Season 2 · Tập 8

And so, after six months apart,

/ænd/ /ˈæf.tər/ /sɪks/

Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall were finally back together.

/ænt/ /ænd/ /ˈʌŋkəl/ /wɜːr/ /ˈfaɪnəli/ /bæk/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/

Oh, my God. oh, my god

/maɪ/ /maɪ/

These pancakes are delicious!

/ðiːz/ /ˈpænkeɪks/ /dɪˈlɪʃəs/

Yes. Thank you. Yes, Thank you

/juː/ /juː/

Um, I learned how to cook while you were gone this summer.

/lɜːrnd/ /haʊ/ /kʊk/ /waɪl/ /juː/ /wɜːr/ /ɡɔːn/ /ˈsʌmər/

Oh. Do you want to cook dinner tonight?

/duː/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /kʊk/ /ˈdɪn.ər/ /təˈnaɪt/

Yeah, sure.

/ʃʊr/

How about pancakes?

/haʊ/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ˈpænkeɪks/

And things were back to normal... almost.

/ænd/ /θɪŋz/ /wɜːr/ /bæk/ /ˈnɔːrməl/ /ˈɔːlmoʊst/

You may not have much range, but at least I'm marrying a guy

/juː/ /meɪ/ /hæv/ /mʌtʃ/ /bʌt/ /liːst/ /ˈmæriɪŋ/ /ɡaɪ/

who knows how to make pancakes.

/huː/ /haʊ/ /meɪk/ /ˈpænkeɪks/

Oh, um... Oh, um ...

I mean, um...

/miːn/

Well, I... I realize that we haven't really discussed

/wɛl/ /ðæt/ /wiː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/

whether us getting back together means us getting married, but...

/ˈwɛðər/ /ʌs/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /bæk/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /ʌs/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ˈmærid/ /bʌt/

I still wanna.

Do you still wanna?

/duː/ /juː/

Really? Really

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/

Of course, I love you.

/kɔːrs/ /lʌv/ /juː/

No, I mean, that's how you're gonna do it?

/noʊ/ /miːn/ /haʊ/ /duː/ /ɪt/

"Do you still wanna?" That's like the lamest proposal ever.

/duː/ /juː/ /laɪk/ /ˈɛv.ər/

When I did it, I got down on my knees... I don't know, I'm just saying.

/wɛn/ /dɪd/ /ɪt/ /daʊn/ /ɒn/ /maɪ/ /noʊ/ /dʒʌst/

Marshall Eriksen, will you ma...

/wɪl/ /juː/

- No, no, no, no, no, no. - What?! -- No no no no no, no -- What

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/

You can't lead with that. You got to... build up to that.

/juː/ /liːd/ /wɪð/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /bɪld/ /ʌp/ /ðæt/

You got to have, like, a little speech.

/juː/ /hæv/ /laɪk/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /spiːtʃ/

Do you remember your proposal to me?

/duː/ /juː/ /rɪˈmɛm.bər/ /jʊr/ /miː/

I had a speech prepared.

/hæd/ /spiːtʃ/

What do you want to hear?

/wɒt/ /duː/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /hɪr/

I don't know. I mean, you could tell me,

/noʊ/ /miːn/ /juː/ /kʊd/ /tɛl/ /miː/

like, about how good-looking and funny and smart I am

/laɪk/ /əˈbaʊt/ /haʊ/ /ænd/ /ˈfʌn.i/ /ænd/ /smɑːrt/

and I've been working out lately.

/ænd/ /ˈwɜːrkɪŋ/ /aʊt/

It might be nice for you to mention something... about that.

/ɪt/ /maɪt/ /biː/ /naɪs/ /fɔːr/ /juː/ /ˈmɛnʃən/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ðæt/

Marshall... Marshall ...

- you are good-looking... - Thank you.

/juː/ /juː/

- You're funny. - Oh, thanks.

/ˈfʌn.i/

- You're smart. - And a few tears wouldn't hurt.

/smɑːrt/ /ænd/ /fjuː/ /hɜːrt/

Okay, would you freakin' marry me already?

/wʊd/ /juː/ /ˈmæri/ /miː/ /ɔːlˈrɛd.i/

I'll marry you. Of course.

/ˈmæri/ /juː/ /kɔːrs/

But, um, until you see a ring on this finger, don't expect me to put out.

/bʌt/ /ənˈtɪl/ /juː/ /siː/ /rɪŋ/ /ɒn/ /ɪkˈspɛkt/ /miː/ /pʊt/ /aʊt/

Yeah, right. Yeah, Right

/raɪt/ /raɪt/

I'll give you this.

/ɡɪv/ /juː/

That was a very creative use of syrup.

/ðæt/ /wɒz/ /ˈvɛr.i/ /kriˈeɪtɪv/ /juːz/

I can't even look Mrs. Butterworth in the eye.

/ˈiːvən/ /lʊk/ /ˈmɪsɪz/ /aɪ/

Oh, my God. We're getting married!

/maɪ/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ˈmærid/

I know, I know.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/

It was a moment of happiness,

/ɪt/ /wɒz/ /ˈmoʊmənt/

followed of course by a moment of total panic.

/kɔːrs/ /ˈmoʊmənt/

See, when they called off their first wedding,

/siː/ /wɛn/ /ðeɪ/ /ɒf/ /ðɛr/ /fɜːrst/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/

Aunt Lily took off for San Francisco

/ænt/ /tʊk/ /ɒf/ /fɔːr/ /frænˈsɪskoʊ/

leaving Uncle Marshall with the unfortunate task

/ˈʌŋkəl/ /wɪð/ /tæsk/

of telling his entire family.

/hɪz/ /ɪnˈtaɪər/ /ˈfæm.ɪ.li/

Yeah, so now she's gone and the wedding's off.

/naʊ/ /ɡɔːn/ /ænd/ /ɒf/

What do you call someone who just takes off and leaves like that?

/wɒt/ /duː/ /juː/ /kɔːl/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /huː/ /dʒʌst/ /ɒf/ /ænd/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/

What do you call that?

/wɒt/ /duː/ /juː/ /kɔːl/ /ðæt/

I think that that's a little strong.

/θɪŋk/ /ðæt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /strɒŋ/

I can't even believe you would use a word like that.

/ˈiːvən/ /bɪˈliːv/ /juː/ /wʊd/ /juːz/ /wɜːrd/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/

Geez, Grandma.

/ˈɡrænmɑː/

Man, I made a big mess by canceling this wedding, didn't I?

/mæn/ /bɪɡ/ /mɛs/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/

It's okay, baby. It's okay, baby

/ˈbeɪbi/ /ˈbeɪbi/

You're not just realizing that now, are you?

/dʒʌst/ /ðæt/ /naʊ/ /juː/

God, the idea of standing up there in front of all those people

/aɪˈdɪ.ə/ /ʌp/ /ðɛr/ /ɔːl/ /ðoʊz/ /ˈpiː.pəl/

who hate my guts...

/huː/ /heɪt/ /maɪ/ /ɡʌts/

just makes me want to run off to Atlantic City and get married today.

/dʒʌst/ /miː/ /wɒnt/ /rʌn/ /ɒf/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /ænd/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/ /təˈdeɪ/

Yeah. Yeah.

Coming up at 11:00: Are there piranhas in the East River?

/ʌp/ /ðɛr/ /iːst/

What you don't know... could eat you.

/wɒt/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /kʊd/ /iːt/ /juː/

Robin! Stop the news!

/stɒp/ /njuːz/

- What the hell? - It's okay. They're my friends.

/wɒt/ /maɪ/ /frɛndz/

We're going to Atlantic City to elope. You got to come with us.

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /juː/ /kʌm/ /wɪð/ /ʌs/

Oh, my God, that is so fantastic! Oh, my god that is so fantastic

/maɪ/ /ðæt/ /ɪz/ /maɪ/ /ðæt/ /ɪz/

I-I don't know if I can just leave work.

/noʊ/ /ɪf/ /kæn/ /dʒʌst/ /liːv/ /wɜːrk/

It's okay; Mike can read the news tonight.

/kæn/ /riːd/ /njuːz/ /təˈnaɪt/

Hey, Mike... you can read, right? Hey, Mike ... You can read, Right

/juː/ /kæn/ /riːd/ /raɪt/ /juː/ /kæn/ /riːd/ /raɪt/

Yeah, I'm the best at reading.

/bɛst/ /ˈriː.dɪŋ/

- Let's go to Atlantic City! - Yeah! -- Let's go to Atlantic City! -- Yeah!

/ɡoʊ/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈsɪt.i/

You guys are eloping! Oh, that's fantastic.

/juː/ /ɡaɪz/

Wait, is this because there's a time crunch Uncle Ted should know about?

/weɪt/ /ɪz/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /taɪm/ /ˈʌŋkəl/ /ʃʊd/ /noʊ/ /əˈbaʊt/

I hope not because I plan on getting hammered.

/hoʊp/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /plæn/ /ɒn/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/

Guys, this sounds like so much fun, but I can't really take off work.

/ɡaɪz/ /laɪk/ /mʌtʃ/ /fʌn/ /bʌt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /teɪk/ /ɒf/ /wɜːrk/

I'm kind of important around here, you know? I'm the project manager.

/kaɪnd/ /ɪmˈpɔːr.tənt/ /əˈraʊnd/ /hɪr/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /ˈprɒdʒɛkt/ /ˈmænɪdʒər/

Ted, for the rest of our lives,

/fɔːr/ /rɛst/ /aʊər/

we are going to be telling the amazing story

/wiː/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /biː/ /əˈmeɪzɪŋ/ /ˈstɔːri/

of how we went to Atlantic City and got married.

/haʊ/ /wiː/ /wɛnt/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /ænd/ /ˈmærid/

Don't you want to be in that story?

/juː/ /wɒnt/ /biː/ /ðæt/ /ˈstɔːri/

Of course I do.

/kɔːrs/ /duː/

- Let's go to Atlantic City! - Yeah! -- Let's go to Atlantic City -- Yeah!

/ɡoʊ/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈsɪt.i/

Oh, but when we tell the story, can you leave out the part where I hesitate?

/bʌt/ /wɛn/ /wiː/ /tɛl/ /ˈstɔːri/ /kæn/ /juː/ /liːv/ /aʊt/ /pɑːrt/ /wɛr/

You got it.

/juː/ /ɪt/

Hey, guys.

/ɡaɪz/

Wow. A pedicure.

Uh, if there were any shame in a dude getting a pedicure

/ɪf/ /ðɛr/ /wɜːr/ /ˈɛn.i/ /ʃeɪm/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/

I don't think there would have been a feature about it in Details magazine.

/θɪŋk/ /ðɛr/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /ˈfiːtʃər/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ɪt/ /ˌmæɡəˈziːn/

We're going to Atlantic City to elope right now!

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /raɪt/ /naʊ/

Oh, congratulations, Lily.

/kənˌɡrætʃʊˈleɪʃənz/

Marshall, you're getting married? What the hell?

/ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ˈmærid/ /wɒt/

So are you in or not?

/juː/

Hell, yeah, I'm in!

Just... I'm almost done.

/dʒʌst/ /ˈɔːlmoʊst/ /dʌn/

- No, we got to get going to the... - Well, actually, I mean...

/noʊ/ /wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /wɛl/ /ˈæktʃuəli/ /miːn/

It is my wedding day, and since we're here...

/ɪt/ /ɪz/ /maɪ/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /deɪ/ /ænd/ /sɪns/ /hɪr/

So we all got a pedicure and then headed down...

/wiː/ /ɔːl/ /ænd/ /ðɛn/ /ˈhɛdɪd/ /daʊn/

to Atlantic City.

/ˈsɪt.i/

Wow. Look at this place.

/lʊk/ /pleɪs/

I guess I'll have my pick of something old.

/ɡɛs/ /hæv/ /maɪ/ /pɪk/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /oʊld/

And something blue. Somebody should really check on this lady.

/ænd/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /bluː/ /ˈsʌm.bɒd.i/ /ʃʊd/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /tʃɛk/ /ɒn/ /ˈleɪdi/

Ah, A.C., always in decline,

/ˈɔːl.weɪz/

never hitting bottom.

/ˈnɛv.ər/

It's good to be back, old friend.

/ɡʊd/ /biː/ /bæk/ /oʊld/ /frɛnd/

You been here before?

/juː/ /hɪr/ /bɪˈfɔːr/

Oh, uh, once or twice.

/wʌns/

Barney! Barney!

Ah, good to see you, too.

/ɡʊd/ /siː/ /juː/

Three times, maybe.

/θriː/ /taɪmz/ /ˈmeɪbi/

The wedding chapel-- this is it.

/ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /ɪz/ /ɪt/

Are you ready to do this?

/juː/ /ˈrɛd.i/ /duː/

I'm ready. I'm ready

/ˈrɛd.i/ /ˈrɛd.i/

- Let's get married. - Yeah.

/ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/

Oh, crap. I don't have a veil.

/hæv/

I'm a bride; I can't get married without a veil.

/braɪd/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/ /wɪˈðaʊt/

And a bouquet. I need a veil and a bouquet.

/ænd/ /niːd/ /ænd/

Oh, my God, we're getting married.

/maɪ/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ˈmærid/

Don't worry. Relax. We'll get you a veil, honey.

/ˈwʌri/ /rɪˈlæks/ /ɡɛt/ /juː/ /ˈhʌni/

Oh, Robin, that's a really cute outfit.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /kjuːt/

Oh, really? Thanks.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/

Yeah, it has to go. I'm the bride; you can't look better than me.

/ɪt/ /hæz/ /ɡoʊ/ /braɪd/ /juː/ /lʊk/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /ðæn/ /miː/

Done.

/dʌn/

I'm going to get the bouquet. You guys get the veil.

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ɡɛt/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /ɡɛt/

We'll meet in the chapel in 20 minutes.

/miːt/

Ready, break. Ready, break

/ˈrɛd.i/ /breɪk/ /ˈrɛd.i/ /breɪk/

You guys want to go gamble?

/juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /wɒnt/ /ɡoʊ/

No, we got to go get the veil.

/noʊ/ /wiː/ /ɡoʊ/ /ɡɛt/

Or we looked everywhere, and we couldn't find one.

/wiː/ /ˈɛvriwɛr/ /ænd/ /wiː/ /faɪnd/

Yeah, okay. Yeah, Okay

No, you guys go ahead. I'm going to find the veil.

/noʊ/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /faɪnd/

So this is it, right? The last 20 minutes of your single life.

/ɪz/ /ɪt/ /raɪt/ /læst/ /jʊr/ /ˈsɪŋɡəl/ /laɪf/

- I'm proud of you, buddy. - Thanks.

/praʊd/ /juː/ /ˈbʌdi/

- How are you feeling? - Great, a little nervous.

/haʊ/ /juː/ /ˈfiːlɪŋ/ /ɡreɪt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /ˈnɜːrvəs/

- Yeah? Craps? - Not that nervous.

/ðæt/ /ˈnɜːrvəs/

- No, I mean do you want to play craps. - Oh, yeah, definitely.

/noʊ/ /miːn/ /duː/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /pleɪ/ /ˈdɛfɪnɪtli/

Okay, I got the veil.

She wasn't ready to be married.

/ʃiː/ /ˈrɛd.i/ /biː/ /ˈmærid/

All right, let's talk bachelor party.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /tɔːk/ /ˈbætʃələr/ /ˈpɑːrti/

Are we thinking full-on strip club, or should we rent a room

/wiː/ /klʌb/ /ʃʊd/ /wiː/ /rɛnt/ /ruːm/

and have a private toy show-- whew.

/ænd/ /hæv/ /ˈpraɪvɪt/ /ʃoʊ/

What did you just say?

/wɒt/ /dɪd/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /seɪ/

- Barney, no. - Marshall, I'm your best man.

/noʊ/ /jʊr/ /bɛst/ /mæn/

- You're not my best man. - Right here.

/maɪ/ /bɛst/ /mæn/ /raɪt/ /hɪr/

And as your best man, I have to throw you a bachelor party.

/ænd/ /jʊr/ /bɛst/ /mæn/ /hæv/ /θroʊ/ /juː/ /ˈbætʃələr/ /ˈpɑːrti/

That's part of being a best friend.

/pɑːrt/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/

- You're not my best friend. - Right here.

/maɪ/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/ /raɪt/ /hɪr/

Barney, I don't have any time for a bachelor party.

/hæv/ /ˈɛn.i/ /taɪm/ /fɔːr/ /ˈbætʃələr/ /ˈpɑːrti/

I've got, like, 18 minutes.

/laɪk/

18 minutes.

Oh, good. Did you get the veil?

/ɡʊd/ /dɪd/ /juː/ /ɡɛt/

Of course.

/kɔːrs/

And it took us exactly 18 minutes.

/ænd/ /ɪt/ /tʊk/ /ʌs/ /ɪɡˈzæktli/

We went to a strip club.

/wiː/ /wɛnt/ /klʌb/

- Dude! - Unbelievable!

We weren't there for very long. It's not like I had time

/wiː/ /ðɛr/ /fɔːr/ /ˈvɛr.i/ /lɔːŋ/ /laɪk/ /hæd/ /taɪm/

to have a lap dance or anything. I got a lap dance.

/hæv/ /læp/ /dæns/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/ /læp/ /dæns/

- Your last lap dance ever. - Right...

/jʊr/ /læst/ /læp/ /dæns/ /ˈɛv.ər/ /raɪt/

What?

/wɒt/

Okay, I'm here. Right? Okay, I'm here. Right

/hɪr/ /raɪt/ /hɪr/ /raɪt/

Oh, God, the things people waste money on in Atlantic City.

/θɪŋz/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /weɪst/ /ˈmʌn.i/ /ɒn/ /ˈsɪt.i/

Does it smell like strippers in here?

/dʌz/ /ɪt/ /smɛl/ /laɪk/ /hɪr/

That's weird, right?

/raɪt/

Marshall and Lily are getting married!

/ænd/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ˈmærid/

Hell, yeah, look at this.

/lʊk/

Oh, baby, this is it.

/ˈbeɪbi/ /ɪz/ /ɪt/

- Let's do this thing. - All right.

/duː/ /θɪŋ/ /ɔːl/ /raɪt/

Hi. We're here to get married.

/hɪr/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/

Congratulations. We offer a variety of packages

/kənˌɡrætʃʊˈleɪʃənz/ /wiː/ /ˈɒfər/

to give you the special day you've always dreamed about.

/ɡɪv/ /juː/ /ˈspɛʃəl/ /deɪ/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /əˈbaʊt/

We don't want any of that. Just your basic quickie wedding will be fine.

/wiː/ /wɒnt/ /ˈɛn.i/ /ðæt/ /dʒʌst/ /jʊr/ /ˈbeɪ.sɪk/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /wɪl/ /biː/ /faɪn/

Yeah. Yeah.

You know this isn't Vegas, right?

/juː/ /noʊ/ /raɪt/

Well, sure. In Vegas, the casinos pump in oxygen.

/wɛl/ /ʃʊr/

Here, it looks like everyone brought their own.

/hɪr/ /ɪt/ /laɪk/ /ˈɛv.ri.wʌn/ /ðɛr/ /oʊn/

What? What ?

/wɒt/ /wɒt/

It also takes three days to get a marriage license in New Jersey.

/ɪt/ /ˈɔːl.soʊ/ /θriː/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærɪdʒ/ /njuː/ /ˈdʒɜːrzi/

The earliest I could book you for is Monday.

/kʊd/ /bʊk/ /juː/ /fɔːr/ /ɪz/

No, no, no, it has to be today. That's the whole point.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /ɪt/ /hæz/ /biː/ /təˈdeɪ/ /hoʊl/ /pɔɪnt/

Look, I don't know what to say,

/lʊk/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /seɪ/

but if you guys don't want to book a wedding for Monday

/bʌt/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /wɒnt/ /bʊk/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/ /fɔːr/

or play a round of keno, I can't help you.

/pleɪ/ /raʊnd/ /hɛlp/ /juː/

Thirty-five.

Wait, I don't understand, people get married in Atlantic City all the time.

/weɪt/ /ˌʌn.dərˈstænd/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /ɔːl/ /taɪm/

Yes, they do, but they don't elope.

/ðeɪ/ /duː/ /bʌt/ /ðeɪ/

They choose Atlantic City for its white sand beaches,

/ðeɪ/ /tʃuːz/ /ˈsɪt.i/ /fɔːr/ /ɪts/

world-class amenities, and exotic Riviera feel.

/ænd/ /fiːl/

Have you been outside?

/hæv/ /juː/ /ˌaʊtˈsaɪd/

There is half an orca whale rotting not 20 feet from the cabana.

/ðɛr/ /ɪz/ /hæf/ /fiːt/

You guys, take it easy, guys.

/juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /teɪk/ /ɪt/ /ˈiː.zi/ /ɡaɪz/

Are you sure about this?

/juː/ /ʃʊr/ /əˈbaʊt/

About the marriage laws of the state where I work in a wedding chapel?

/əˈbaʊt/ /ˈmærɪdʒ/ /wɛr/ /wɜːrk/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

/ˈprɪti/ /ʃʊr/

Bright side: the bachelor party continues!

/braɪt/ /saɪd/ /ˈbætʃələr/ /ˈpɑːrti/

Yes! Yes !

Continues? You mean "start." He means "start."

/juː/ /miːn/ /stɑːrt/ /hiː/ /stɑːrt/

We went to a strip club.

/wiː/ /wɛnt/ /klʌb/

Twenty-seven.

Is there any way that we could get a license today?

/ɪz/ /ðɛr/ /ˈɛn.i/ /weɪ/ /ðæt/ /wiː/ /kʊd/ /ɡɛt/ /təˈdeɪ/

You could go to the courthouse.

/juː/ /kʊd/ /ɡoʊ/

In some extreme circumstances, the waiting period can be waived,

/sʌm/ /kæn/ /biː/

but you have to have a good reason.

/bʌt/ /juː/ /hæv/ /hæv/ /ɡʊd/ /ˈriːzən/

Well, we're in love.

/wɛl/ /lʌv/

What better reason could there be?

/wɒt/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /ˈriːzən/ /kʊd/ /ðɛr/ /biː/

The last one I heard was,

/læst/ /hɜːrd/ /wɒz/

"I'm going to Iraq tomorrow to defend my country,"

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /təˈmɒr.oʊ/ /maɪ/ /ˈkʌn.tri/

but, you know, give yours a whirl.

/bʌt/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /ɡɪv/ /jɔːrz/

So we went to the courthouse.

/wiː/ /wɛnt/

God, this is taking forever.

/ɪz/ /fərˈɛvər/

Can't believe they're getting married.

/bɪˈliːv/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ˈmærid/

I know.

/noʊ/

I am so proud of these two. After all they've been through.

/praʊd/ /ðiːz/ /tuː/ /ˈæf.tər/ /ɔːl/ /θruː/

In fact, that crazy road has led them

/fækt/ /ðæt/ /ˈkreɪzi/ /roʊd/ /hæz/ /ðɛm/

all the way here to Atlantic City.

/ɔːl/ /weɪ/ /hɪr/ /ˈsɪt.i/

Ted, up here.

/ʌp/ /hɪr/

You were just staring at my shirt boobs.

/juː/ /wɜːr/ /dʒʌst/ /maɪ/ /ʃɜːrt/

No! I wasn't.

/noʊ/

I-I was checking out the hot bod underneath the shirt.

/wɒz/ /aʊt/ /hɒt/ /ʃɜːrt/

Okay, look, maybe I was looking at your shirt,

/lʊk/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /wɒz/ /jʊr/ /ʃɜːrt/

but it's a, it's a funny, funny shirt.

/bʌt/ /ˈfʌn.i/ /ˈfʌn.i/ /ʃɜːrt/

Hey, it's Barney!

- Barney! - Hi. -- Barney! -- Hi.

...suit up.

/suːt/ /ʌp/

...legend.

/ˈlɛdʒənd/

...Daddy. ... Daddy

/ˈdædi/ /ˈdædi/

American daddy. America Daddy

/ˈdædi/ /ˈdædi/

What the hell was that?

/wɒt/ /wɒz/ /ðæt/

A... Chinese guy?

/ɡaɪ/

Hi. Hello. Uh, we need a marriage license,

/wiː/ /niːd/ /ˈmærɪdʒ/

but we need to skip the waiting period because...

/bʌt/ /wiː/ /niːd/ /skɪp/ /bɪˈkɔːz/

we're in love.

/lʌv/

Aw. I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now.

/raɪt/ /naʊ/

Oh, really?! Oh, Really

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/

Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period,

/ɪz/ /wɒt/ /wʊd/ /seɪ/ /ɪf/ /kʊd/

but unfortunately, only a judge can do that.

/bʌt/ /ˈoʊnli/ /dʒʌdʒ/ /kæn/ /duː/ /ðæt/

Oh. Well, so can we see a judge?

/wɛl/ /kæn/ /wiː/ /siː/ /dʒʌdʒ/

- Absolutely. - Really?!

/ˈæbsəluːtli/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/

Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today,

/ɪz/ /wɒt/ /wʊd/ /seɪ/ /ɪf/ /ðɛr/ /wɒz/ /ˈɛn.i/ /tʃæns/ /juː/ /dʒʌdʒ/ /təˈdeɪ/

which there isn't.

/wɪtʃ/ /ðɛr/

Why are you doing this to us?!

/waɪ/ /juː/ /ʌs/

'Cause you're on Candid Camera!

/kɔːz/ /ɒn/ /ˈkæmərə/

- Really?! - Is what I would say...

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ɪz/ /wɒt/ /wʊd/ /seɪ/

You know what? We get it.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /ɪt/

Okay, this is a good plan B.

/ɪz/ /ɡʊd/ /plæn/

Judges are people. People go to the batoom.

/ˈpiː.pəl/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /ɡoʊ/

A judge is bound to come by eventually,

/dʒʌdʒ/ /ɪz/ /kʌm/

and we'll get married.

/ænd/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/

I'm sure we won't be waiting long.

/ʃʊr/ /wiː/ /biː/ /lɔːŋ/

Geez, you go to a vending machine for 30 seconds.

/juː/ /ɡoʊ/ /məˈʃiːn/ /fɔːr/

Vultures.

What? What ?

/wɒt/ /wɒt/

Here?

/hɪr/

Yeah. Got a little time to kill.

/ˈlɪt.əl/ /taɪm/ /kɪl/

Oh, my God, it's the T-shirt, isn't it?

/maɪ/ /ɪt/

No. No

/noʊ/ /noʊ/

A little.

/ˈlɪt.əl/

Something is seriously wrong with you.

/ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /ɪz/ /ˈsɪəriəsli/ /rɒŋ/ /wɪð/ /juː/

So what, is that a no?

/wɒt/ /ɪz/ /ðæt/ /noʊ/

- All right, let's do it. - All right. -- All right, let's do it -- All right

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /duː/ /ɪt/ /ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /duː/ /ɪt/ /ɔːl/ /raɪt/

Um, also...?

/ˈɔːl.soʊ/

- Yes, I'll leave it on. - Sweet.

/liːv/ /ɪt/ /ɒn/ /swiːt/

Guys, let's bail. This is never gonna happen.

/ɡaɪz/ /ɪz/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /ˈhæpən/

Look, I know this is turning into a bit of a disaster,

/lʊk/ /noʊ/ /ɪz/ /dɪˈzæstər/

but believe me, it's better than the alternative.

/bʌt/ /bɪˈliːv/ /miː/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /ðæn/

You throwing a big, free party with lots of booze and food

/juː/ /bɪɡ/ /friː/ /ˈpɑːrti/ /wɪð/ /ænd/ /fuːd/

and all your single, desperate girlfriends from college?

/ænd/ /ɔːl/ /jʊr/ /ˈsɪŋɡəl/ /ˈkɒlɪdʒ/

Yeah, glad we dodged that bullet.

/ɡlæd/ /wiː/ /ðæt/

Judge! Judge, come on. Come on, come on, come on!

/dʒʌdʒ/ /dʒʌdʒ/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/

- Turn it off. - Okay.

/tɜːrn/ /ɪt/ /ɒf/

May we please get married today?

/meɪ/ /wiː/ /pliːz/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/ /təˈdeɪ/

Now, normally I would say no to a request like that,

/naʊ/ /ˈnɔːrməli/ /wʊd/ /seɪ/ /noʊ/ /rɪˈkwɛst/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/

but you two impress me.

/bʌt/ /juː/ /tuː/ /miː/

Just the fact that you've been together for ten years,

/dʒʌst/ /fækt/ /ðæt/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /fɔːr/ /tɛn/

standing by each other's side through thick and thin,

/iːtʃ/ /saɪd/ /θruː/ /θɪk/ /ænd/ /θɪn/

never wavering.

/ˈnɛv.ər/

- What was that? - What was what? -- What was that -- What was that

/wɒt/ /wɒz/ /ðæt/ /wɒt/ /wɒz/ /wɒt/ /wɒt/ /wɒz/ /ðæt/ /wɒt/ /wɒz/ /ðæt/

That little look. What was that?

/ðæt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /lʊk/ /wɒt/ /wɒz/ /ðæt/

A look of love.

/lʊk/ /lʌv/

You two have stood together through thick and thin, right?

/juː/ /tuː/ /hæv/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /θruː/ /θɪk/ /ænd/ /θɪn/ /raɪt/

- You know, what's thick, what's thin? - Yeah, I mean, all... yeah.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /θɪk/ /θɪn/ /miːn/ /ɔːl/

I have.

/hæv/

All right, what was that look?

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /wɒt/ /wɒz/ /ðæt/ /lʊk/

What's going on?

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ɒn/

They broke up over the summer.

/ðeɪ/ /ʌp/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /ˈsʌmər/

Lily totally ran off to San Francisco and these two just had sex in the closet.

/ˈtoʊtəli/ /ræn/ /ɒf/ /frænˈsɪskoʊ/ /ænd/ /ðiːz/ /tuː/ /dʒʌst/ /hæd/ /sɛks/

What? We're under oath.

/wɒt/ /ˈʌndər/

No, we're not.

/noʊ/

Yeah, we are. He's a judge.

/wiː/ /dʒʌdʒ/

Wh-- did we take an oath?

/dɪd/ /wiː/ /teɪk/

Do you even know what an oath is?

/duː/ /juː/ /ˈiːvən/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /ɪz/

Uh, yeah. Courthouse.

Oath. We're under it.

/ˈʌndər/ /ɪt/

Guys. It's looking like this isn't gonna happen.

/ɡaɪz/ /laɪk/ /ˈhæpən/

No, Marshall, we are gonna get married today.

/noʊ/ /wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/ /təˈdeɪ/

Baby, anyplace we go, we're gonna need a marriage license.

/ˈbeɪbi/ /wiː/ /ɡoʊ/ /niːd/ /ˈmærɪdʒ/

Except international waters.

/ɪkˈsɛpt/

So-so let's find a ship captain.

/faɪnd/ /ˈkæptɪn/

A ship captain can marry us.

/ˈkæptɪn/ /kæn/ /ˈmæri/ /ʌs/

There's boats all over this place.

/boʊts/ /ɔːl/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /pleɪs/

Oh, is that what those wooden things are floating between the garbage?

/ɪz/ /ðæt/ /wɒt/ /ðoʊz/ /ˈwʊdən/ /θɪŋz/ /bɪˈtwiːn/ /ˈɡɑːrbɪdʒ/

This is a great idea. This is gonna work. Let's go.

/ɪz/ /ɡreɪt/ /aɪˈdɪ.ə/ /ɪz/ /wɜːrk/ /ɡoʊ/

Excuse me. Are you a ship captain?

/ɪkˈskjuːz/ /miː/ /juː/ /ˈkæptɪn/

This is my machine.

/ɪz/ /maɪ/ /məˈʃiːn/

- I should go talk to her. - No, let me.

/ʃʊd/ /ɡoʊ/ /tɔːk/ /hɜːr/ /noʊ/ /lɛt/ /miː/

- Blackjack? - Yeah. -- Blackjack? -- Yeah

Well, I found a guy who said he'd be willing to put his boat in my slip,

/wɛl/ /ɡaɪ/ /huː/ /sɛd/ /biː/ /pʊt/ /hɪz/ /boʊt/ /maɪ/

so we're getting closer.

/ˈɡɛtɪŋ/

Okay, Lil, why is it so important to do this today?

/waɪ/ /ɪz/ /ɪt/ /ɪmˈpɔːr.tənt/ /duː/ /təˈdeɪ/

Because... if we don't do it today,

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /ɪf/ /wiː/ /duː/ /ɪt/ /təˈdeɪ/

I just know we're gonna wind up having a huge wedding

/dʒʌst/ /noʊ/ /wɪnd/ /ʌp/ /ˈhævɪŋ/ /hjuːdʒ/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/

with a huge crowd full of huge Midwestern people

/wɪð/ /hjuːdʒ/ /fʊl/ /hjuːdʒ/ /ˈpiː.pəl/

looking all disapproving and judging me

/ɔːl/ /ænd/ /miː/

while sipping little cups of mayonnaise

/waɪl/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

and-and cracking runaway bride jokes all night long.

/braɪd/ /dʒoʊks/ /ɔːl/ /naɪt/ /lɔːŋ/

- Nobody's gonna do that. - No, they're not

/duː/ /ðæt/ /noʊ/

because I'm not gonna give them the chance.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /ɡɪv/ /ðɛm/ /tʃæns/

I'm gonna find a ship captain and we're gonna be married tonight.

/faɪnd/ /ˈkæptɪn/ /ænd/ /biː/ /ˈmærid/ /təˈnaɪt/

Sweetie, this is crazy. Sweetie, this is crazy

/ˈswiːti/ /ɪz/ /ˈkreɪzi/ /ˈswiːti/ /ɪz/ /ˈkreɪzi/

You're never gonna find a ship capt...

/ˈnɛv.ər/ /faɪnd/

Hey, Lily. Found a ship captain.

/ˈkæptɪn/

- What? - Yeah. What Yeah

/wɒt/ /wɒt/

First guy we talked to. Ship captain.

/fɜːrst/ /ɡaɪ/ /wiː/ /ˈkæptɪn/

How great is that?

/haʊ/ /ɡreɪt/ /ɪz/ /ðæt/

See? See, this is destiny.

/siː/ /siː/ /ɪz/

So, captain, can you take us out to international waters and marry us?

/ˈkæptɪn/ /kæn/ /juː/ /teɪk/ /ʌs/ /aʊt/ /ænd/ /ˈmæri/ /ʌs/

I sure can.

/ʃʊr/ /kæn/

If there's two things I love, it's bringing people together in marriage

/ɪf/ /tuː/ /θɪŋz/ /lʌv/ /ˈbrɪŋɪŋ/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /ˈmærɪdʒ/

- and making $5,000. - What?

/ænd/ /wɒt/

Deal. $5,000, okay, we can do that. Come on, everybody.

/diːl/ /wiː/ /kæn/ /duː/ /ðæt/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/ /ˈɛv.ri.bɒd.i/

Fork over your cash. Don't think. Just do it.

/fɔːrk/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /jʊr/ /θɪŋk/ /dʒʌst/ /duː/ /ɪt/

I can get us that money.

/kæn/ /ɡɛt/ /ʌs/ /ðæt/ /ˈmʌn.i/

How? How ?

/haʊ/ /haʊ/

Have you noticed that all day today

/hæv/ /juː/ /ðæt/ /ɔːl/ /deɪ/ /təˈdeɪ/

Chinese guys have been coming up and saying hi to me?

/ɡaɪz/ /hæv/ /ʌp/ /ænd/ /miː/

Yes. Have you noticed I haven't asked about it

/hæv/ /juː/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ɪt/

because I'm too scared of the answer?

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /skɛrd/ /ˈæn.sər/

Well, those are my old gambling buddies.

/wɛl/ /ðoʊz/ /maɪ/ /oʊld/

Truth is... I used to come here all the time.

/truːθ/ /ɪz/ /kʌm/ /hɪr/ /ɔːl/ /taɪm/

Play an old Chinese game called "Shing Hasabu Shing".

/pleɪ/ /oʊld/ /ɡeɪm/

Had a small gambling problem.

/hæd/ /smɔːl/ /ˈprɒbləm/

Actually, it wasn't so small. I...

/ˈæktʃuəli/ /ɪt/ /smɔːl/

kind of lost my entire life's savings.

/kaɪnd/ /lɒst/ /maɪ/ /ɪnˈtaɪər/

But tonight, I don't know, I'm feeling hot.

/bʌt/ /təˈnaɪt/ /noʊ/ /ˈfiːlɪŋ/ /hɒt/

I think I can win us that money.

/θɪŋk/ /kæn/ /wɪn/ /ʌs/ /ðæt/ /ˈmʌn.i/

No, we're not letting you gamble all our money away.

/noʊ/ /juː/ /ɔːl/ /aʊər/ /ˈmʌn.i/ /əˈweɪ/

Uh, it's not gambling if you absolutely know you're going to win.

/ɪf/ /juː/ /ˈæbsəluːtli/ /noʊ/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /wɪn/

I'll get us that money.

/ɡɛt/ /ʌs/ /ðæt/ /ˈmʌn.i/

I swear it, nay...

/swɛər/ /ɪt/

I oath it.

/ɪt/

Now, I had been to a lot of casinos before that night,

/naʊ/ /hæd/ /lɒt/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /ðæt/ /naɪt/

and I've been to a lot of casinos since,

/ænd/ /lɒt/ /sɪns/

but in all that time I've never seen a game quite like this one.

/bʌt/ /ɔːl/ /ðæt/ /taɪm/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /ɡeɪm/ /kwaɪt/ /laɪk/

To this day, I have no idea how it was played.

/deɪ/ /hæv/ /noʊ/ /aɪˈdɪ.ə/ /haʊ/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/

But luckily, Barney did.

/bʌt/ /dɪd/

Do you understand what's happening?

/duː/ /juː/ /ˌʌn.dərˈstænd/ /ˈhæpənɪŋ/

Not a clue.

Do you think he's winning?

/duː/ /juː/ /θɪŋk/ /ˈwɪnɪŋ/

I don't even know if he's playing.

/ˈiːvən/ /noʊ/ /ɪf/ /ˈpleɪɪŋ/

Wait, I get it. I understand this game.

/weɪt/ /ɡɛt/ /ɪt/ /ˌʌn.dərˈstænd/ /ɡeɪm/

No, you don't.

/noʊ/ /juː/

I totally understand the game, Theodore.

/ˈtoʊtəli/ /ˌʌn.dərˈstænd/ /ɡeɪm/

Barney, split your tiles. You can triple your money if you find the jellybean.

/splɪt/ /jʊr/ /juː/ /kæn/ /jʊr/ /ˈmʌn.i/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /faɪnd/

Marshall, please. Don't you think I know what I'm...

/pliːz/ /juː/ /θɪŋk/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/

My God, you're right.

/maɪ/ /raɪt/

Wow. It's beautiful.

/ˈbjuː.tɪ.fəl/

Thanks, Barney.

Did you guys see me? I was on fire tonight.

/dɪd/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /siː/ /miː/ /wɒz/ /ɒn/ /faɪər/ /təˈnaɪt/

Man, I can't wait to get back to the shore.

/mæn/ /weɪt/ /ɡɛt/ /bæk/

God, I love gambling!

/lʌv/

When we get home, we're gonna go to a little meeting. Okay?

/wɛn/ /wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /hoʊm/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /ˈmiːtɪŋ/

Why can't I do it just a little?

/waɪ/ /duː/ /ɪt/ /dʒʌst/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

Okay.

Let's get this started.

/ɡɛt/

Okay, uh... Okay, um ...

you guys want the serious one or the funny one?

/juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /wɒnt/ /ˈsɪəriəs/ /ˈfʌn.i/

Oh, I think... serious would be best.

/θɪŋk/ /ˈsɪəriəs/ /wʊd/ /biː/ /bɛst/

You sure? I got a lot of great nautical jokes in there.

/juː/ /ʃʊr/ /lɒt/ /ɡreɪt/ /dʒoʊks/ /ðɛr/

Like how you two float each other's boat, stuff like that.

/laɪk/ /haʊ/ /juː/ /tuː/ /iːtʃ/ /boʊt/ /stʌf/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/

Yeah, serious is probably good.

/ˈsɪəriəs/ /ɪz/ /ˈprɒbəbli/ /ɡʊd/

"We stand witness today

/wiː/ /stænd/ /ˈwɪtnɪs/ /təˈdeɪ/

"to celebrate the union of Lily and Marshall.

/ˈsɛlɪbreɪt/ /ænd/

"Today, you two will become one,

/təˈdeɪ/ /juː/ /tuː/ /wɪl/ /bɪˈkʌm/

"sharing your lives,

/jʊr/

"the happiness, the sadness,

"the frustrations and the joy..."

/ænd/

This is pretty cool.

/ɪz/ /ˈprɪti/ /kuːl/

I can't believe you never want to get married.

/bɪˈliːv/ /juː/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /wɒnt/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈmærid/

I never said "never."

/ˈnɛv.ər/ /sɛd/ /ˈnɛv.ər/

"...to declare your love

/jʊr/ /lʌv/

"and devotion to each other

/ænd/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/

"in front of friends and family,

/frɛndz/ /ænd/ /ˈfæm.ɪ.li/

"all the people who matter most to you."

/ɔːl/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /huː/ /ˈmætər/ /moʊst/ /juː/

What was that?

/wɒt/ /wɒz/ /ðæt/

What was what?

/wɒt/ /wɒz/ /wɒt/

That little look. You two just shared a look.

/ðæt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /lʊk/ /juː/ /tuː/ /dʒʌst/ /lʊk/

- We don't want to do this. - We don't.

/wiː/ /wɒnt/ /duː/ /wiː/

Are you kidding me?

/juː/ /ˈkɪdɪŋ/ /miː/

You guys are calling off another wedding?

/juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /ˈkɔːlɪŋ/ /ɒf/ /əˈnʌðər/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/

After I spent all this money on a bridesmaid shirt?

/ˈæf.tər/ /ɔːl/ /ˈmʌn.i/ /ɒn/ /ʃɜːrt/

Did I bet someone that they'd call it off? I did, didn't I? Who'd I bet?

/dɪd/ /bɛt/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /ðæt/ /kɔːl/ /ɪt/ /ɒf/ /dɪd/ /bɛt/

You actually expect any of us are gonna come to your third wedding?

/juː/ /ˈæktʃuəli/ /ɪkˈspɛkt/ /ˈɛn.i/ /ʌs/ /kʌm/ /jʊr/ /ˈwɛdɪŋ/

Yes. Yes

'Cause it's gonna be amazing.

/kɔːz/ /biː/ /əˈmeɪzɪŋ/

Look, before I was afraid to face Marshall's family

/lʊk/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /wɒz/ /əˈfreɪd/ /feɪs/ /ˈfæm.ɪ.li/

and-and I didn't want to do all that work, but...

/wɒnt/ /duː/ /ɔːl/ /ðæt/ /wɜːrk/ /bʌt/

now that we're here...

/naʊ/ /ðæt/ /hɪr/

I realize that I have to face Marshall's family

/ðæt/ /hæv/ /feɪs/ /ˈfæm.ɪ.li/

and I really want to do all that work.

/ænd/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /wɒnt/ /duː/ /ɔːl/ /ðæt/ /wɜːrk/

So do I.

/duː/

And yeah... my family might still be upset with you.

/ænd/ /maɪ/ /ˈfæm.ɪ.li/ /maɪt/ /biː/ /ʌpˈsɛt/ /wɪð/ /juː/

But when they see us up there, they're gonna see how much we love each other

/bʌt/ /wɛn/ /ðeɪ/ /siː/ /ʌs/ /ʌp/ /ðɛr/ /siː/ /haʊ/ /mʌtʃ/ /wiː/ /lʌv/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/

and none of that other stuff is gonna matter.

/ænd/ /nʌn/ /ðæt/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /stʌf/ /ɪz/ /ˈmætər/

- I love you, Marshall. - I love you, too, Lily pad.

/lʌv/ /juː/ /lʌv/ /juː/ /pæd/

I now pronounce you man and wife.

/naʊ/ /juː/ /mæn/ /ænd/ /waɪf/

- What?! - What?! What What

/wɒt/ /wɒt/ /wɒt/ /wɒt/

What, is that not right?

/wɒt/ /ɪz/ /ðæt/ /raɪt/

Are... we married? Did you just marry us?

/wiː/ /ˈmærid/ /dɪd/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /ˈmæri/ /ʌs/

Weren't you listening? We don't want to be married.

/juː/ /ˈlɪsənɪŋ/ /wiː/ /wɒnt/ /biː/ /ˈmærid/

Uh... I-I suppose I could unpronounce you.

/kʊd/ /juː/

- Unpronounce us. - Unpronounce us!

/ʌs/ /ʌs/

All right, I unpronounce you man and wife.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /juː/ /mæn/ /ænd/ /waɪf/

Oh, whew... that was close.

/ðæt/ /wɒz/ /kloʊs/

And that's the story of how Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily

/ænd/ /ˈstɔːri/ /haʊ/ /ˈʌŋkəl/ /ænd/ /ænt/

got married for 12 seconds

/ˈmærid/ /fɔːr/

somewhere off the coast of Atlantic City.

/ˈsʌmwɛr/ /ɒf/ /koʊst/ /ˈsɪt.i/

- Hey, guys. - Hey.

/ɡaɪz/

Ted. Ted

Is Robin here?

/ɪz/ /hɪr/

Man, I hope so.

/mæn/ /hoʊp/