Season 3 · Tập 13

Kids, sometimes in life you see someone and you just instantly know

/kɪdz/ /ˈsʌm.taɪmz/ /laɪf/ /juː/ /siː/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /ænd/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /noʊ/

this is the person for you.

/ɪz/ /ˈpɜːrsən/ /fɔːr/ /juː/

It can happen anywhere.

/ɪt/ /kæn/ /ˈhæpən/ /ˈɛniˌwɛr/

Even the waiting room of a tattoo removal clinic.

/ˈiːvən/ /ruːm/ /ˈklɪnɪk/

And that's what happened when I met...

/ænd/ /wɒt/ /ˈhæpənd/ /wɛn/

...Stella. ...Stella.

Ah, the butterfly tramp stamp.

My bread and butter.

/maɪ/ /brɛd/ /ænd/ /ˈbʌtər/

So I'm guessing that the real story involves a bad breakup and some booze.

/ðæt/ /riːl/ /ˈstɔːri/ /bæd/ /ˈbreɪkʌp/ /ænd/ /sʌm/

Unless it's a gang tattoo, in which case,

/ənˈlɛs/ /ɡæŋ/ /wɪtʃ/

I think it's time to find a new gang.

/θɪŋk/ /taɪm/ /faɪnd/ /njuː/ /ɡæŋ/

No, I just thought it would be cool to get a caterpillar tattoo,

/noʊ/ /dʒʌst/ /θɔːt/ /ɪt/ /wʊd/ /biː/ /kuːl/ /ɡɛt/

and then a few weeks went by, and all of a sudden...

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /fjuː/ /wɛnt/ /ænd/ /ɔːl/

Well, I can get rid of it in ten one-hour sessions,

/wɛl/ /kæn/ /ɡɛt/ /ɪt/ /tɛn/

but, I should warn you, laser surgery's very painful.

/bʌt/ /ʃʊd/ /wɔːrn/ /juː/ /ˈleɪzər/ /ˈvɛr.i/ /ˈpeɪnfəl/

Well, I think you'll find I have a very high tolerance for pain.

/wɛl/ /θɪŋk/ /faɪnd/ /hæv/ /ˈvɛr.i/ /haɪ/ /fɔːr/ /peɪn/

Just last night, I sat through the worst movie ever made.

/dʒʌst/ /læst/ /naɪt/ /sæt/ /θruː/ /wɜːrst/ /ˈmuːvi/ /ˈɛv.ər/

- Oh, Plan 9 From Outer Space? - No, the worst movie...

/plæn/ /speɪs/ /noʊ/ /wɜːrst/ /ˈmuːvi/

Manos: Hands of Fate. Manos: Hands of Fate.

/hændz/ /hændz/

Uh, I'm a doctor, went to medical school. It's Plan 9.

/ˈdɒktər/ /wɛnt/ /ˈmɛdɪkl/ /skuːl/ /plæn/

If you don't believe me, it's playing down at the Pamela Theater.

/ɪf/ /juː/ /bɪˈliːv/ /miː/ /ˈpleɪɪŋ/ /daʊn/

I don't believe you, Doctor.

/bɪˈliːv/ /juː/ /ˈdɒktər/

Well, what are you doing tonight?

/wɛl/ /wɒt/ /juː/ /təˈnaɪt/

Hello.

- Hey, Ted. - Hey.

Hey, put that away. Tonight's on me.

/pʊt/ /ðæt/ /əˈweɪ/ /ɒn/ /miː/

- Oh, no, no, don't... - Come on, I insist.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/

That's so nice. Thank you.

/naɪs/ /juː/

Hey, guys, this is my friend Ted. He wants to pay.

/ɡaɪz/ /ɪz/ /maɪ/ /frɛnd/ /hiː/ /peɪ/

- Thank you. - One, two, three, four.

/juː/ /tuː/ /θriː/

Is something wrong?

/ɪz/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /rɒŋ/

No, it's just, um...

/noʊ/ /dʒʌst/

I'm just a little embarrassed. I thought this was a date.

/dʒʌst/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /ɪmˈbærəst/ /θɔːt/ /wɒz/ /deɪt/

But it's no big deal. Don't worry about it.

/bʌt/ /noʊ/ /bɪɡ/ /diːl/ /ˈwʌri/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ɪt/

What's wrong?

/rɒŋ/

Ted's embarrassed, he thought this was a date.

/ɪmˈbærəst/ /hiː/ /θɔːt/ /wɒz/ /deɪt/

Ted thought this was a date.

/θɔːt/ /wɒz/ /deɪt/

Stella, did you know Ted thought this was a date?

/dɪd/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /θɔːt/ /wɒz/ /deɪt/

What? I'm not allowed to date a patient. It's an AMA rule.

/wɒt/ /deɪt/ /ˈpeɪʃənt/ /ruːl/

She's not allowed to date patients. It's an AMA rule.

/deɪt/ /ruːl/

She's not allowed to date patients. It's an AMA rule.

/deɪt/ /ruːl/

- She's not allowed to date... - Yeah, I got it.

/deɪt/ /ɪt/

We all got it. Ted's a schmuck.

/wiː/ /ɔːl/ /ɪt/

How I Met Your Mother 3x13 - Ten Sessions - How I Met Your Mother 3x13 - Ten Sessions -

/haʊ/ /jʊr/ /ˈmʌð.ər/ /tɛn/ /haʊ/ /jʊr/ /ˈmʌð.ər/ /tɛn/

And you bought all the tickets.

/ænd/ /juː/ /bɔːt/ /ɔːl/ /ˈtɪkɪts/

Yeah, yeah. Hey, you were right.

/juː/ /wɜːr/ /raɪt/

Worst movie-going experience ever.

/wɜːrst/ /ɪkˈspɪəriəns/ /ˈɛv.ər/

Of course, it had nothing to do with the movie.

/kɔːrs/ /ɪt/ /hæd/ /ˈnʌθ.ɪŋ/ /duː/ /wɪð/ /ˈmuːvi/

I am so sorry that you thought that was a date.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /θɔːt/ /ðæt/ /wɒz/ /deɪt/

No, it's fine. I got to hang out with you on girls' night out.

/noʊ/ /faɪn/ /aʊt/ /wɪð/ /juː/ /ɒn/ /ɡɜːrlz/ /naɪt/ /aʊt/

All right, so if you're not allowed to date a patient, I'll just...

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /ɪf/ /deɪt/ /ˈpeɪʃənt/ /dʒʌst/

I'll wait until these ten session are up and then I'll ask you out then.

/weɪt/ /ənˈtɪl/ /ðiːz/ /tɛn/ /ʌp/ /ænd/ /ðɛn/ /æsk/ /juː/ /aʊt/ /ðɛn/

Well, then, fair warning:

/wɛl/ /ðɛn/ /fɛr/

I'm going to say no.

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /seɪ/ /noʊ/

Really? I'm getting mixed signals from you.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /juː/

I feel like you've been staring at my ass for quite some time.

/fiːl/ /laɪk/ /maɪ/ /fɔːr/ /kwaɪt/ /sʌm/ /taɪm/

- What, you're married? - No.

/wɒt/ /ˈmærid/ /noʊ/

- Boyfriend? - No.

/ˈbɔɪfrɛnd/ /noʊ/

- Lesbian? - No.

/noʊ/

- Only date black guys? - No.

/ˈoʊnli/ /deɪt/ /blæk/ /ɡaɪz/ /noʊ/

And yet you can say with absolute confidence

/ænd/ /jɛt/ /juː/ /kæn/ /seɪ/ /wɪð/

that ten weeks from now, if I ask you out on a date, your answer will be...

/ðæt/ /tɛn/ /naʊ/ /ɪf/ /æsk/ /juː/ /aʊt/ /ɒn/ /deɪt/ /jʊr/ /ˈæn.sər/ /wɪl/ /biː/

No.

/noʊ/

No... Hmm.

/noʊ/

What could she mean when she says no?

/wɒt/ /kʊd/ /ʃiː/ /miːn/ /wɛn/ /ʃiː/ /noʊ/

I don't know, it is totally cryptic.

/noʊ/ /ɪt/ /ɪz/ /ˈtoʊtəli/

This is far from over.

/ɪz/ /fɑːr/ /ˈoʊ.vər/

We're talking ten weeks from now.

/tɛn/ /naʊ/

Who knows what she'll want then?

/huː/ /wɒt/ /wɒnt/ /ðɛn/

Do you know what you're going to want for lunch ten weeks from now?

/duː/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /wɒnt/ /fɔːr/ /lʌntʃ/ /tɛn/ /naʊ/

Sloppy Joe, shrimp cocktail and a milk shake.

/ænd/ /mɪlk/

Ted, do you know how long it takes a woman

/duː/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /haʊ/ /lɔːŋ/ /ɪt/ /ˈwʊm.ən/

to decide whether or not she's going to sleep with a guy?

/dɪˈsaɪd/ /ˈwɛðər/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /sliːp/ /wɪð/ /ɡaɪ/

8.3 seconds.

After that, her decision is made. She will not change her mind.

/ˈæf.tər/ /ðæt/ /hɜːr/ /dɪˈsɪʒ.ən/ /ɪz/ /ʃiː/ /wɪl/ /tʃeɪndʒ/ /hɜːr/ /maɪnd/

- That's ridiculous. - Is it?

/ɪz/ /ɪt/

Describe your first 8.3 seconds with Stella.

/dɪˈskraɪb/ /jʊr/ /fɜːrst/ /wɪð/

Lower back butterfly tattoo, you're up.

/bæk/ /ʌp/

So we got off to a rocky start.

/wiː/ /ɒf/ /stɑːrt/

That may be a problem for some guys,

/ðæt/ /meɪ/ /biː/ /ˈprɒbləm/ /fɔːr/ /sʌm/ /ɡaɪz/

but I get better over time.

/bʌt/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /taɪm/

I'm not some Top 40 song...

/sʌm/ /tɒp/ /sɒŋ/

easily digestible.

/ˈiː.zɪ.li/

I'm complex. I require...

/rɪˈkwaɪər/

time and multiple listens.

/taɪm/ /ænd/

I'm "Stairway to Heaven."

Wow, Roger Daltrey just rolled over in his grave.

/dʒʌst/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /hɪz/

That's not the right guy, is it?

/raɪt/ /ɡaɪ/ /ɪz/ /ɪt/

He's not even dead, is he?

/ˈiːvən/ /dɛd/ /ɪz/ /hiː/

I think that's great, Ted.

/θɪŋk/ /ɡreɪt/

You can do whatever you set your mind to.

/juː/ /kæn/ /duː/ /juː/ /sɛt/ /jʊr/ /maɪnd/

In fact, you've inspired me.

/fækt/ /miː/

I'm going to stop biting my nails.

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /stɒp/ /maɪ/

- But, baby, you love biting your nails. - I know, but I'm doing this for Ted.

/bʌt/ /ˈbeɪbi/ /juː/ /lʌv/ /jʊr/ /noʊ/ /bʌt/ /fɔːr/

God, this is really hard.

/ɪz/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /hɑːrd/

Give me ten sessions,

/ɡɪv/ /miː/ /tɛn/

I'm going to turn that "no" into a "yes."

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /tɜːrn/ /ðæt/ /noʊ/

Really, Ted? You think so?

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /juː/ /θɪŋk/

Well, tell me, how did the rest of that session go?

/wɛl/ /tɛl/ /miː/ /haʊ/ /dɪd/ /rɛst/ /ðæt/ /ɡoʊ/

This is going to hurt a little.

/ɪz/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /hɜːrt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

Yeah, well, I can handle pain.

/wɛl/ /kæn/ /ˈhændl/ /peɪn/

This one time I was playing tennis, and...

/taɪm/ /wɒz/ /ˈpleɪɪŋ/ /ænd/

Yeah, but tattoo removal really hurts.

/bʌt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /hɜːrts/

Everyone probably sounds like that.

/ˈɛv.ri.wʌn/ /ˈprɒbəbli/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/

Doctor, are you all right? I heard a woman screaming in here.

/ˈdɒktər/ /juː/ /ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /hɜːrd/ /ˈwʊm.ən/ /ˈskriːmɪŋ/ /hɪr/

Here's to nine more great sessions.

/mɔːr/ /ɡreɪt/

And so the weeks went by.

/ænd/ /wɛnt/

The second session I told her about

/ˈsɛk.ənd/ /toʊld/ /hɜːr/ /əˈbaʊt/

how I spent a summer working with inner-city kids.

/haʊ/ /ˈsʌmər/ /ˈwɜːrkɪŋ/ /wɪð/ /kɪdz/

The third session we both spoke nothing but French.

/wiː/ /boʊθ/ /ˈnʌθ.ɪŋ/ /bʌt/

The fourth session I made her laugh so hard she fell out of her chair.

/hɜːr/ /læf/ /hɑːrd/ /ʃiː/ /aʊt/ /hɜːr/ /tʃɛr/

So by the time the fifth session came around...

/taɪm/ /əˈraʊnd/

Still no.

/noʊ/

Still no.

/noʊ/

What's up with that? I mean, I juggled.

/ʌp/ /wɪð/ /ðæt/ /miːn/

You juggled?

/juː/

I thought you were trying to impress her.

/θɔːt/ /juː/ /wɜːr/ /hɜːr/

You do magic.

/juː/ /duː/ /ˈmædʒɪk/

How is juggling any lamer than magic?

/haʊ/ /ɪz/ /ˈɛn.i/ /ðæn/ /ˈmædʒɪk/

Magic's not lame.

- I don't get it. I mean... - Is this lame?

/ɡɛt/ /ɪt/ /miːn/ /ɪz/

- Uhh.. - Barney, no, no..

/noʊ/ /noʊ/

We said no fireballs at the table.

/wiː/ /sɛd/ /noʊ/ /ˈteɪ.bəl/

What the hell is wrong with you?

/wɒt/ /ɪz/ /rɒŋ/ /wɪð/ /juː/

There's alcohol in here.

/hɪr/

- Barney... - I...

We've talked about this.

/əˈbaʊt/

- It's a fire code violation. - Yeah, but Ted provoked me.

/faɪər/ /koʊd/ /bʌt/ /miː/

No, you are on a time-out. Go sit over there.

/noʊ/ /juː/ /ɒn/ /ɡoʊ/ /sɪt/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /ðɛr/

- But... - Go!

/bʌt/ /ɡoʊ/

Anyway... I don't get it.

/ˈɛniweɪ/ /ɡɛt/ /ɪt/

She should be into me by now.

/ʃiː/ /ʃʊd/ /biː/ /miː/ /naʊ/

You know, you can do this, Ted.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /kæn/ /duː/

I said that I would stop biting my nails, and kablam-ey.

/sɛd/ /ðæt/ /wʊd/ /stɒp/ /maɪ/ /ænd/

It's just a challenge.

/dʒʌst/ /ˈtʃælɪndʒ/

It can't be easy to woo someone while

/ɪt/ /biː/ /ˈiː.zi/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /waɪl/

you're sticking your naked butt in their face.

/jʊr/ /bʌt/ /ðɛr/ /feɪs/

Works for baboons.

/wɜːrks/ /fɔːr/

It's called "presenting."

I got four sessions left.

/lɛft/

There's got to be an angle I'm not seeing.

/biː/

You can't turn a "no" into a "yes," Ted. Can't be done.

/juː/ /tɜːrn/ /noʊ/ /biː/ /dʌn/

I don't know, Barney. I mean, sometimes persistence pays off.

/noʊ/ /miːn/ /ˈsʌm.taɪmz/ /ɒf/

- I said "yes" eventually. - No, you didn't.

/sɛd/ /noʊ/ /juː/

You were like, "No, we can't,

/juː/ /wɜːr/ /laɪk/ /noʊ/ /wiː/

we're friends. It would mess up the dynamic

/frɛndz/ /ɪt/ /wʊd/ /mɛs/ /ʌp/ /daɪˈnæm.ɪk/

- of the group." - To Ted.

/ɡruːp/

Oh, right.

/raɪt/

Wait a second. Wait a second, I got the angle.

/weɪt/ /ˈsɛk.ənd/ /weɪt/ /ˈsɛk.ənd/

Sir, please don't yell at me,

/sɜːr/ /pliːz/ /miː/

because when people yell at me, I have a tendency to start crying.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /wɛn/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /miː/ /hæv/ /stɑːrt/ /ˈkraɪɪŋ/

Please don't do it.

/pliːz/ /duː/ /ɪt/

Abby, I've told you before.

/toʊld/ /juː/ /bɪˈfɔːr/

When they're rude to you, hang up the phone.

/wɛn/ /ruːd/ /juː/ /ʌp/ /foʊn/

Go on, you can do this, hang up.

/ɡoʊ/ /ɒn/ /juː/ /kæn/ /duː/ /ʌp/

Abby, hang it up.

/ɪt/ /ʌp/

I am too busy to waste my time...

/ˈbɪzi/ /weɪst/ /maɪ/ /taɪm/

I'm sorry, I just wish that some of the patients would be nicer to you.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /dʒʌst/ /wɪʃ/ /ðæt/ /sʌm/ /wʊd/ /biː/ /juː/

The receptionist. That's my way in.

/maɪ/ /weɪ/

I like this.

/laɪk/

Seduce the receptionist. That's a great plan.

/ɡreɪt/ /plæn/

That's not the plan.

/plæn/

And how would that help me with Stella?

/ænd/ /haʊ/ /wʊd/ /ðæt/ /hɛlp/ /miː/ /wɪð/

Who? Ai?

/huː/

Here's the plan.

/plæn/

Hi. Here.

/hɪr/

I stopped...

Hi, I stopped for coffee and I...

/fɔːr/ /ˈkɔː.fi/ /ænd/

and I thought I'd grab you something.

/ænd/ /θɔːt/ /ɡræb/ /juː/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/

Oh, wow, thank you, that's so nice.

/juː/ /naɪs/

You're like a knight.

/laɪk/

I should call you Sir Ted.

/ʃʊd/ /kɔːl/ /juː/ /sɜːr/

What?

/wɒt/

Nothing. Nothing. It's really stupid.

/ˈnʌθ.ɪŋ/ /ˈnʌθ.ɪŋ/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈstjuːpɪd/

Um, Dr. Zinman, Ted's here.

/hɪr/

Thanks. Thanks, Abby.

And now we wait.

/ænd/ /naʊ/ /wiː/ /weɪt/

And sure enough, by session seven,

/ænd/ /ʃʊr/ /ɪˈnʌf/ /ˈsɛvən/

she saw me in a whole new light.

/ʃiː/ /sɔː/ /miː/ /hoʊl/ /njuː/ /laɪt/

Okay, I'm about to break my big rule here.

/əˈbaʊt/ /breɪk/ /maɪ/ /bɪɡ/ /ruːl/ /hɪr/

Break it.

/breɪk/ /ɪt/

Abby goes bowling with her church group

/ɡoʊz/ /ˈboʊlɪŋ/ /wɪð/ /hɜːr/ /tʃɜːrtʃ/ /ɡruːp/

every Wednesday night...

/ˈɛv.ri/ /naɪt/

and she really wanted to invite you, but she's too shy.

/ænd/ /ʃiː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ɪnˈvaɪt/ /juː/ /bʌt/ /ʃaɪ/

Abby is...?

/ɪz/

My receptionist.

/maɪ/

You really made quite an impression on her with the coffee the other day.

/juː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /kwaɪt/ /ɒn/ /hɜːr/ /wɪð/ /ˈkɔː.fi/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /deɪ/

I mean, she has really not stopped talking about you.

/miːn/ /ʃiː/ /hæz/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /əˈbaʊt/ /juː/

Oh, Abby.

I thought you said "Alan."

/θɔːt/ /juː/ /sɛd/

But you just said, "Abby is...?"

/bʌt/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /sɛd/ /ɪz/

Right.

/raɪt/

Right, I thought I said "Alan."

/raɪt/ /θɔːt/ /sɛd/

Who's Alan?

Who's Abby?

My receptionist.

/maɪ/

Exactly.

/ɪɡˈzæktli/

What is happening?

/wɒt/ /ɪz/ /ˈhæpənɪŋ/

You just got to be yourself, no more gimmicks.

/juː/ /dʒʌst/ /biː/ /jɔːrˈsɛlf/ /noʊ/ /mɔːr/

You're right, no more gimmicks.

/raɪt/ /noʊ/ /mɔːr/

One more gimmick.

/mɔːr/

You know what's on her shelf?

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ɒn/ /hɜːr/ /ʃɛlf/

That self-help book The Power of Me.

/ðæt/ /bʊk/ /ˈpaʊər/ /miː/

I know, I know, but I thought if I read it,

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /bʌt/ /θɔːt/ /ɪf/ /riːd/ /ɪt/

maybe we'd have something new to talk about.

/ˈmeɪbi/ /hæv/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /njuː/ /tɔːk/ /əˈbaʊt/

It's actually a great book. It taught me the power of complete memory.

/ˈæktʃuəli/ /ɡreɪt/ /bʊk/ /ɪt/ /tɔːt/ /miː/ /ˈpaʊər/ /kəmˈpliːt/ /ˈmɛməri/

Can I borrow your copy?

/kæn/ /jʊr/ /ˈkɒpi/

I left it somewhere. I forget.

/lɛft/ /ɪt/ /ˈsʌmwɛr/ /fərˈɡɛt/

Hi. Ted Mosby for Dr. Zinman.

/fɔːr/

Hi, Ted.

I'll let her know.

/lɛt/ /hɜːr/ /noʊ/

Telepathically?

That's funny. That's funny, smart, and great.

/ˈfʌn.i/ /ˈfʌn.i/ /smɑːrt/ /ænd/ /ɡreɪt/

I am so sorry that I am late.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /ðæt/ /leɪt/

I have, like, two minutes for lunch everyday. It's crazy.

/hæv/ /laɪk/ /tuː/ /fɔːr/ /lʌntʃ/ /ˈkreɪzi/

Yeah, I understand. I was just, uh, checking out the old bookshelf here.

/ˌʌn.dərˈstænd/ /wɒz/ /dʒʌst/ /aʊt/ /oʊld/ /hɪr/

I see you've read The Power of Me. It's funny...

/siː/ /riːd/ /ˈpaʊər/ /miː/ /ˈfʌn.i/

What? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no,

/wɒt/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/

I would never read that piece of crap.

/wʊd/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /riːd/ /ðæt/ /piːs/

Some patient left it here.

/sʌm/ /ˈpeɪʃənt/ /lɛft/ /ɪt/ /hɪr/

Oh, thank God. I couldn't agree more.

/əˈɡriː/ /mɔːr/

That's total crap.

I see people reading that on the subway and I just want to shout,

/siː/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /ˈriː.dɪŋ/ /ðæt/ /ɒn/ /ˈsʌbweɪ/ /ænd/ /dʒʌst/ /wɒnt/

"Get a life, people!"

/ɡɛt/ /laɪf/ /ˈpiː.pəl/

- Ted, I found your book. - What?

/jʊr/ /bʊk/ /wɒt/

Your book The Power of Me. I think you accidentally dropped it in the garbage.

/jʊr/ /bʊk/ /ˈpaʊər/ /miː/ /θɪŋk/ /juː/ /ɪt/ /ˈɡɑːrbɪdʒ/

What? No, that's... that's not mine.

/wɒt/ /noʊ/ /maɪn/

I've never seen that before in my life.

/ˈnɛv.ər/ /ðæt/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /maɪ/ /laɪf/

No, you were reading it in the lobby.

/noʊ/ /juː/ /wɜːr/ /ˈriː.dɪŋ/ /ɪt/ /ˈlɒbi/

What, no, you have me confused with someone else.

/wɒt/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /hæv/ /miː/ /kənˈfjuːzd/ /wɪð/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /ɛls/

No, no, look right here. "From the personal library of Ted Mosby"

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /lʊk/ /raɪt/ /hɪr/ /ˈpɜːrsənl/ /ˈlaɪbrɛri/

That's you.

/juː/

Ted, Ted,

I hate to say this,

/heɪt/ /seɪ/

but I think it's "nail the receptionist" time.

/bʌt/ /θɪŋk/ /neɪl/ /taɪm/

I'm not gonna nail the receptionist.

/neɪl/

Ted, every little boy wants to grow up to nail the doctor or the lawyer.

/ˈɛv.ri/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /bɔɪ/ /ɡroʊ/ /ʌp/ /neɪl/ /ˈdɒktər/ /ˈlɔːjər/

Somebody's gotta nail the receptionist.

/neɪl/

No. I like Stella.

/noʊ/ /laɪk/

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, Ted.

/stɒp/ /juː/ /raɪt/ /ðɛr/

Your little Stella is not so perfect.

/jʊr/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /ɪz/ /ˈpɜːr.fɪkt/

What do you mean?

/wɒt/ /duː/ /juː/ /miːn/

I went down there and checked her out for myself.

/wɛnt/ /daʊn/ /ðɛr/ /ænd/ /hɜːr/ /aʊt/ /fɔːr/ /maɪˈsɛlf/

And while I was down there,

/ænd/ /waɪl/ /wɒz/ /daʊn/ /ðɛr/

I discovered that she had a secret,

/ðæt/ /ʃiː/ /hæd/ /ˈsiːkrɪt/

a terrible... terrible secret.

/ˈtɛrɪbl/ /ˈtɛrɪbl/ /ˈsiːkrɪt/

What? What is it?

/wɒt/ /wɒt/ /ɪz/ /ɪt/

Hold on, I gotta pee.

/hoʊld/ /ɒn/ /piː/

Okay, I'm back.

/bæk/

What's going on at work?

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ɒn/ /wɜːrk/

What's the big secret?!

/bɪɡ/ /ˈsiːkrɪt/

Oh. Oh, right.

/raɪt/

Hi, I'd like to see Dr. Zinman, please.

/laɪk/ /siː/ /pliːz/

Sure, what's it regarding?

/ʃʊr/ /ɪt/

Oh, I just want to see her. Want to look at her, see what she looks like.

/dʒʌst/ /wɒnt/ /siː/ /hɜːr/ /wɒnt/ /lʊk/ /hɜːr/ /siː/ /wɒt/ /ʃiː/ /laɪk/

I-I don't understand.

/ˌʌn.dərˈstænd/

I'm sorry, did I accidentally oprima numero dos when I called?

/ˈsɒr.i/ /dɪd/ /wɛn/

Do you speak English?

/duː/ /juː/ /spiːk/ /ˈɪŋ.ɡlɪʃ/

I want to see her!

/wɒnt/ /siː/ /hɜːr/

Sir, please don't yell at me

/sɜːr/ /pliːz/ /miː/

because when people yell at me, I have a tendency to start crying.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /wɛn/ /ˈpiː.pəl/ /miː/ /hæv/ /stɑːrt/ /ˈkraɪɪŋ/

Please don't do that. Please.

/pliːz/ /duː/ /ðæt/ /pliːz/

At first she seemed great, beautiful, smart, way out of your league.

/fɜːrst/ /ʃiː/ /ɡreɪt/ /ˈbjuː.tɪ.fəl/ /smɑːrt/ /weɪ/ /aʊt/ /jʊr/ /liːɡ/

But then, I overheard this conversation.

/bʌt/ /ðɛn/ /ˌkɒn.vərˈseɪ.ʃən/

Oh, Abby, did my hypnotherapist call yet?

/dɪd/ /maɪ/ /kɔːl/ /jɛt/

When am I going to kick this folliculaphilia?

/wɛn/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /kɪk/

Folliculaphilia?

Folliculaphilia.

What is that?

/wɒt/ /ɪz/ /ðæt/

Ted, your perfect woman...

/jʊr/ /ˈpɜːr.fɪkt/ /ˈwʊm.ən/

can only be attracted...

/kæn/ /ˈoʊnli/ /biː/

to men with moustaches.

/mɛn/ /wɪð/

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. That's not real.

/ðæt/ /ɪz/ /θɪŋ/ /ˈɛv.ər/ /hɜːrd/ /riːl/

You're right, Ted. I'm just making that up.

/raɪt/ /dʒʌst/ /ðæt/ /ʌp/

I know that you are because there's no such thing.

/noʊ/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /noʊ/ /sʌtʃ/ /θɪŋ/

I got it a little bit.

/ɪt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

Hi. Uh, Ted Mosby for Dr. Zinman.

/fɔːr/

Oh, hi, Ted. Love the 'stache.

/lʌv/

You look like a youngTom Selleck, only a million times handsomer.

/juː/ /lʊk/ /laɪk/ /ˈoʊnli/ /ˈmɪljən/ /taɪmz/

Dr. Zinman, Magnum's here to see you.

/hɪr/ /siː/ /juː/

Just kidding. Stupid.

/dʒʌst/ /ˈkɪdɪŋ/ /ˈstjuːpɪd/

Sorry I'm late. Typical two-minute lunch.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /leɪt/ /lʌntʃ/

So we are very close to getting...

/wiː/ /ˈvɛr.i/ /kloʊs/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/

Why? Just why?

/waɪ/ /dʒʌst/ /waɪ/

Y-you don't remember?

/rɪˈmɛm.bər/

I'll bet anyone ten bucks I can get Ted to grow a moustache.

/bɛt/ /ˈɛniwʌn/ /tɛn/ /kæn/ /ɡɛt/ /ɡroʊ/

Uh... okay.

You sabotaged my next to last chance with Stella for ten dollars?

/juː/ /maɪ/ /nɛkst/ /læst/ /tʃæns/ /wɪð/ /fɔːr/ /tɛn/

I know. I would've done it for free.

/noʊ/ /dʌn/ /ɪt/ /fɔːr/ /friː/

But, no. You owe me ten bucks.

/bʌt/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /miː/ /tɛn/

This is awful. My-my tenth session is next week.

/ɪz/ /ɪz/ /nɛkst/ /wiːk/

I'm gonna ask her out and,

/æsk/ /hɜːr/ /aʊt/ /ænd/

she's gonna say the most demoralizing syllable in the English language, no.

/seɪ/ /moʊst/ /ˈɪŋ.ɡlɪʃ/ /ˈlæŋ.ɡwɪdʒ/ /noʊ/

You know what? Just forget it. I'm not even gonna ask her.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /dʒʌst/ /fərˈɡɛt/ /ɪt/ /ˈiːvən/ /æsk/ /hɜːr/

No, you have to. She likes you. She said so herself.

/noʊ/ /juː/ /hæv/ /ʃiː/ /juː/ /ʃiː/ /sɛd/

I mean...

/miːn/

Oh, my God, you went and saw her, too.

/maɪ/ /juː/ /wɛnt/ /ænd/ /sɔː/ /hɜːr/

I swear to you, I did not.

/swɛər/ /juː/ /dɪd/

My wife's always getting on me about my dry elbows.

/maɪ/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ɒn/ /miː/ /əˈbaʊt/ /maɪ/ /draɪ/

So good to be in a relationship.

/ɡʊd/ /biː/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/

Anyone special in your life?

/ˈɛniwʌn/ /ˈspɛʃəl/ /jʊr/ /laɪf/

Or maybe just someone you're interested in?

/ˈmeɪbi/ /dʒʌst/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /ˈɪntrəstɪd/

Interes-ted in?

You know, we should really get this mole checked out.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ɡɛt/ /aʊt/

It's just a little irregular.

/dʒʌst/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

Irregular?

Oh, my God.

/maɪ/

This is it. It's all over.

/ɪz/ /ɪt/ /ɔːl/ /ˈoʊ.vər/

One patients has this little butterfly tattoo at the bottom of his back.

/hæz/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /hɪz/ /bæk/

Can you stop talking about your other patients?!

/kæn/ /juː/ /stɒp/ /əˈbaʊt/ /jʊr/ /ˈʌð.ər/

I'm dying here, woman!

/hɪr/ /ˈwʊm.ən/

Look, even if it is something, it's easily treatable, so try to relax.

/lʊk/ /ˈiːvən/ /ɪf/ /ɪt/ /ɪz/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /ˈiː.zɪ.li/ /traɪ/ /rɪˈlæks/

Okay.

Hey, what was it you were saying before about the guy with the butterfly tattoo?

/wɒt/ /wɒz/ /ɪt/ /juː/ /wɜːr/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ɡaɪ/ /wɪð/

Oh, that... that's nothing. It's just a little crush.

/ðæt/ /ˈnʌθ.ɪŋ/ /dʒʌst/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

So I will be calling you with your results.

/wɪl/ /biː/ /ˈkɔːlɪŋ/ /juː/ /wɪð/ /jʊr/

Oh. Okay. Thank you.

/juː/

Oh, sir, your book!

/sɜːr/ /jʊr/ /bʊk/

- No. - Yes.

/noʊ/

She said "crush"?

/ʃiː/ /sɛd/

And she was talking about me?

/ænd/ /ʃiː/ /wɒz/ /əˈbaʊt/ /miː/

That last session was the least painful of all.

/ðæt/ /læst/ /wɒz/ /liːst/ /ˈpeɪnfəl/ /ɔːl/

I savored every searing blast of that laser.

/ˈɛv.ri/ /ðæt/ /ˈleɪzər/

All done.

/ɔːl/ /dʌn/

The moment I'd waited ten weeks for had arrived.

/ˈmoʊmənt/ /tɛn/ /fɔːr/ /hæd/ /əˈraɪvd/

Stella... Stella...

...now that I'm no longer your patient,

/naʊ/ /ðæt/ /noʊ/ /ˈlɒŋɡər/ /jʊr/ /ˈpeɪʃənt/

would you like to have dinner with me?

/wʊd/ /juː/ /laɪk/ /hæv/ /ˈdɪn.ər/ /wɪð/ /miː/

- Ted, you're a really nice guy... - Oh, no.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /naɪs/ /ɡaɪ/ /noʊ/

It has been so great getting to know you.

/ɪt/ /hæz/ /ɡreɪt/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /noʊ/ /juː/

I am gonna kill Marshall.

/kɪl/

I've had so much fun these last ten weeks.

/hæd/ /mʌtʃ/ /fʌn/ /ðiːz/ /læst/ /tɛn/

Oh, my God, this is worse than the laser.

/maɪ/ /ɪz/ /wɜːrs/ /ðæn/ /ˈleɪzər/

I have a daughter.

/hæv/ /ˈdɔːtər/

What?

/wɒt/

Her name's Lucy. She's eight.

/hɜːr/ /eɪt/

Work and being with her, that's pretty much my life.

/wɜːrk/ /ænd/ /wɪð/ /hɜːr/ /ˈprɪti/ /mʌtʃ/ /maɪ/ /laɪf/

My social calendar

/maɪ/ /ˈsoʊʃəl/

is movie night with the girls once a month when I can get a sitter.

/ɪz/ /ˈmuːvi/ /naɪt/ /wɪð/ /ɡɜːrlz/ /wʌns/ /mʌnθ/ /wɛn/ /kæn/ /ɡɛt/

I mean, I've been to one party in the past year...

/miːn/ /ˈpɑːrti/ /pæst/ /jɪr/

St. Paddy's Day... it was awful, I left early.

/deɪ/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/ /lɛft/ /ˈɜːr.li/

But, really, my only free time is the two minutes I get for lunch, so...

/bʌt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /maɪ/ /ˈoʊnli/ /friː/ /taɪm/ /ɪz/ /tuː/ /ɡɛt/ /fɔːr/ /lʌntʃ/

this is why I don't date.

/ɪz/ /waɪ/ /deɪt/

I only have time for one most important person in my life, and that's Lucy.

/ˈoʊnli/ /hæv/ /taɪm/ /fɔːr/ /moʊst/ /ɪmˈpɔːr.tənt/ /ˈpɜːrsən/ /maɪ/ /laɪf/ /ænd/

Anyway, it's been fun.

/ˈɛniweɪ/ /fʌn/

Next time, think before you ink.

/nɛkst/ /taɪm/ /θɪŋk/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /juː/

But if you ever do wake up with, like, a

/bʌt/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /ˈɛv.ər/ /duː/ /weɪk/ /ʌp/ /wɪð/ /laɪk/

dolphin tattoo on your ankle, just give me a call.

/ˈdɒlfɪn/ /ɒn/ /jʊr/ /dʒʌst/ /ɡɪv/ /miː/ /kɔːl/

There it is.. she's a mom.

/ðɛr/ /ɪt/ /ɪz/ /mɒm/

It's just not gonna happen.

/dʒʌst/ /ˈhæpən/

Sorry, dude.

/ˈsɒr.i/

Have a shrimp.

/hæv/

I'm good.

/ɡʊd/

I guess I got no one but myself to blame.

/ɡɛs/ /noʊ/ /bʌt/ /maɪˈsɛlf/ /bleɪm/

She told me right from the start she was gonna say no and sure enough...

/ʃiː/ /toʊld/ /miː/ /raɪt/ /stɑːrt/ /ʃiː/ /wɒz/ /seɪ/ /noʊ/ /ænd/ /ʃʊr/ /ɪˈnʌf/

Wait a minute.

/weɪt/ /ˈmɪn.ɪt/

- Hi. - Hi.

You didn't actually say no.

/juː/ /ˈæktʃuəli/ /seɪ/ /noʊ/

What do you mean?

/wɒt/ /duː/ /juː/ /miːn/

All this time you were, uh, you were supposed to say no, but you didn't...

/ɔːl/ /taɪm/ /juː/ /wɜːr/ /juː/ /wɜːr/ /səˈpoʊzd/ /seɪ/ /noʊ/ /bʌt/ /juː/

I checked the transcript.

So, here's what I'm proposing. Uh... you only have two minutes, right?

/wɒt/ /juː/ /ˈoʊnli/ /hæv/ /tuː/ /raɪt/

Right.

/raɪt/

Okay. You want to, uh... go on a a two-minute date with me?

/juː/ /wɒnt/ /ɡoʊ/ /ɒn/ /deɪt/ /wɪð/ /miː/

Last two-minute date I had gave me a daughter.

/læst/ /deɪt/ /hæd/ /ɡeɪv/ /miː/ /ˈdɔːtər/

But um... Okay.

/bʌt/

Great.

/ɡreɪt/

And... go.

/ænd/ /ɡoʊ/

Taxi! Taxi!

- I seriously only have two minutes... - I know.

/ˈsɪəriəsli/ /ˈoʊnli/ /hæv/ /tuː/ /noʊ/

That's like 120 seconds.

/laɪk/

380 West 22nd, please.

/wɛst/ /pliːz/

And step on it. We're in a hurry.

/ænd/ /stɛp/ /ɒn/ /ɪt/ /ˈhʌri/

380 West 22nd? That's...

/wɛst/

- Right this way. - Thank you, sir.

/raɪt/ /weɪ/ /juː/ /sɜːr/

You know, I have always wanted to try this place.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /hæv/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /traɪ/ /pleɪs/

House salad.

/haʊs/ /ˈsæləd/

- So, college? - Stanford.

/ˈkɒlɪdʒ/

- Wesleyan. - Oh, good. Do you know Adam Lazar?

/ɡʊd/ /duː/ /juː/ /noʊ/

No. Scott Crable?

/noʊ/

- Eggplant parmesean. - Thanks.

- Already cut up. - Could we get the check please.

/ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /kʌt/ /ʌp/ /kʊd/ /wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /tʃɛk/ /pliːz/

We're trying to make a movie in 15 seconds.

/meɪk/ /ˈmuːvi/

- Of course. - Okay, great.

/kɔːrs/ /ɡreɪt/

Uh, how do you want to do this?

/haʊ/ /duː/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /duː/

You had the eggplant parm. I only really had water so...

/juː/ /hæd/ /ˈoʊnli/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /hæd/ /ˈwɔː.tər/

I'm kidding.

/ˈkɪdɪŋ/

Okay. Let's go. Taxi!

/ɡoʊ/

- You nervous? - A little bit.

/juː/ /ˈnɜːrvəs/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

- You can't tell at all. - Oh, good.

/juː/ /tɛl/ /ɔːl/ /ɡʊd/

Hello!

384 West 22nd.

/wɛst/

- 15 seconds. The movie's started. - Nah, previews. We'll be fine.

/biː/ /faɪn/

Ah! Just in time. It hasn't started yet.

/dʒʌst/ /taɪm/ /ɪt/ /jɛt/

- So, what are we seeing? - Manos: Hands of Fate.

/wɒt/ /wiː/ /hændz/

- The whole thing? - Only the important parts.

/hoʊl/ /θɪŋ/ /ˈoʊnli/ /ɪmˈpɔːr.tənt/

Worst movie ever.

/wɜːrst/ /ˈmuːvi/ /ˈɛv.ər/

Yeah, I almost walked out, like, five times.

/ˈɔːlmoʊst/ /aʊt/ /laɪk/ /faɪv/ /taɪmz/

- How we doing on time? Taxi! - We got a little time.

/haʊ/ /wiː/ /ɒn/ /taɪm/ /wiː/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /taɪm/

- Okay. Do you want to walk it? - Why not?

/duː/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /wɔːk/ /ɪt/ /waɪ/

Hello!

Good-bye!

So what grade's your daughter in?

/wɒt/ /jʊr/ /ˈdɔːtər/

- Third grade. - Ah! That's a good year.

/ɡreɪd/ /ɡʊd/ /jɪr/

Yeah, she's wonderful.

/ˈwʌndərfəl/

I just wish that I could get her to quit smoking, you know?

/dʒʌst/ /wɪʃ/ /ðæt/ /kʊd/ /ɡɛt/ /hɜːr/ /kwɪt/ /ˈsmoʊkɪŋ/ /juː/ /noʊ/

- What? - I'm kidding.

/wɒt/ /ˈkɪdɪŋ/

Look, coffee and dessert?

/lʊk/ /ˈkɔː.fi/ /ænd/ /dɪˈzɜːrt/

You know, this neighborhood just keeps on changing.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /dʒʌst/ /ɒn/

This used to be a cute, little Italian restaurant.

/biː/ /kjuːt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /ˈrɛstərɒnt/

I know. New York.

/noʊ/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/

It's a living organism, an ever-changing tapestry. Ooh, look at the time.

/ˈlɪvɪŋ/ /lʊk/ /taɪm/

- Let's go. - The cheesecake's amazing.

/ɡoʊ/ /əˈmeɪzɪŋ/

- Flowers? - I'm allergic.

/ˈflaʊərz/

Okay. See? We're getting to know each other.

/siː/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /noʊ/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/

Stella, I had a lovely... Doggy bag?

/hæd/ /ˈlʌvli/ /bæɡ/

- Stella, I had a lovely time. - Me, too, Ted.

/hæd/ /ˈlʌvli/ /taɪm/ /miː/

And... date. Huh?

/ænd/ /deɪt/

That wasn't so bad, right? No lengthy, awkward silences.

/ðæt/ /bæd/ /raɪt/ /noʊ/ /ˈɔːkwərd/

Dessert ran a little long, so... I had to cut the good-night kiss.

/dɪˈzɜːrt/ /ræn/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /lɔːŋ/ /hæd/ /kʌt/ /kɪs/

I think I can be late just once.

/θɪŋk/ /kæn/ /biː/ /leɪt/ /dʒʌst/ /wʌns/

Look, I would love to have a second date, I would.

/lʊk/ /wʊd/ /lʌv/ /hæv/ /ˈsɛk.ənd/ /deɪt/ /wʊd/

But I understand that you really don't have time right now, but if you ever do,

/bʌt/ /ˌʌn.dərˈstænd/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /hæv/ /taɪm/ /raɪt/ /naʊ/ /bʌt/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /ˈɛv.ər/ /duː/

will you give me a call?

/wɪl/ /juː/ /ɡɪv/ /miː/ /kɔːl/

- Yes. - Okay.

And that, kids, is how you turn a "no" into a "yes."

/ænd/ /ðæt/ /kɪdz/ /ɪz/ /haʊ/ /juː/ /tɜːrn/ /noʊ/

All my friends told me, "Abby, be strong.

/ɔːl/ /maɪ/ /frɛndz/ /toʊld/ /miː/ /biː/ /strɒŋ/

He doesn't deserve another chance." But I forgive you!

/hiː/ /əˈnʌðər/ /tʃæns/ /bʌt/ /fərˈɡɪv/ /juː/

No, no, no, no!

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/

He seems so nice but then he just kept toying with my emotions.

/hiː/ /naɪs/ /bʌt/ /ðɛn/ /hiː/ /dʒʌst/ /wɪð/ /maɪ/

This Ted guy sounds like a real jerk.

/ɡaɪ/ /laɪk/ /riːl/ /dʒɜːrk/

You know your problem? You're too sweet.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /jʊr/ /ˈprɒbləm/ /swiːt/

Aren't you going to see the doctor about that mole?

/juː/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /siː/ /ˈdɒktər/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ðæt/

Oh, yeah. Turns out it's just a Raisinet.

/aʊt/ /dʒʌst/

Hey, how would you like me to take you out to a fancy restaurant

/haʊ/ /wʊd/ /juː/ /laɪk/ /miː/ /teɪk/ /juː/ /aʊt/ /ˈrɛstərɒnt/

and then go on a shopping spree?

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /ɡoʊ/ /ɒn/

Treat you the way you should be treated.

/triːt/ /juː/ /weɪ/ /juː/ /ʃʊd/ /biː/

Would that make you forget about that Ted monster?

/wʊd/ /ðæt/ /meɪk/ /juː/ /fərˈɡɛt/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ðæt/

My mom was wrong. There are nice guys in New York.

/maɪ/ /mɒm/ /wɒz/ /rɒŋ/ /ðɛr/ /naɪs/ /ɡaɪz/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/

We just have to go by my hotel room first.

/wiː/ /dʒʌst/ /hæv/ /ɡoʊ/ /maɪ/ /hoʊˈtɛl/ /ruːm/ /fɜːrst/

My bed was broken. I just have to make sure they fixed it.

/maɪ/ /bɛd/ /wɒz/ /dʒʌst/ /hæv/ /meɪk/ /ʃʊr/ /ðeɪ/ /ɪt/

Well, then if it's fixed, can we have sex on it

/wɛl/ /ðɛn/ /ɪf/ /kæn/ /wiː/ /hæv/ /sɛks/ /ɒn/ /ɪt/

and then go shopping.

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /ɡoʊ/

I like you.

/laɪk/ /juː/