv.ər/

I look like Barney.

/lʊk/ /laɪk/

Oh, hey, Ted.

Suit and sneakers.

/suːt/ /ænd/

A little Ellen DeGeneres but you pull it off.

/ˈlɪt.əl/ /bʌt/ /juː/ /pʊl/ /ɪt/ /ɒf/

I don't have any other shoes because you stole them along

/hæv/ /ˈɛn.i/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /ʃuːz/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /juː/ /stoʊl/ /ðɛm/ /əˈlɒŋ/

with everything else I own in the world.

/wɪð/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /ɛls/ /oʊn/ /wɜːrld/

Where's the truck, Barney?

/trʌk/

Barney. Barney.

People's whose trucks I'm not holding for ransom call me Barney.

/ˈhoʊldɪŋ/ /fɔːr/ /kɔːl/ /miː/

I think you should call me The Commodore.

/θɪŋk/ /juː/ /ʃʊd/ /kɔːl/ /miː/

- I'm not calling you... - You're not getting your stuff back.

/ˈkɔːlɪŋ/ /juː/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /jʊr/ /stʌf/ /bæk/

Can I please have my stuff back...

/kæn/ /pliːz/ /hæv/ /maɪ/ /stʌf/ /bæk/

The Commodore?

No.

/noʊ/

Here's the deal, Ted, you're my bro.

/diːl/ /maɪ/ /broʊ/

And you're about to become a henpecked, beaten down, shell of a man.

/ænd/ /əˈbaʊt/ /bɪˈkʌm/ /daʊn/ /mæn/

So tonight, we are going to have one last awesome night together as bros.

/təˈnaɪt/ /wiː/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /hæv/ /læst/ /ˈɔːsəm/ /naɪt/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /broʊz/

It's a bro-ing away party.

/əˈweɪ/ /ˈpɑːrti/

A special bro-casion.

/ˈspɛʃəl/

A bro-choice rally.

Bro-time at the Apollo.

Oh, bro me.

/broʊ/ /miː/

Well, so what do I have to do?

/wɛl/ /wɒt/ /duː/ /hæv/ /duː/

No, it's not what you have to do, it's what you want to do,

/noʊ/ /wɒt/ /juː/ /hæv/ /duː/ /wɒt/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /duː/

and you want to have a good time

/ænd/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /hæv/ /ɡʊd/ /taɪm/

before you go take Fun Ted out back and shoot him.

/bɪˈfɔːr/ /juː/ /ɡoʊ/ /teɪk/ /fʌn/ /aʊt/ /bæk/ /ænd/ /ʃuːt/ /hɪm/

So... first thing on the docket...

/fɜːrst/ /θɪŋ/ /ɒn/

- get me that girl's number. - Absolutely not.

/ɡɛt/ /miː/ /ðæt/ /ˈnʌmbər/ /ˈæbsəluːtli/

Mm. That's too bad.

/bæd/

Hey, hypothetical question: if I was all your stuff,

/ˈkwɛs.tʃən/ /ɪf/ /wɒz/ /ɔːl/ /jʊr/ /stʌf/

would I rather be at the bottom of the East River or The Hudson?

/wʊd/ /ˈrɑːðər/ /biː/ /iːst/

Hey, look, world's strongest man is on.

/lʊk/ /mæn/ /ɪz/ /ɒn/

Ooh, it's the one where Lou Ferrigno pulls the bus

/wɛr/ /bʌs/

from the Partridge family with his teeth.

/ˈfæm.ɪ.li/ /wɪð/ /hɪz/ /tiːθ/

It's the best one. Hey, Ted, get in...

/bɛst/ /ɡɛt/

- We live alone. - Yay.

/wiː/ /lɪv/ /əˈloʊn/ /jeɪ/

Well, I win.

/wɛl/ /wɪn/

You need to give my friend your phone number.

/juː/ /niːd/ /ɡɪv/ /maɪ/ /frɛnd/ /jʊr/ /foʊn/ /ˈnʌmbər/

Wow, I really didn't think Lou Ferrigno could pull that bus.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /θɪŋk/ /kʊd/ /pʊl/ /ðæt/ /bʌs/

Are you sure this is live? It looks pretty old.

/juː/ /ʃʊr/ /ɪz/ /lɪv/ /ɪt/ /ˈprɪti/ /oʊld/

Yeah, that's 'cause the, uh, TV is old.

/kɔːz/ /ɪz/ /oʊld/

So, I'll, uh, call you tomorrow?

/kɔːl/ /juː/ /təˈmɒr.oʊ/

Yeah. Um, not too early. I have church.

/ˈɜːr.li/ /hæv/ /tʃɜːrtʃ/

You were impressive, buddy.

/juː/ /wɜːr/ /ˈbʌdi/

Nice work. All right, next challenge.

/naɪs/ /wɜːrk/ /ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /nɛkst/ /ˈtʃælɪndʒ/

No. No next challenge. Look, this is my first night living with Robin.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /nɛkst/ /ˈtʃælɪndʒ/ /lʊk/ /ɪz/ /maɪ/ /fɜːrst/ /naɪt/ /ˈlɪvɪŋ/ /wɪð/

She's probably pissed I'm spending it out with you.

/ˈprɒbəbli/ /ɪt/ /aʊt/ /wɪð/ /juː/

This might be our last hurrah, my little friend.

/maɪt/ /biː/ /aʊər/ /læst/ /maɪ/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /frɛnd/

Marshall, I am gonna cook you the best dinner of your life.

/kʊk/ /juː/ /bɛst/ /ˈdɪn.ər/ /jʊr/ /laɪf/

How would you like a...

/haʊ/ /wʊd/ /juː/ /laɪk/

one-egg omelet with some ketchup and film?

/wɪð/ /sʌm/ /ænd/ /fɪlm/

Guess Ted's the one who did the shopping.

/ɡɛs/ /huː/ /dɪd/

Ooh, look, a microwave pizza!

/lʊk/

Guess the microwave was Ted's, too.

/ɡɛs/ /wɒz/

Yeah.

So were all the towels.

/wɜːr/ /ɔːl/

Turns out that everything that was useful in this apartment was Ted's.

/aʊt/ /ðæt/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /ðæt/ /wɒz/ /ˈjuːs.fəl/ /əˈpɑːrtmənt/ /wɒz/

Everything that was a Foghat poster we bought ironically in college was mine.

/ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /ðæt/ /wɒz/ /wiː/ /bɔːt/ /ˈkɒlɪdʒ/ /wɒz/ /maɪn/

Marshall. Marshall.

Yeah, baby?

/ˈbeɪbi/

I miss Ted.

/mɪs/

Is it too soon to call him?

/ɪz/ /ɪt/ /suːn/ /kɔːl/ /hɪm/

No, we shouldn't.

/noʊ/ /wiː/

I don't want to interrupt his first night living with Robin.

/wɒnt/ /hɪz/ /fɜːrst/ /naɪt/ /ˈlɪvɪŋ/ /wɪð/

Ha, nice shooting.

/naɪs/

You know, if we win this one it's free onion rings at the Intergalactic Snack Shack.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ɪf/ /wiː/ /wɪn/ /friː/ /snæk/

What a bargain.

/wɒt/

We only had to spend 20 bucks a game.

/wiː/ /ˈoʊnli/ /hæd/ /spɛnd/ /ɡeɪm/

Admit it, you're having fun.

/ədˈmɪt/ /ɪt/ /ˈhævɪŋ/ /fʌn/

Maybe.

/ˈmeɪbi/

I mean, it was pretty funny when that little girl fell over that space barrel.

/miːn/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/ /ˈprɪti/ /ˈfʌn.i/ /wɛn/ /ðæt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /ɡɜːrl/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /ðæt/ /speɪs/

Nice... We win.

/naɪs/ /wiː/ /wɪn/

Oh, walk of shame, walk of game-- what up?

/wɔːk/ /ʃeɪm/ /wɔːk/ /ɡeɪm/ /wɒt/ /ʌp/

Okay. Let's go one more.

/ɡoʊ/ /mɔːr/

- I don't know. - You know you want to.

/noʊ/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /wɒnt/

All right, let's do it-- I just got to call Robin real quick.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /duː/ /ɪt/ /dʒʌst/ /kɔːl/ /riːl/ /kwɪk/

Oh, so that's what it's gonna be like from now on?

/wɒt/ /biː/ /laɪk/ /naʊ/ /ɒn/

No. Okay, okay. You call your old lady and ask permission to have fun.

/noʊ/ /juː/ /kɔːl/ /jʊr/ /oʊld/ /ˈleɪdi/ /ænd/ /æsk/ /hæv/ /fʌn/

Me, I will be at the Snack Shack eating our victory onion rings Han style.

/miː/ /wɪl/ /biː/ /snæk/ /ˈiː.tɪŋ/ /aʊər/ /staɪl/

Solo.

- Hey, Ted. - Hey, sweetie listen,

/ˈswiːti/ /ˈlɪs.ən/

I'm really sorry but I'm gonna be pretty late, so don't wait up.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈsɒr.i/ /bʌt/ /biː/ /ˈprɪti/ /leɪt/ /weɪt/ /ʌp/

Oh, it's totally fine. You do what you got to do.

/ˈtoʊtəli/ /faɪn/ /juː/ /duː/ /wɒt/ /juː/ /duː/

Thanks. You're the best. I love you.

/bɛst/ /lʌv/ /juː/

I love you, too. Bye.

/lʌv/ /juː/ /baɪ/

Hey, sorry about that. Thanks for holding.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ðæt/ /fɔːr/ /ˈhoʊldɪŋ/

Um, so if you could go ahead and cancel my subscription to Guns and Ammo,

/ɪf/ /juː/ /kʊd/ /ɡoʊ/ /ænd/ /maɪ/ /səbˈskrɪpʃən/ /ɡʌnz/ /ænd/

that would be great.

/ðæt/ /wʊd/ /biː/ /ɡreɪt/

No, it's a great magazine. Really great.

/noʊ/ /ɡreɪt/ /ˌmæɡəˈziːn/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ɡreɪt/

They've printed three of my letters.

/θriː/ /maɪ/

It's just that my boyfriend is moving in

/dʒʌst/ /ðæt/ /maɪ/ /ˈbɔɪfrɛnd/ /ɪz/

and he kind of doesn't approve of the whole gun thing.

/ænd/ /hiː/ /kaɪnd/ /hoʊl/ /ɡʌn/ /θɪŋ/

A free hand grenade phone?

/friː/ /hænd/ /foʊn/

You know what? Let me give you my work address.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /lɛt/ /miː/ /ɡɪv/ /juː/ /maɪ/ /wɜːrk/

I did it, baby!

/dɪd/ /ɪt/ /ˈbeɪbi/

I got beer. I got food.

/bɪər/ /fuːd/

We don't need Ted anymore.

/wiː/ /niːd/ /ˌɛniˈmɔːr/

I am the provider of this apartment now,

/əˈpɑːrtmənt/ /naʊ/

and I have provided!

/ænd/ /hæv/

"Provode"? Provided.

Anyway, I got us everything we need.

/ˈɛniweɪ/ /ʌs/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /wiː/ /niːd/

Could you toss me the toilet paper?

/kʊd/ /juː/ /miː/ /ˈtɔɪlɪt/ /ˈpeɪ.pər/

Be right back, baby. Sit tight.

/biː/ /raɪt/ /bæk/ /ˈbeɪbi/ /sɪt/ /taɪt/

Hey, I got to admit, um... I didn't think I would, but, uh...

/ədˈmɪt/ /θɪŋk/ /wʊd/ /bʌt/

I had a really good time tonight.

/hæd/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ɡʊd/ /taɪm/ /təˈnaɪt/

You're a good friend, Barney.

/ɡʊd/ /frɛnd/

Hey, man, why don't you, uh...

/mæn/ /waɪ/ /juː/

why don't you tell me where my truck is.

/waɪ/ /juː/ /tɛl/ /miː/ /wɛr/ /maɪ/ /trʌk/ /ɪz/

No, I don't think so.

/noʊ/ /θɪŋk/

Where's my truck?!

/maɪ/ /trʌk/

Do you know why I haven't given you any of your possessions back yet?

/duː/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /waɪ/ /ˈɡɪv.ən/ /juː/ /ˈɛn.i/ /jʊr/ /bæk/ /jɛt/

Uh, because you're Admiral Jerk of the British Royal Douchery?

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /dʒɜːrk/

Because you don't want them back.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /ðɛm/ /bæk/

You could've left at any time tonight, but you didn't, Ted.

/juː/ /lɛft/ /ˈɛn.i/ /taɪm/ /təˈnaɪt/ /bʌt/ /juː/

Why is that?

/waɪ/ /ɪz/ /ðæt/

Because I didn't want to go back to Robin's without my stuff.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /wɒnt/ /ɡoʊ/ /bæk/ /wɪˈðaʊt/ /maɪ/ /stʌf/

False. You know what I think?

/fɔːls/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /θɪŋk/

I think you spent one day with her and it already sucked.

/θɪŋk/ /juː/ /deɪ/ /wɪð/ /hɜːr/ /ænd/ /ɪt/ /ɔːlˈrɛd.i/

I think you didn't like being there, she didn't like having you there

/θɪŋk/ /juː/ /laɪk/ /ðɛr/ /ʃiː/ /laɪk/ /ˈhævɪŋ/ /juː/ /ðɛr/

and you both realized that you made a huge mistake.

/ænd/ /juː/ /boʊθ/ /ˈriːəlaɪzd/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /hjuːdʒ/ /mɪˈsteɪk/

And that's why you spent your first night living with Robin

/ænd/ /waɪ/ /juː/ /jʊr/ /fɜːrst/ /naɪt/ /ˈlɪvɪŋ/ /wɪð/

out playing laser tag with me.

/aʊt/ /ˈpleɪɪŋ/ /ˈleɪzər/ /wɪð/ /miː/

And that's why three seconds ago

/ænd/ /waɪ/ /θriː/ /əˈɡoʊ/

you didn't call it "my place" or "our place" or "home,"

/juː/ /kɔːl/ /ɪt/ /maɪ/ /pleɪs/ /aʊər/ /pleɪs/ /hoʊm/

you called it "Robin's."

/juː/ /ɪt/

You know what?

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/

You can keep my stuff.

/juː/ /kæn/ /kiːp/ /maɪ/ /stʌf/

- Hey. - Hey, did you get the truck back?

/dɪd/ /juː/ /ɡɛt/ /trʌk/ /bæk/

No.

/noʊ/

Why not? What happened?

/waɪ/ /wɒt/ /ˈhæpənd/

Oh, he pissed me off so much, I left.

/hiː/ /miː/ /ɒf/ /mʌtʃ/ /lɛft/

Anyway, I just wanted to come back here, space out and watch a movie.

/ˈɛniweɪ/ /dʒʌst/ /kʌm/ /bæk/ /hɪr/ /speɪs/ /aʊt/ /ænd/ /wɒtʃ/ /ˈmuːvi/

Do you anything that wasn't made by John Woo?

/duː/ /juː/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/ /ðæt/

Why, do you?

/waɪ/ /duː/ /juː/

You know, forget the movie. I just want to sit.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /fərˈɡɛt/ /ˈmuːvi/ /dʒʌst/ /wɒnt/ /sɪt/

What?

/wɒt/

It's just I eat at that table.

/dʒʌst/ /iːt/ /ðæt/ /ˈteɪ.bəl/

Fine, I'll take my shoes off.

/faɪn/ /teɪk/ /maɪ/ /ʃuːz/ /ɒf/

You know, why don't you just throw me down in the storage space

/juː/ /noʊ/ /waɪ/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /θroʊ/ /miː/ /daʊn/ /speɪs/

where you have room for me.

/wɛr/ /juː/ /hæv/ /ruːm/ /fɔːr/ /miː/

- Ted, come on. - No, you come on.

/kʌm/ /ɒn/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/

I had to jump through hoops all night for Barney

/hæd/ /dʒʌmp/ /θruː/ /ɔːl/ /naɪt/ /fɔːr/

and then it took me an hour to get home because his place

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /ɪt/ /tʊk/ /miː/ /ˈaʊ.ər/ /ɡɛt/ /hoʊm/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /hɪz/ /pleɪs/

is so far away from the bar.

/ɪz/ /fɑːr/ /əˈweɪ/ /bɑːr/

- Oh, my God. - What?

/maɪ/ /wɒt/

I know where Barney put my truck.

/noʊ/ /wɛr/ /pʊt/ /maɪ/ /trʌk/

Let's go back to my place.

/ɡoʊ/ /bæk/ /maɪ/ /pleɪs/

I bet you my place is closer.

/bɛt/ /juː/ /maɪ/ /pleɪs/ /ɪz/

Here we are.

/hɪr/ /wiː/

You live in the loading dock behind the bar?

/juː/ /lɪv/ /bɪˈhaɪnd/ /bɑːr/

I don't live here, baby. This is just my ride.

/lɪv/ /hɪr/ /ˈbeɪbi/ /ɪz/ /dʒʌst/ /maɪ/ /raɪd/

No, no, no, no. I'm not getting into any van,

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ˈɛn.i/ /væn/

I've seen Silence of the Lambs.

Oh, my God. We're drinking champagne in the back of a moving van.

/maɪ/ /ˈdrɪŋkɪŋ/ /ʃæmˈpeɪn/ /bæk/ /væn/

Why, yes, Sara. Yes, we are.

/waɪ/ /wiː/

Those other Rockettes who called you slow are crazy.

/ðoʊz/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /huː/ /juː/ /sloʊ/ /ˈkreɪzi/

Oh, my God. I knew it. You're kidnapping me.

/maɪ/ /njuː/ /ɪt/ /miː/

- Help! Help! - No, no, no, no.

/hɛlp/ /hɛlp/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/

I can explain.

/kæn/ /ɪkˈspleɪn/

Hello?

Enjoying the ride?

/raɪd/

Ted? Ted, you let us out of here. You let us out of here this instant!

/juː/ /lɛt/ /ʌs/ /aʊt/ /hɪr/ /juː/ /lɛt/ /ʌs/ /aʊt/ /hɪr/

This isn't Ted.

But I hear that guy's awesome.

/bʌt/ /hɪr/ /ðæt/ /ˈɔːsəm/

So I took Sara home and I took Barney to a bar near his apartment.

/tʊk/ /hoʊm/ /ænd/ /tʊk/ /bɑːr/ /nɪər/ /hɪz/ /əˈpɑːrtmənt/

Apparently, that strategy had never occurred to him.

/ðæt/ /ˈstræt̬ɪdʒi/ /hæd/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /hɪm/

That poor girl must've been so confused.

/ðæt/ /pʊr/ /ɡɜːrl/ /kənˈfjuːzd/

Yeah.

Well, at least Barney learned a valuable lesson.

/wɛl/ /liːst/ /lɜːrnd/ /ˈlɛs.ən/

You do not want to get scissor kicked in the groin by a Rockette.

/juː/ /duː/ /wɒnt/ /ɡɛt/

So, uh, I guess we should get you unpacked.

/ɡɛs/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/ /ɡɛt/ /juː/

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess we should.

/ɡɛs/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/

Lily... deep within the Amazonian rainforest,

/diːp/ /ˈreɪnfɒrɪst/

there is a type of tree that only grows around the body of an existing tree.

/ðɛr/ /ɪz/ /taɪp/ /triː/ /ðæt/ /ˈoʊnli/ /əˈraʊnd/ /ˈbɒdi/ /triː/

It cannot survive without this tree.

/ɪt/ /sərˈvaɪv/ /wɪˈðaʊt/ /triː/

It is supported...

/ɪt/ /ɪz/

by this tree.

/triː/

Lily, we are that tree.

/wiː/ /ðæt/ /triː/

- The inside tree or the outside tree? - The outside tree.

/triː/ /ˌaʊtˈsaɪd/ /triː/ /ˌaʊtˈsaɪd/ /triː/

- Shouldn't there be three trees? - You and I are one tree.

/ðɛr/ /biː/ /θriː/ /juː/ /ænd/ /triː/

Okay, look, Lily, the point is that we grew around Ted

/lʊk/ /pɔɪnt/ /ɪz/ /ðæt/ /wiː/ /əˈraʊnd/

and without him, we're slowly dying.

/ænd/ /wɪˈðaʊt/ /hɪm/ /ˈsloʊli/

What do we do?

/wɒt/ /duː/ /wiː/ /duː/

I think we can marry each other.

/θɪŋk/ /wiː/ /kæn/ /ˈmæri/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/

But we also have to marry Ted.

/bʌt/ /wiː/ /ˈɔːl.soʊ/ /hæv/ /ˈmæri/

I'll tell you right now, my Dad is not gonna pay for that wedding.

/tɛl/ /juː/ /raɪt/ /naʊ/ /maɪ/ /dæd/ /ɪz/ /peɪ/ /fɔːr/ /ðæt/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/

Ted! Ted!

What are you doing here?

/wɒt/ /juː/ /hɪr/

Robin and I aren't gonna move in together after all.

/ænd/ /muːv/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /ˈæf.tər/ /ɔːl/

What happened?

/wɒt/ /ˈhæpənd/

I thought we decided we were ready?

/θɔːt/ /wiː/ /wiː/ /wɜːr/ /ˈrɛd.i/

I know.

/noʊ/

How did we come to that again?

/haʊ/ /dɪd/ /wiː/ /kʌm/ /ðæt/ /əˈɡɛn/

I don't remember. We were fighting?

/rɪˈmɛm.bər/ /wiː/ /wɜːr/ /ˈfaɪtɪŋ/

- It's all so blurry. - Yeah.

/ɔːl/

The "let's move in together" sex was pretty amazing.

/muːv/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /sɛks/ /wɒz/ /ˈprɪti/ /əˈmeɪzɪŋ/

I know.

/noʊ/

I did that thing with no hands I normally need both to do.

/dɪd/ /ðæt/ /θɪŋ/ /wɪð/ /noʊ/ /hændz/ /ˈnɔːrməli/ /niːd/ /boʊθ/ /duː/

You know... I'm really happy with you.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈhæp.i/ /wɪð/ /juː/

I really happy with you. The way things are.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈhæp.i/ /wɪð/ /juː/ /weɪ/ /θɪŋz/

Maybe we shouldn't mess with that.

/ˈmeɪbi/ /wiː/ /mɛs/ /wɪð/ /ðæt/

I don't know that we should.

/noʊ/ /ðæt/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/

Hey... I hear the "let's not move in together" sex is pretty incredible.

/hɪr/ /muːv/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /sɛks/ /ɪz/ /ˈprɪti/

Let's go back to my place.

/ɡoʊ/ /bæk/ /maɪ/ /pleɪs/

- Ooh, thank you. - You're welcome.

/juː/ /ˈwɛlkəm/

- No, thank you. - You'll be very happy.

/noʊ/ /juː/ /biː/ /ˈvɛr.i/ /ˈhæp.i/

Look, I know you guys are really excited about having the place to yourself.

/lʊk/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ɪkˈsaɪ.tɪd/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ˈhævɪŋ/ /pleɪs/ /jɔːrˈsɛlf/

Until after the wedding, I mean, if it's not too much of an imposition...

/ənˈtɪl/ /ˈæf.tər/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /miːn/ /ɪf/ /mʌtʃ/

God, this feels so right.

/fiːlz/ /raɪt/

Never leave us again.

/ˈnɛv.ər/ /liːv/ /ʌs/ /əˈɡɛn/

Guys, Robin's down in the truck and there's actually a lot of boxes,

/ɡaɪz/ /daʊn/ /trʌk/ /ænd/ /ˈæktʃuəli/ /lɒt/

so maybe we should...

/ˈmeɪbi/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/

Do we have time for this?

/duː/ /wiː/ /hæv/ /taɪm/ /fɔːr/

Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list.

/ænd/ /hæv/ /maɪ/ /hænd/ /ˈkɒpi/ /tɒp/ /tɛn/ /lɪst/

The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...

/tɒp/ /tɛn/ /θɪŋz/ /maɪ/ /trʌk/

It was never your truck.

/ɪt/ /wɒz/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /jʊr/ /trʌk/

...if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.

/ɪf/ /dʒɜːrk/ /ænd/ /ˈɡɪv.ən/ /ɪt/ /bæk/

It was a rental.

/ɪt/ /wɒz/

Number ten, "The Winne-Bango."

/ˈnʌmbər/ /tɛn/

Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck."

/ˈnʌmbər/ /trʌk/

Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her."

/ˈnʌmbər/ /eɪt/ /hɜːr/

Number seven, "The You Scream Truck."

/ˈnʌmbər/ /ˈsɛvən/ /juː/ /skriːm/ /trʌk/

You Scream.

/juː/ /skriːm/

Number six, "Feels On Wheels." Hello!

/ˈnʌmbər/ /sɪks/ /fiːlz/ /ɒn/

Number five, "The Ride Her Truck."

/ˈnʌmbər/ /faɪv/ /raɪd/ /hɜːr/ /trʌk/

Number four, "The 18-Squeeler."

/ˈnʌmbər/

Number three, "The Esca-Laid."

/ˈnʌmbər/ /θriː/

Number two, "The Slam-Boney."

/ˈnʌmbər/ /tuː/

and... the number one thing I would've called my truck

/ænd/ /ˈnʌmbər/ /θɪŋ/ /maɪ/ /trʌk/

if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back...

/ɪf/ /dʒɜːrk/ /ænd/ /ˈɡɪv.ən/ /ɪt/ /bæk/

"The '69 Chevy."

Sorry.

/ˈsɒr.i/