Season 4 · Tập 8

Kids, in the fall of 2008,

/kɪdz/ /fɔːl/

Your aunt robin was unemployed and a little bit adrift,

/jʊr/ /ænt/ /wɒz/ /ˌʌnɪmˈplɔɪd/ /ænd/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

So she valued her friendship with lily more than ever.

/ʃiː/ /hɜːr/ /ˈfrɛndʃɪp/ /wɪð/ /mɔːr/ /ðæn/ /ˈɛv.ər/

Hey, so I hear marshall has to work late on friday.

/hɪr/ /hæz/ /wɜːrk/ /leɪt/ /ɒn/

You know what that means-- ladies' night.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /ðæt/ /naɪt/

Oh, actually one of the teachers at my school, jillian,

/ˈæktʃuəli/ /maɪ/ /skuːl/

Is having a birthday party.

/ɪz/ /ˈhævɪŋ/ /ˈbɜːrθdeɪ/ /ˈpɑːrti/

Oh. okay.

What? Sao?

/wɒt/

It's just I've never even heard

/dʒʌst/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /ˈiːvən/ /hɜːrd/

Of this jillian person before

/ˈpɜːrsən/ /bɪˈfɔːr/

And suddenly she's, like, your best friend.

/ænd/ /ˈsʌd.ən.li/ /laɪk/ /jʊr/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/

You can't shut up about her.

/juː/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /əˈbaʊt/ /hɜːr/

Don't be jealous.

/biː/ /ˈdʒɛləs/

You and I hang out all the time.

/juː/ /ænd/ /aʊt/ /ɔːl/ /taɪm/

Yeah, but marshall's always there.

/bʌt/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /ðɛr/

We don't get a lot of quality time to talk,

/wiː/ /ɡɛt/ /lɒt/ /taɪm/ /tɔːk/

Just the two of us.

/dʒʌst/ /tuː/ /ʌs/

That's not true.

/truː/

So that's when the story gets really good.

/wɛn/ /ˈstɔːri/ /ɡɛts/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ɡʊd/

So, we go to the, uh... hey.

/wiː/ /ɡoʊ/

...place.

/pleɪs/

And then that...

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /ðæt/

Guy asks about that thing with the stuff

/ɡaɪ/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ðæt/ /θɪŋ/ /wɪð/ /stʌf/

That I told you about at that place that time.

/ðæt/ /toʊld/ /juː/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ðæt/ /pleɪs/ /ðæt/ /taɪm/

Long story short--

/lɔːŋ/ /ˈstɔːri/ /ʃɔːrt/

Events transpired.

Oh, my god.

/maɪ/

You and the guy from the mayor's office

/juː/ /ænd/ /ɡaɪ/ /ˈɒfɪs/

Did it in the un building under the desk

/dɪd/ /ɪt/ /ˈbɪldɪŋ/ /ˈʌndər/ /dɛsk/

Of the ambassador from zaire?

Nice.

/naɪs/

I just wish we could have some girl time.

/dʒʌst/ /wɪʃ/ /wiː/ /kʊd/ /hæv/ /sʌm/ /ɡɜːrl/ /taɪm/

I love marshall, but he's always talk-blocking me.

/lʌv/ /bʌt/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /miː/

So come out with me and jillian then.

/kʌm/ /aʊt/ /wɪð/ /miː/ /ænd/ /ðɛn/

Okay, but I don't want to stay out too late because...

/bʌt/ /wɒnt/ /steɪ/ /aʊt/ /leɪt/ /bɪˈkɔːz/

Remember that, um, thing

/rɪˈmɛm.bər/ /ðæt/ /θɪŋ/

Last month after I went to the place?

/læst/ /mʌnθ/ /ˈæf.tər/ /wɛnt/ /pleɪs/

Well, you know who said it's fine,

/wɛl/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /huː/ /sɛd/ /faɪn/

But she gave me some stuff.

/bʌt/ /ʃiː/ /ɡeɪv/ /miː/ /sʌm/ /stʌf/

You still got that yeast infection, huh?

/juː/ /ðæt/ /ɪnˈfɛkʃən/

Marshall, Marshall,

I want you to enjoy this moment.

/wɒnt/ /juː/ /ɪnˈdʒɔɪ/ /ˈmoʊmənt/

What moment?

/wɒt/ /ˈmoʊmənt/

The last moment of you and I being even slightly

/læst/ /ˈmoʊmənt/ /juː/ /ænd/ /ˈiːvən/ /ˈslaɪtli/

In competition for the title of ted's best friend.

/ˌkɒmpɪˈtɪʃən/ /fɔːr/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/

Marshall's my best friend.

/maɪ/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/

Exactly. it's a tie.

/ɪɡˈzæktli/ /taɪ/

But all of that is about to change.

/bʌt/ /ɔːl/ /ðæt/ /ɪz/ /əˈbaʊt/ /tʃeɪndʒ/

Ted, am I correct that you are an architect?

/kəˈrɛkt/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /ˈɑːrkɪtekt/

My best friend would really know that, but go on.

/maɪ/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/ /wʊd/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /noʊ/ /ðæt/ /bʌt/ /ɡoʊ/ /ɒn/

And what are you currently designing?

/ænd/ /wɒt/ /juː/ /dɪˈzaɪnɪŋ/

Actually, we're renovating the new york public library.

/ˈæktʃuəli/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/ /ˈpʌblɪk/ /ˈlaɪbrɛri/

Wow, ted, that's huge!

/hjuːdʒ/

No, not the new york public library.

/noʊ/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/ /ˈpʌblɪk/ /ˈlaɪbrɛri/

It's the new public library in york, north dakota.

/njuː/ /ˈpʌblɪk/ /ˈlaɪbrɛri/ /jɔːrk/ /nɔːrθ/

Their books are in 2 sections

/ðɛr/

Fishin' and non-fishin'.

/ænd/

Then I think you are going to really like

/ðɛn/ /θɪŋk/ /juː/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /laɪk/

What happened at work today.

/wɒt/ /ˈhæpənd/ /wɜːrk/ /təˈdeɪ/

And so, while those bribes

/ænd/ /waɪl/ /ðoʊz/

Did destabilize the regime and caused the death

/dɪd/ /ænd/ /dɛθ/

Of most of the royal family,

/moʊst/ /ˈfæm.ɪ.li/

It did lead to looser banking regulations in rangoon.

/ɪt/ /dɪd/ /liːd/

So yay us.

/jeɪ/ /ʌs/

Okay, last order of business.

/læst/ /ˈɔːrdər/ /ˈbɪznɪs/

It's been decided we're going to move forward

/ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /muːv/ /ˈfɔːr.wərd/

With plans for goliath national bank's

/wɪð/ /fɔːr/ /ˈnæʃənl/

New downtown headquarters.

/njuː/

Who's gonna design it?

/dɪˈzaɪn/ /ɪt/

Was my first question.

/wɒz/ /maɪ/ /fɜːrst/ /ˈkwɛs.tʃən/

Who's gonna design it?

/dɪˈzaɪn/ /ɪt/

We've already approached one firm about it.

/ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ɪt/

This swedish architecture collective called sven.

/ˈɑːrkɪtɛktʃər/

Sven? Sven?

Sven?! Sven?!

Sven was this swedish architecture collective

/wɒz/ /ˈɑːrkɪtɛktʃər/

Revered for their bold, innovative designs.

/fɔːr/ /ðɛr/ /ˈɪnəveɪtɪv/

I hated those guys.

/ˈheɪtɪd/ /ðoʊz/ /ɡaɪz/

I hate those guys.

/heɪt/ /ðoʊz/ /ɡaɪz/

Swedish architecture collective.

/ˈɑːrkɪtɛktʃər/

Lame.

Pretentious. Khoe khoang.

"we're not a company. we're a collective."

/ˈkʌmpəni/

I know.

/noʊ/

"we are swedish.

/wiː/

"we are so cool with our baguettes

/wiː/ /kuːl/ /wɪð/ /aʊər/

And our eiffel tower."

/ænd/ /aʊər/

Dude, sweden's not france. you know that, right?

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ðæt/ /raɪt/

Oh, it's france.

So anyway, I say to bilson...

/ˈɛniweɪ/ /seɪ/

Bilson, with all due respect...

/wɪð/ /ɔːl/ /rɪˈspɛkt/

No, I stand up, and I say to bilson...

/noʊ/ /stænd/ /ʌp/ /ænd/ /seɪ/

Bilson, with all due respect...

/wɪð/ /ɔːl/ /rɪˈspɛkt/

Music. imagine patriotic music playing.

/ˈmjuːzɪk/ /ɪˈmædʒ.ɪn/ /ˈmjuːzɪk/ /ˈpleɪɪŋ/

Bilson, with all due respect,

/wɪð/ /ɔːl/ /rɪˈspɛkt/

It would be terrible

/ɪt/ /wʊd/ /biː/ /ˈtɛrɪbl/

If a job that could go

/ɪf/ /dʒɒb/ /ðæt/ /kʊd/ /ɡoʊ/

To a hard-working american

Architecture firm went to a bunch of french guys.

/ˈɑːrkɪtɛktʃər/ /wɛnt/ /ɡaɪz/

Where is our patriotism?

/wɛr/ /ɪz/ /aʊər/

Our sense of country?

/aʊər/ /sɛns/ /ˈkʌn.tri/

Our love of all that is...

/aʊər/ /lʌv/ /ɔːl/ /ðæt/ /ɪz/

Look, stinson,

/lʊk/

No one hates every other country in the world as much as I do,

/noʊ/ /heɪts/ /ˈɛv.ri/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /ˈkʌn.tri/ /wɜːrld/ /mʌtʃ/ /duː/

But you better have a point.

/bʌt/ /juː/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /hæv/ /pɔɪnt/

I do.

/duː/

I know a fantastic

/noʊ/

American architect who would be perfect for the job.

/ˈɑːrkɪtekt/ /huː/ /wʊd/ /biː/ /ˈpɜːr.fɪkt/ /fɔːr/ /dʒɒb/

Ted mosby. Ted Mosby.

So, all you gotta do is come in, pitch your design,

/ɔːl/ /juː/ /duː/ /ɪz/ /kʌm/ /jʊr/ /dɪˈzaɪn/

I get the board to approve it, and the job is yours.

/ɡɛt/ /bɔːrd/ /ɪt/ /ænd/ /dʒɒb/ /ɪz/ /jɔːrz/

Do you realize what a hero I would be

/duː/ /juː/ /wɒt/ /wʊd/ /biː/

If I brought this project to my firm?

/ɪf/ /ˈprɒdʒɛkt/ /maɪ/

And that's not even the best part.

/ænd/ /ˈiːvən/ /bɛst/ /pɑːrt/

All three of us are gonna be working together.

/ɔːl/ /θriː/ /ʌs/ /biː/ /ˈwɜːrkɪŋ/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/

Ted can be on the conference call.

/kæn/ /biː/ /ɒn/ /ˈkɒnfərəns/ /kɔːl/

He can totally be on the conference call. what's the conference call?

/hiː/ /kæn/ /ˈtoʊtəli/ /biː/ /ɒn/ /ˈkɒnfərəns/ /kɔːl/ /ˈkɒnfərəns/ /kɔːl/

The way it works is, one of us will duck

/weɪ/ /ɪt/ /wɜːrks/ /ɪz/ /ʌs/ /wɪl/ /dʌk/

Into the other's office and say...

/ˈɒfɪs/ /ænd/ /seɪ/

Marshall, the conference call's about to start.

/ˈkɒnfərəns/ /əˈbaʊt/ /stɑːrt/

I'm sorry, guys, I gotta go.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /ɡaɪz/ /ɡoʊ/

And then we go up to the roof of the building...

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /wiː/ /ɡoʊ/ /ʌp/ /ruːf/ /ˈbɪldɪŋ/

And drink beer.

/ænd/ /drɪŋk/ /bɪər/

This is awesome. mm.

/ɪz/ /ˈɔːsəm/

Drinking at work.

/ˈdrɪŋkɪŋ/ /wɜːrk/

We're basically mad men.

/mæd/ /mɛn/

We are! we're such mad men!

/wiː/ /sʌtʃ/ /mæd/ /mɛn/

I'm gonna go smack a secretary on the ass.

/ɡoʊ/ /ɒn/

That's totally what they would do on that show.

/ˈtoʊtəli/ /wɒt/ /ðeɪ/ /wʊd/ /duː/ /ɒn/ /ðæt/ /ʃoʊ/

What show?

/wɒt/ /ʃoʊ/

And then, we throw crumpled up beer cans at pigeons.

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /wiː/ /θroʊ/ /ʌp/ /bɪər/

I don't do that.

/duː/ /ðæt/

I totally want to do that.

/ˈtoʊtəli/ /wɒnt/ /duː/ /ðæt/

Well, I am gonna make that happen.

/wɛl/ /meɪk/ /ðæt/ /ˈhæpən/

Seriously, barney,

/ˈsɪəriəsli/

After everything I went through with stella,

/ˈæf.tər/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /wɛnt/ /θruː/ /wɪð/

Getting me this opportunity...

/ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /miː/ /ˌɒpərˈtjuːnɪti/

It really means a lot.

/ɪt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /lɒt/

It really did. you see, kids,

/ɪt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /dɪd/ /juː/ /siː/ /kɪdz/

When I became an architect, I had one dream--

/wɛn/ /ˈɑːrkɪtekt/ /hæd/ /driːm/

To contribute a building to the skyline of new york city.

/ˈbɪldɪŋ/ /njuː/ /jɔːrk/ /ˈsɪt.i/

I wanted to be able to point to one of those buildings

/biː/ /ˈeɪ.bəl/ /pɔɪnt/ /ðoʊz/

And say, see that one? that one right there?

/ænd/ /seɪ/ /siː/ /ðæt/ /ðæt/ /raɪt/ /ðɛr/

That's mine.

/maɪn/

This job was my opportunity to do just that.

/dʒɒb/ /wɒz/ /maɪ/ /ˌɒpərˈtjuːnɪti/ /duː/ /dʒʌst/ /ðæt/

Wow. your friend's having her birthday here?

/jʊr/ /ˈhævɪŋ/ /hɜːr/ /ˈbɜːrθdeɪ/ /hɪr/

What's she turning, 19?

/ʃiː/

No. believe me, this isn't her scene.

/noʊ/ /bɪˈliːv/ /miː/ /hɜːr/ /siːn/

She probably just didn't know what kind of place this was.

/ʃiː/ /ˈprɒbəbli/ /dʒʌst/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /kaɪnd/ /pleɪs/ /wɒz/

Lily! over here,

/ˈoʊ.vər/ /hɪr/

You sexy bitch!

/juː/

We've got bottle service!

/ˈbɒtəl/

At school, she's so quiet and normal.

/skuːl/ /ˈkwaɪɪt/ /ænd/ /ˈnɔːrməl/

I had no idea she's...

/hæd/ /noʊ/ /aɪˈdɪ.ə/

She's a woo girl.

/ɡɜːrl/

What's a woo girl?

/ɡɜːrl/

Let me explain.

/lɛt/ /miː/ /ɪkˈspleɪn/

A woo girl is a type of young woman,

/ɡɜːrl/ /ɪz/ /taɪp/ /jʌŋ/ /ˈwʊm.ən/

Who, like the cuckoo bird or the whip-poor-will,

/huː/ /laɪk/ /bɜːrd/

Gets her name from the signature sound she makes.

/ɡɛts/ /hɜːr/ /neɪm/ /saʊnd/ /ʃiː/

Now, a woo can be elicited in many different ways.

/naʊ/ /kæn/ /biː/ /ˈmɛn.i/ /ˈdɪfrənt/ /weɪz/

From a certain song coming on the jukebox...

/sɒŋ/ /ɒn/

Oh, my god, this song is totally about me.

/maɪ/ /sɒŋ/ /ɪz/ /ˈtoʊtəli/ /əˈbaʊt/ /miː/

...to half-priced shots.

/ʃɒts/

From a ride on a mechanical bull...

/raɪd/ /ɒn/

...to, well, pretty much anything.

/wɛl/ /ˈprɪti/ /mʌtʃ/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/

Oh, my god, I was worried that I didn't feed the cat,

/maɪ/ /wɒz/ /ˈwʌrid/ /ðæt/ /fiːd/ /kæt/

But then I remembered that I did.

/bʌt/ /ðɛn/ /ðæt/ /dɪd/

I swear, at school jillian seems so un-woo-y.

/swɛər/ /skuːl/

Yeah, she doesn't look wooish.

/ʃiː/ /lʊk/

Maybe she only observes

/ˈmeɪbi/ /ʃiː/ /ˈoʊnli/

The high holidays, like mardi gras and spring break.

/haɪ/ /laɪk/ /ænd/ /sprɪŋ/ /breɪk/

Maybe she's just a cultural woo.

/ˈmeɪbi/ /dʒʌst/

Now, uh, go easy on me.

/naʊ/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈiː.zi/ /ɒn/ /miː/

It's a work in progress.

/wɜːrk/

Ted, this is amazing.

/ɪz/ /əˈmeɪzɪŋ/

The detail.

The shading.

The playfulness of the lines.

This is exactly what princess leia would look like topless.

/ɪz/ /ɪɡˈzæktli/ /wɒt/ /wʊd/ /lʊk/ /laɪk/

My way of saying thanks.

/maɪ/ /weɪ/

So, uh, you want to see my designs for the building?

/juː/ /wɒnt/ /siː/ /maɪ/ /fɔːr/ /ˈbɪldɪŋ/

Nah, I'm good.

/ɡʊd/

So get this.

/ɡɛt/

Lily just texted me.

/dʒʌst/ /miː/

She's at that bar giddyups with a bunch of woo girls.

/ðæt/ /bɑːr/ /wɪð/ /ɡɜːrlz/

Oh, my god, you guys,

/maɪ/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/

My boob just fell out of my top at the bar.

/maɪ/ /dʒʌst/ /aʊt/ /maɪ/ /tɒp/ /bɑːr/

Trick! I pulled it out for a free drink!

/ɪt/ /aʊt/ /fɔːr/ /friː/ /drɪŋk/

So, jillian, I hear when you're not flashing bartenders,

/hɪr/ /wɛn/

You teach the second grade.

/juː/ /tiːtʃ/ /ˈsɛk.ənd/ /ɡreɪd/

What's that like?

/ðæt/ /laɪk/

So rewarding.

I don't know if you're familiar with the rie technique,

/noʊ/ /ɪf/ /fəˈmɪliər/ /wɪð/

But it derives from the progressive educational

/bʌt/ /ɪt/

Philosophy of rudolf steiner,

Who founded the waldorf school, which...

/huː/ /skuːl/ /wɪtʃ/

Oh, my god. I love this song!

/maɪ/ /lʌv/ /sɒŋ/

Come on, you lazy skanks, let's dance!

/kʌm/ /ɒn/ /juː/ /ˈleɪzi/ /dæns/

You, too, you dumb whores.

/juː/ /juː/

No, thank you...

/noʊ/ /juː/

Ya ignorant hussy.

Why, lily aldrin,

/waɪ/

You sly minx.

/juː/

I've been saying for years

/fɔːr/

That our gang needed a woo girl,

/ðæt/ /aʊər/ /ɡæŋ/ /ɡɜːrl/

And here you've been hiding a whole batch of them from me.

/ænd/ /hɪr/ /hoʊl/ /ðɛm/ /miː/

We do not need a woo girl.

/wiː/ /duː/ /niːd/ /ɡɜːrl/

No one needs a woo girl.

/noʊ/ /ɡɜːrl/

Be careful, lily.

/biː/ /ˈkɛr.fəl/

The world absolutely needs woo girls.

/wɜːrld/ /ˈæbsəluːtli/ /ɡɜːrlz/

If there were no woo girls,

/ɪf/ /ðɛr/ /wɜːr/ /noʊ/ /ɡɜːrlz/

There'd be no girls gone wild,

/biː/ /noʊ/ /ɡɜːrlz/ /ɡɔːn/ /waɪld/

No bachelorette parties, no las vegas poolside bars...

/noʊ/ /noʊ/

All the things that you hold dearest, lily, would be gone.

/ɔːl/ /θɪŋz/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /hoʊld/ /wʊd/ /biː/ /ɡɔːn/

Those are none of the things...

/ðoʊz/ /nʌn/ /θɪŋz/

The souvenir shot glass industry would collapse.

/ʃɒt/ /ɡlæs/ /ˈɪndəstri/ /wʊd/

So would the body glitter industry

/wʊd/ /ˈbɒdi/ /ˈɪndəstri/

And the stretch hummer rental industry.

/ænd/ /ˈɪndəstri/

Tiny cowboy hats would be worn

/ˈtaɪni/ /wʊd/ /biː/

Only by tiny cowboys.

/ˈoʊnli/ /ˈtaɪni/

And when

/ænd/ /wɛn/

"brown eyed girl" would come up on the jukebox,

/ɡɜːrl/ /wʊd/ /kʌm/ /ʌp/ /ɒn/

All you would hear...

/ɔːl/ /juː/ /wʊd/ /hɪr/

Would be silence.

/wʊd/ /biː/

And "brown eyed girl."

/ænd/ /ɡɜːrl/

But who would woo, lily?

/bʌt/ /huː/ /wʊd/

Who would woo?

/huː/ /wʊd/

Would you?

/wʊd/ /juː/

Would you...

/wʊd/ /juː/

Who wants to name my boobs?!

/huː/ /neɪm/ /maɪ/

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with hannity and colmes.

/naʊ/ /ɪf/ /ɪkˈskjuːz/ /miː/ /hæv/ /deɪt/ /wɪð/ /ænd/

Over the next couple of weeks, I dove into work.

/ˈoʊ.vər/ /nɛkst/ /ˈkʌpəl/ /wɜːrk/

It felt great to be working on something

/ɪt/ /fɛlt/ /ɡreɪt/ /biː/ /ˈwɜːrkɪŋ/ /ɒn/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/

That I really cared about.

/ðæt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /əˈbaʊt/

Finally, the morning of the presentation arrived.

/ˈfaɪnəli/ /ˈmɔːr.nɪŋ/ /ˌprɛzənˈteɪʃən/ /əˈraɪvd/

And we believe this timeless design

/ænd/ /wiː/ /bɪˈliːv/ /dɪˈzaɪn/

Will radiate the strength and stability

/wɪl/ /ænd/

That is goliath national bank.

/ðæt/ /ɪz/ /ˈnæʃənl/ /bæŋk/

Thank you, gentlemen.

/juː/

I left there feeling pretty good about my chances.

/lɛft/ /ðɛr/ /ˈfiːlɪŋ/ /ˈprɪti/ /ɡʊd/ /əˈbaʊt/ /maɪ/

Later that night, we ran into barney.

/ˈleɪtər/ /ðæt/ /naɪt/ /wiː/ /ræn/

Hey, barney!

Give me the good news.

/ɡɪv/ /miː/ /ɡʊd/ /njuːz/

You didn't get it.

/juː/ /ɡɛt/ /ɪt/

What?

/wɒt/

The board decided to go with sven.

/bɔːrd/ /ɡoʊ/ /wɪð/

I can't believe I didn't get it.

/bɪˈliːv/ /ɡɛt/ /ɪt/

I really thought I nailed the pitch.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /θɔːt/

Why would they go with sven?

/waɪ/ /wʊd/ /ðeɪ/ /ɡoʊ/ /wɪð/

I did everything I could to change their minds.

/dɪd/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /kʊd/ /tʃeɪndʒ/ /ðɛr/

But they wouldn't budge.

/bʌt/ /ðeɪ/

I'm sorry.

/ˈsɒr.i/

Wow, this really sucks.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/

After the way these last couple of months have gone...

/ˈæf.tər/ /weɪ/ /ðiːz/ /læst/ /ˈkʌpəl/ /hæv/ /ɡɔːn/

I guess I needed this more than I thought I did.

/ɡɛs/ /mɔːr/ /ðæn/ /θɔːt/ /dɪd/

You want to go down to the current gnb building

/juː/ /wɒnt/ /ɡoʊ/ /daʊn/ /ˈkɜːrənt/ /ˈbɪldɪŋ/

And just, like... I don't know,

/ænd/ /dʒʌst/ /laɪk/ /noʊ/

Just pee on it a little bit?

/dʒʌst/ /piː/ /ɒn/ /ɪt/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

Yeah, I think I need that.

/θɪŋk/ /niːd/ /ðæt/

Finish your beer. fill your tank.

/ˈfɪn.ɪʃ/ /jʊr/ /bɪər/ /fɪl/ /jʊr/

What happened?

/wɒt/ /ˈhæpənd/

Oh, ted didn't get that job.

/ɡɛt/ /ðæt/ /dʒɒb/

But that's not

/bʌt/

The biggest disappointment of the day.

/deɪ/

What? Sao?

/wɒt/

We saw you woo.

/wiː/ /sɔː/ /juː/

Saw who woo?

/sɔː/ /huː/

Saw you woo.

/sɔː/ /juː/

I didn't woo.

You did, too.

/juː/ /dɪd/

That's not true.

/truː/

Your nose just grew.

/jʊr/ /noʊz/ /dʒʌst/

You're, like, best friends with jillian now?

/laɪk/ /bɛst/ /frɛndz/ /wɪð/ /naʊ/

No. it's just...

/noʊ/ /dʒʌst/

You're married, lily, but I'm still single.

/ˈmærid/ /bʌt/ /ˈsɪŋɡəl/

Whenever I hang out with you,

/aʊt/ /wɪð/ /juː/

I'm usually the third wheel to you and marshall.

/ˈjuː.ʒu.ə.li/ /wiːl/ /juː/ /ænd/

Sometimes, it's fun to go out with other single women

/ˈsʌm.taɪmz/ /fʌn/ /ɡoʊ/ /aʊt/ /wɪð/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /ˈsɪŋɡəl/ /ˈwɪmɪn/

And do stuff that you don't want to.

/ænd/ /duː/ /stʌf/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /wɒnt/

Like what?

/laɪk/ /wɒt/

Like woo, lily.

/laɪk/

Like woo.

/laɪk/

I can woo.

/kæn/

That's not true.

/truː/

I can, too.

/kæn/

It's just not you.

/dʒʌst/ /juː/

Bilson. Bilson.

Yeah? hey. look, I just...

/lʊk/ /dʒʌst/

I just want to say, I know you guys went with sven,

/dʒʌst/ /wɒnt/ /seɪ/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /wɛnt/ /wɪð/

But ted mosby is tremendously talented,

/bʌt/ /ɪz/ /ˈtæləntɪd/

And I think he would have done a hell of a job.

/ænd/ /θɪŋk/ /hiː/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /dʌn/ /dʒɒb/

I agree. that's why I voted for him.

/əˈɡriː/ /waɪ/ /fɔːr/ /hɪm/

So, then, it's agreed. from now on,

/ðɛn/ /naʊ/ /ɒn/

All atm fees are now called freedom charges.

/ɔːl/ /naʊ/ /ˈfriːdəm/

Conference call. now.

/ˈkɒnfərəns/ /kɔːl/ /naʊ/

You got something you want to tell me?

/juː/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /juː/ /wɒnt/ /tɛl/ /miː/

Oh, damn it.

/ɪt/

I told heather to put everything

/toʊld/ /pʊt/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/

Back on your desk the way it was.

/bæk/ /ɒn/ /jʊr/ /dɛsk/ /weɪ/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/

Bilson told me he wanted to give the job to ted.

/toʊld/ /miː/ /hiː/ /ɡɪv/ /dʒɒb/

So what happened?

/wɒt/ /ˈhæpənd/

Okay, fine.

/faɪn/

...will radiate the strength

/wɪl/

And stability that is goliath national bank.

/ænd/ /ðæt/ /ɪz/ /ˈnæʃənl/ /bæŋk/

Thank you, gentlemen.

/juː/

So?

That was great. I love it.

/ðæt/ /wɒz/ /ɡreɪt/ /lʌv/ /ɪt/

Yes!

Looks like we got our guy.

/laɪk/ /wiː/ /aʊər/ /ɡaɪ/

I don't think we even need to meet with, uh...

/θɪŋk/ /wiː/ /ˈiːvən/ /niːd/ /miːt/ /wɪð/

I am sven jorgensen.

With me are sven pilsen and sven johanssen, and we are...

/wɪð/ /miː/ /ænd/ /ænd/ /wiː/

Sven! Sven!

You are goliath national bank.

/juː/ /ˈnæʃənl/ /bæŋk/

You are cutting edge. you are new. you are fresh.

/juː/ /juː/ /njuː/ /juː/ /frɛʃ/

Women want to be with you, men wish to harm you,

/ˈwɪmɪn/ /wɒnt/ /biː/ /wɪð/ /juː/ /mɛn/ /wɪʃ/ /juː/

But the fool who dares challenge you shall be crushed!

/bʌt/ /huː/ /ˈtʃælɪndʒ/ /juː/ /ʃæl/ /biː/

Your headquarters will tell the world of these facts.

/jʊr/ /wɪl/ /tɛl/ /wɜːrld/ /ðiːz/

Oh, and one more thing... don't look now!

/ænd/ /mɔːr/ /θɪŋ/ /lʊk/ /naʊ/

Which of you is barney stinson, head of the search committee?

/wɪtʃ/ /juː/ /ɪz/ /hɛd/ /sɜːrtʃ/

Oh, my god. that's me!

/maɪ/ /miː/

You, barney stinson, are a man of power and virility.

/juː/ /mæn/ /ˈpaʊər/ /ænd/

Your office shall be here,

/jʊr/ /ˈɒfɪs/ /ʃæl/ /biː/ /hɪr/

In the head of a tyrannosaurus rex.

/hɛd/

I never knew it till now, but I've always dreamed of that.

/ˈnɛv.ər/ /njuː/ /ɪt/ /naʊ/ /bʌt/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /ðæt/

On your large desk of honduran rosewood

/ɒn/ /jʊr/ /lɑːrdʒ/ /dɛsk/

Shall be this button.

/ʃæl/ /biː/

What does the button do?

/wɒt/ /dʌz/ /duː/

Press it! press it for glory!

/prɛs/ /ɪt/ /prɛs/ /ɪt/ /fɔːr/

Yes!

This is the most awesome building in the universe.

/ɪz/ /moʊst/ /ˈɔːsəm/ /ˈbɪldɪŋ/ /ˈjuːnɪvɜːrs/

There is no way this building could be more awesome.

/ðɛr/ /ɪz/ /noʊ/ /weɪ/ /ˈbɪldɪŋ/ /kʊd/ /biː/ /mɔːr/ /ˈɔːsəm/

There is a strip club in the letter "n."

/ðɛr/ /ɪz/ /klʌb/ /ˈlɛt.ər/

What the hell is the matter with you?!

/wɒt/ /ɪz/ /ˈmætər/ /wɪð/ /juː/

This is ted's big break!

/ɪz/ /bɪɡ/ /breɪk/

And then you sold him out because you wanted

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /juː/ /soʊld/ /hɪm/ /aʊt/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /juː/

To work in the brain of a tyrannosaurus rex,

/wɜːrk/ /breɪn/

Which, incidentally,

/wɪtʃ/

If you knew anything about dinosaurs,

/ɪf/ /juː/ /njuː/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/ /əˈbaʊt/

Is really, really small.

/ɪz/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /smɔːl/

Marshall, this isn't about my office.

/əˈbaʊt/ /maɪ/ /ˈɒfɪs/

Ted's building was good.

/ˈbɪldɪŋ/ /wɒz/ /ɡʊd/

Sven's was better.

/wɒz/ /ˈbɛt.ər/

And I am not going to let the fact that I am ted's best friend

/ænd/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/ /lɛt/ /fækt/ /ðæt/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/

Be a factor in business.

/biː/ /ˈbɪznɪs/

You didn't pick sven's building because it was better.

/juː/ /pɪk/ /ˈbɪldɪŋ/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/ /ˈbɛt.ər/

You picked it because you wanted to work

/juː/ /ɪt/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /juː/ /wɜːrk/

In a cool dinosaur office.

/kuːl/ /ˈɒfɪs/

That's a lie!

/laɪ/

I picked it because it-it...

/ɪt/ /bɪˈkɔːz/

It breathes fire, marshall.

/ɪt/ /faɪər/

"fire marshall."

/faɪər/

Oh. I didn't even notice.

/ˈiːvən/ /ˈnoʊtɪs/

How could you do this to ted

/haʊ/ /kʊd/ /juː/ /duː/

After everything he's been through with stella?!

/ˈæf.tər/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /θruː/ /wɪð/

You're just being selfish.

/dʒʌst/ /ˈsɛlfɪʃ/

Marshall, I would never

/wʊd/ /ˈnɛv.ər/

Make a business decision for selfish reasons.

/meɪk/ /ˈbɪznɪs/ /dɪˈsɪʒ.ən/ /fɔːr/ /ˈsɛlfɪʃ/ /ˈriːzənz/

I am a professional. now, come on.

/prəˈfɛʃənl/ /naʊ/ /kʌm/ /ɒn/

Let's get a nice daytime drunk going,

/ɡɛt/ /naɪs/ /drʌŋk/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/

And throw empties at pigeons.

/ænd/ /θroʊ/

No. no. for two reasons.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /fɔːr/ /tuː/ /ˈriːzənz/

One, pigeons are smarter than you think.

/ðæn/ /juː/ /θɪŋk/

They hold grudges.

/ðeɪ/ /hoʊld/

And, two, this is our last conference call, mr. stinson.

/ænd/ /tuː/ /ɪz/ /aʊər/ /læst/ /ˈkɒnfərəns/ /kɔːl/

There are repercussions to screwing over a friend.

/ðɛr/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /frɛnd/

Like what?

/laɪk/ /wɒt/

Like this.

/laɪk/

Oh, my god, you guys. last night,

/maɪ/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /læst/ /naɪt/

We raised $10,000 for my charity

/wiː/ /fɔːr/ /maɪ/

To help combat childhood illiteracy.

/hɛlp/ /ˈtʃaɪldhʊd/

It's a really serious issue.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈsɪəriəs/ /ˈɪʃuː/

Someone just earned herself an ass-first ride

/ˈsʌmwʌn/ /dʒʌst/ /raɪd/

Down the dance floor spank canyon!

/daʊn/ /dæns/ /flɔːr/

Lily, what are you doing here?

/wɒt/ /juː/ /hɪr/

Oh, just doing the fun things you single girls do.

/dʒʌst/ /fʌn/ /θɪŋz/ /juː/ /ˈsɪŋɡəl/ /ɡɜːrlz/ /duː/

What's with the plastic fireman's hat?

/wɪð/ /hæt/

Oh, I didn't have a cowboy hat,

/hæv/ /hæt/

And today was fire safety day at school, so...

/ænd/ /təˈdeɪ/ /wɒz/ /faɪər/ /deɪ/ /skuːl/

Oh, my god, bitch.

/maɪ/

This is our anthem.

/ɪz/ /aʊər/

Really? who sings this?

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /huː/

Is ll cool j still doing things?

/ɪz/ /kuːl/ /θɪŋz/

This is great, svens.

/ɪz/ /ɡreɪt/

You guys are so much cooler than marshall.

/juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /mʌtʃ/ /ðæn/

He doesn't even own a unitard.

/hiː/ /ˈiːvən/ /oʊn/

Who wants a brew?

/huː/

I don't understand.

/ˌʌn.dərˈstænd/

Where is the conference call?

/wɛr/ /ɪz/ /ˈkɒnfərəns/ /kɔːl/

This is the conference call. get it?

/ɪz/ /ˈkɒnfərəns/ /kɔːl/ /ɡɛt/ /ɪt/

In america,

When we work late,

/wɛn/ /wiː/ /wɜːrk/ /leɪt/

We lie about a conference call,

/wiː/ /laɪ/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ˈkɒnfərəns/ /kɔːl/

And we come up here and we drink a few beers.

/ænd/ /wiː/ /kʌm/ /ʌp/ /hɪr/ /ænd/ /wiː/ /drɪŋk/ /fjuː/ /bɪərz/

It's awesome.

/ˈɔːsəm/

This is a waste of time. push-ups!

/ɪz/ /weɪst/ /taɪm/

Misty, you are such a slut.

/juː/ /sʌtʃ/

Let's do another shot.

/duː/ /əˈnʌðər/ /ʃɒt/

You're the slut, you skank.

/juː/

Shots are on you.

/ʃɒts/ /ɒn/ /juː/

No, bitch, shots are on you.

/noʊ/ /ʃɒts/ /ɒn/ /juː/

You're such a whore.

/sʌtʃ/

You're all a bunch of prostitutes.

/ɔːl/

You probably have stds.

/juː/ /ˈprɒbəbli/ /hæv/

Um... let's go dance.

/ɡoʊ/ /dæns/

Lily, Lily,

This isn't working. you shouldn't be here.

/ˈwɜːrkɪŋ/ /juː/ /biː/ /hɪr/

Oh, I get it.

/ɡɛt/ /ɪt/

Because I'm happily married,

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /ˈmærid/

I'm some kind of loser?

/sʌm/ /kaɪnd/

Exactly the opposite.

/ɪɡˈzæktli/ /ˈɒpəzɪt/

Lily, why do you think the woo girls have to woo

/waɪ/ /duː/ /juː/ /θɪŋk/ /ɡɜːrlz/ /hæv/

When they win a game of beer pong,

/wɛn/ /ðeɪ/ /wɪn/ /ɡeɪm/ /bɪər/

Or when a hot guy takes his shirt off?

/wɛn/ /hɒt/ /ɡaɪ/ /hɪz/ /ʃɜːrt/ /ɒf/

It's because that is as good as life gets for them.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /ðæt/ /ɪz/ /ɡʊd/ /laɪf/ /ɡɛts/ /fɔːr/ /ðɛm/

They're really sad people.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /sæd/ /ˈpiː.pəl/

And, when they hang out

/ænd/ /wɛn/ /ðeɪ/ /aʊt/

With someone who's got it all figured out--

/wɪð/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /ɪt/ /ɔːl/ /aʊt/

Someone like you-- it bums them out.

/ˈsʌmwʌn/ /laɪk/ /juː/ /ɪt/ /ðɛm/ /aʊt/

It takes away their woo

/ɪt/ /əˈweɪ/ /ðɛr/

You're just saying that

/dʒʌst/ /ðæt/

So I don't feel like an old married lady.

/fiːl/ /laɪk/ /oʊld/ /ˈmærid/ /ˈleɪdi/

Look at those girls, lily.

/lʊk/ /ðoʊz/ /ɡɜːrlz/

Look at them and listen

/lʊk/ /ðɛm/ /ænd/ /ˈlɪs.ən/

To what their woo's are really saying.

/wɒt/ /ðɛr/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/

i cry in the shower!

/kraɪ/ /ˈʃaʊər/

I've never been on a second date

/ˈnɛv.ər/ /ɒn/ /ˈsɛk.ənd/ /deɪt/

What if i never get to be a Mom?

/wɒt/ /ɪf/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /ɡɛt/ /biː/ /mɒm/

I'm secretly in love with Jillian!

/lʌv/ /wɪð/

My career and love life are heading nowhere

/maɪ/ /kəˈrɪr/ /ænd/ /lʌv/ /laɪf/

Oh, those poor girls... a-and ted.

/ðoʊz/ /pʊr/ /ɡɜːrlz/

I-i just want to go give them all a hug.

/dʒʌst/ /wɒnt/ /ɡoʊ/ /ɡɪv/ /ðɛm/ /ɔːl/ /hʌɡ/

Lily, right now I'm like them.

/raɪt/ /naʊ/ /laɪk/ /ðɛm/

I'm unemployed, I'm single, I'm a little lost.

/ˌʌnɪmˈplɔɪd/ /ˈsɪŋɡəl/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /lɒst/

So every once in a while, I need to woo,

/ˈɛv.ri/ /wʌns/ /waɪl/ /niːd/

But when I need to talk about something real,

/bʌt/ /wɛn/ /niːd/ /tɔːk/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /riːl/

You're the one I turn to.

/tɜːrn/

You're my best friend.

/maɪ/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/

And you're mine.

/ænd/ /maɪn/

And I promise I'll make more time for just us.

/ænd/ /ˈprɒm.ɪs/ /meɪk/ /mɔːr/ /taɪm/ /fɔːr/ /dʒʌst/ /ʌs/

Marshall doesn't have to tag along to everything we do.

/hæv/ /əˈlɒŋ/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /wiː/ /duː/

Hey, have you guys tried these purple hooter test tube shots?

/hæv/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /ðiːz/ /tɛst/ /ʃɒts/

I've had, like, five of 'em.

/hæd/ /laɪk/ /faɪv/

I don't even think there's alcohol in here.

/ˈiːvən/ /θɪŋk/ /hɪr/

Where'd you get that hat?

/juː/ /ɡɛt/ /ðæt/ /hæt/

What hat?

/wɒt/ /hæt/

We fired sven. what?

/wiː/ /faɪərd/ /wɒt/

Yeah, those guys were idiots.

/ðoʊz/ /ɡaɪz/ /wɜːr/

I mean, sure, they had some cool ideas--

/miːn/ /ʃʊr/ /ðeɪ/ /hæd/ /sʌm/ /kuːl/

Some really cool ideas.

/sʌm/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /kuːl/

Actually, I wonder if it's not too late to...

/ˈæktʃuəli/ /ˈwʌndər/ /ɪf/ /leɪt/

No!

/noʊ/

The point is

/pɔɪnt/ /ɪz/

You got the job.

/juː/ /dʒɒb/

Really? yeah.

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/

The search committee realized they made the wrong decision.

/sɜːrtʃ/ /ˈriːəlaɪzd/ /ðeɪ/ /rɒŋ/ /dɪˈsɪʒ.ən/

Plus, you really mean a lot to them

/plʌs/ /juː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /miːn/ /lɒt/ /ðɛm/

And they want you to be happy.

/ænd/ /ðeɪ/ /wɒnt/ /juː/ /biː/ /ˈhæp.i/

That's weird.

Look, ted, your design was the best,

/lʊk/ /jʊr/ /dɪˈzaɪn/ /wɒz/ /bɛst/

And you deserve it.

/ænd/ /juː/ /ɪt/

There's also something that you should know

/ˈɔːl.soʊ/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /ʃʊd/ /noʊ/

About why you didn't get the job in the first place.

/əˈbaʊt/ /waɪ/ /juː/ /ɡɛt/ /dʒɒb/ /fɜːrst/ /pleɪs/

You see, ted... it was bilson.

/juː/ /siː/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/

Bilson just wanted to have an office in a dinosaur head,

/dʒʌst/ /hæv/ /ˈɒfɪs/ /hɛd/

But barney convinced him that it was really, really stupid.

/bʌt/ /hɪm/ /ðæt/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈstjuːpɪd/

Well, you know.

/wɛl/ /juː/ /noʊ/

Thank you, barney.

/juː/

I can't believe this.

/bɪˈliːv/

I-i-i just got our firm

/dʒʌst/ /aʊər/

The biggest account we've ever had.

/ˈɛv.ər/ /hæd/

Now only my love life's a disaster.

/naʊ/ /ˈoʊnli/ /maɪ/ /lʌv/ /dɪˈzæstər/

Next round's on me.

/nɛkst/ /ɒn/ /miː/

Why'd you let me off the hook?

/juː/ /lɛt/ /miː/ /ɒf/

You did the right thing.

/juː/ /dɪd/ /raɪt/ /θɪŋ/

Seemed like you deserved a bye.

/laɪk/ /juː/ /baɪ/

Plus, it would have really

/plʌs/ /ɪt/ /wʊd/ /hæv/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/