Season 5 · Tập 7

Kids, as long as I'd known your Uncle Barney,

/kɪdz/ /lɔːŋ/ /jʊr/ /ˈʌŋkəl/

he'd always had some pretty strong opinions on relationships.

/ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /hæd/ /sʌm/ /ˈprɪti/ /strɒŋ/ /ɒn/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪps/

Your girlfriend? She's your "girlfriend"? She's a girl, and a friend?

/jʊr/ /ˈɡɜːrlfrɛnd/ /jʊr/ /ˈɡɜːrlfrɛnd/ /ɡɜːrl/ /ænd/ /frɛnd/

How is... Do not humanize the enemy, Ted.

/haʊ/ /ɪz/ /duː/

But nice to meet you, Barney Stinson.

/bʌt/ /naɪs/ /miːt/ /juː/

And yet, in the fall of 2009, he was the one with the girlfriend.

/ænd/ /jɛt/ /fɔːl/ /hiː/ /wɒz/ /wɪð/ /ˈɡɜːrlfrɛnd/

Go ahead, open it. Open it, open it, open it, open it!

/ɡoʊ/ /ˈoʊ.pən/ /ɪt/ /ˈoʊ.pən/ /ɪt/ /ˈoʊ.pən/ /ɪt/ /ˈoʊ.pən/ /ɪt/ /ˈoʊ.pən/ /ɪt/

It's my porn collection!

/maɪ/ /kəˈlekʃən/

Just kidding. That would be weird.

/dʒʌst/ /ˈkɪdɪŋ/ /ðæt/ /wʊd/ /biː/

- It's your porn collection. - It's my porn collection!

/jʊr/ /kəˈlekʃən/ /maɪ/ /kəˈlekʃən/

I'm giving you my porn.

/ˈɡɪvɪŋ/ /juː/ /maɪ/

Now that things are so great with Robin, I don't need it anymore.

/naʊ/ /ðæt/ /θɪŋz/ /ɡreɪt/ /wɪð/ /niːd/ /ɪt/ /ˌɛniˈmɔːr/

Wow. You are voluntarily giving up your porn.

/juː/ /ˈɡɪvɪŋ/ /ʌp/ /jʊr/

- You really are serious. - Well, that's obvious.

/juː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈsɪəriəs/ /wɛl/ /ˈɒbviəs/

- What does that mean? - Oh, nothing.

/wɒt/ /dʌz/ /ðæt/ /miːn/ /ˈnʌθ.ɪŋ/

It's just, you know, you got relationship gut.

/dʒʌst/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/

What? No, I do not got "relationship gut." That is ridiculous.

/wɒt/ /noʊ/ /duː/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/ /ðæt/ /ɪz/

It's no big deal. I mean, once you're dating someone,

/noʊ/ /bɪɡ/ /diːl/ /miːn/ /wʌns/ /ˈdeɪtɪŋ/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/

it's natural to let things go a little bit. Trust me.

/ˈnætʃ.ər.əl/ /lɛt/ /θɪŋz/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /trʌst/ /miː/

- We've been there. - Yeah. Boy, did I pudge out for a while.

/ðɛr/ /bɔɪ/ /dɪd/ /aʊt/ /fɔːr/ /waɪl/

Well, we should get going.

/wɛl/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈɡoʊ.ɪŋ/

Goodbye, my sweet, beloved friends, who have always been there for me.

/maɪ/ /swiːt/ /frɛndz/ /huː/ /hæv/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /ðɛr/ /fɔːr/ /miː/

- You'll be missed. - He's talking to the porn.

/biː/ /mɪst/

Oh. Oh.

- Bye, Robin. - See you, Robs.

/baɪ/ /siː/ /juː/

Look at these videos. Space Orgy. Horny Co-Ed Surprise Party 23.

/lʊk/ /ðiːz/ /speɪs/ /sərˈpraɪz/ /ˈpɑːrti/

You'd think after the first 22 parties, the co-eds wouldn't be surprised anymore.

/θɪŋk/ /ˈæf.tər/ /fɜːrst/ /biː/ /sərˈpraɪzd/ /ˌɛniˈmɔːr/

So, we can get rid of these for you.

/wiː/ /kæn/ /ɡɛt/ /ðiːz/ /fɔːr/ /juː/

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not a problem. I'll take care of them.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /ˈprɒbləm/ /teɪk/ /kɛr/ /ðɛm/

Are you sure? I mean, no biggie.

/juː/ /ʃʊr/ /miːn/ /noʊ/

We can just swing by the back alley and drop the box in the dumpster.

/wiː/ /kæn/ /dʒʌst/ /bæk/ /ænd/ /drɒp/ /bɒks/

I see six of the words you just said on this video label.

/siː/ /sɪks/ /wɜːrdz/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /sɛd/ /ɒn/ /ˈvɪdiˌoʊ/

Seriously, it's not a big deal. I will take care of it.

/ˈsɪəriəsli/ /bɪɡ/ /diːl/ /wɪl/ /teɪk/ /kɛr/ /ɪt/

- No. 'Cause I... I mean, we... - Leave them!

/noʊ/ /kɔːz/ /miːn/ /wiː/ /liːv/ /ðɛm/

Okay.

You know, in a way, it's sad, right?

/juː/ /noʊ/ /weɪ/ /sæd/ /raɪt/

I mean, Barney's giving up his porn. He's got relationship gut.

/miːn/ /ˈɡɪvɪŋ/ /ʌp/ /hɪz/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/

They eat at the same diner every night.

/ðeɪ/ /iːt/ /seɪm/ /ˈɛv.ri/ /naɪt/

It's like the end of Barney Stinson as we know him.

/laɪk/ /ɛnd/ /wiː/ /noʊ/ /hɪm/

- Yeah, well, so what? They're happy... - Yeah, well, we gotta go. Later.

/wɛl/ /wɒt/ /ˈhæp.i/ /wɛl/ /wiː/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈleɪtər/

- So, what'd you get? - I got Squat.

/juː/ /ɡɛt/

What are you... I thought I saw you take one?

/wɒt/ /juː/ /θɔːt/ /sɔː/ /juː/ /teɪk/

Yeah, I did. It's called Squat.

/dɪd/

"Archisexture." "Archisexture."

That is not how you spell "Buckminster Fuller."

/ðæt/ /ɪz/ /haʊ/ /juː/

Kids, pornography is bad.

/kɪdz/ /ɪz/ /bæd/

And so, I was getting rid of that vile pornography right away...

/ænd/ /wɒz/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ðæt/ /raɪt/ /əˈweɪ/

I am getting rid of this vile pornography right away.

/ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /raɪt/ /əˈweɪ/

...when something terrible happened.

/wɛn/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /ˈtɛrɪbl/ /ˈhæpənd/

Oh, no.

/noʊ/

Oh, no.

/noʊ/

Oh, no.

/noʊ/

Oh, no.

/noʊ/

- Archisexture... - Hello, Ted.

If you're watching this tape, and I knew you'd pick this one,

/ɪf/ /ˈwɒtʃɪŋ/ /teɪp/ /ænd/ /njuː/ /pɪk/

then you are now in possession of my porn.

/ðɛn/ /juː/ /naʊ/ /maɪ/

This can only mean one of two things, either I'm dead,

/kæn/ /ˈoʊnli/ /miːn/ /tuː/ /θɪŋz/ /ˈiː.ðər/ /dɛd/

or I'm in a committed relationship.

/rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/

If I'm dead, I want you to honor my memory

/ɪf/ /dɛd/ /wɒnt/ /juː/ /maɪ/ /ˈmɛməri/

by taking my body to The Hamptons and recreating Weekend at Bernie's.

/maɪ/ /ˈbɒdi/ /ænd/ /ˈwiːkɛnd/

I wanna dance, I wanna have sex with a girl

/dæns/ /hæv/ /sɛks/ /wɪð/ /ɡɜːrl/

and I wanna go fishing.

/ænd/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈfɪʃɪŋ/

lf, on the other hand, I'm in a committed relationship,

/ɒn/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /hænd/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/

then, as your best friend, I have only one request.

/ðɛn/ /jʊr/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/ /hæv/ /ˈoʊnli/ /rɪˈkwɛst/

Please, for the love of God, get me out of it!

/pliːz/ /fɔːr/ /lʌv/ /ɡɛt/ /miː/ /aʊt/ /ɪt/

I might look happy, but don't believe it.

/maɪt/ /lʊk/ /ˈhæp.i/ /bʌt/ /bɪˈliːv/ /ɪt/

Barney Stinson is meant to be single.

/ɪz/ /biː/ /ˈsɪŋɡəl/

So, please, if you value my best friendship...

/pliːz/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /maɪ/ /bɛst/ /ˈfrɛndʃɪp/

That's right, Marshall, I'm his best friend. How does that feel?

/raɪt/ /hɪz/ /bɛst/ /frɛnd/ /haʊ/ /dʌz/ /ðæt/ /fiːl/

Then get me out of this.

/ðɛn/ /ɡɛt/ /miː/ /aʊt/

And, finally, since you were expecting some porn.

/ænd/ /ˈfaɪnəli/ /sɪns/ /juː/ /wɜːr/ /sʌm/

No, no, no, baby. Don't worry. The flashing green light means it's off.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /ˈbeɪbi/ /ˈwʌri/ /ɡriːn/ /laɪt/ /ɒf/

Are we sure he was finished talking?

/wiː/ /ʃʊr/ /hiː/ /wɒz/ /ˈfɪnɪʃt/

Look, there's no reason we should take this seriously, right?

/lʊk/ /noʊ/ /ˈriːzən/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/ /teɪk/ /ˈsɪəriəsli/ /raɪt/

Of course not. This is an old tape. Barney is happy with Robin.

/kɔːrs/ /ɪz/ /oʊld/ /teɪp/ /ɪz/ /ˈhæp.i/ /wɪð/

But over the next couple of weeks, I started to notice things.

/bʌt/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /nɛkst/ /ˈkʌpəl/ /ˈnoʊtɪs/ /θɪŋz/

Barney and Robin stopped having crazy adventures.

/ænd/ /ˈhævɪŋ/ /ˈkreɪzi/

- So, what'd you guys do last night? - I wanted to go to a concert.

/juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /duː/ /læst/ /naɪt/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈkɒnsərt/

He wanted to go to a party.

/hiː/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈpɑːrti/

Obviously, we couldn't do what just one of us wanted,

/ˈɒbviəsli/ /wiː/ /duː/ /wɒt/ /dʒʌst/ /ʌs/

so we just stayed in, watched a movie on cable.

/wiː/ /dʒʌst/ /wɒtʃt/ /ˈmuːvi/ /ɒn/

It was Legen... Wait for it.

/ɪt/ /wɒz/ /weɪt/ /fɔːr/ /ɪt/

...ds of the Fall. Legends of the Fall!

/fɔːl/ /fɔːl/

It was okay.

/ɪt/ /wɒz/

Barney stopped being himself.

/hɪmˈsɛlf/

Hey, Barney. I'm chatting up this girl over there.

/ʌp/ /ɡɜːrl/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /ðɛr/

I could use a little help landing the plane.

/kʊd/ /juːz/ /ˈlɪt.əl/ /hɛlp/ /pleɪn/

Sorry, Ted, I'm my own wingman tonight.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /maɪ/ /oʊn/ /təˈnaɪt/

And Robin got annoyed at everything he said.

/ænd/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /hiː/ /sɛd/

So, how are you two?

/haʊ/ /juː/ /tuː/

- Great. - Yeah.

/ɡreɪt/

- Relationships are the best. - Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

/rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪps/ /bɛst/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/

- Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. - The sharing, the compromise.

/ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/

- Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. - The monogamy, can't beat it.

/ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /biːt/ /ɪt/

- Catchphrase, yes. - Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

/ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/

But the worse they got...

/bʌt/ /wɜːrs/ /ðeɪ/

I'm full, sweetie.

/fʊl/ /ˈswiːti/

...the more they kept saying things were great.

/mɔːr/ /ðeɪ/ /θɪŋz/ /wɜːr/ /ɡreɪt/

Now the truth is, Barney and Robin only let themselves go a little bit.

/naʊ/ /truːθ/ /ɪz/ /ænd/ /ˈoʊnli/ /lɛt/ /ɡoʊ/ /ˈlɪt.əl/

But I swear, after a few more weeks, to us, they seemed like this.

/bʌt/ /swɛər/ /ˈæf.tər/ /fjuː/ /mɔːr/ /ʌs/ /ðeɪ/ /laɪk/

I'll be there, in a minute.

/biː/ /ðɛr/ /ˈmɪn.ɪt/

Hey.

- They're killing each other! - They love each other.

/ˈkɪlɪŋ/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /ðeɪ/ /lʌv/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/

Barney and Robin love each other, but they're not Barney and Robin anymore.

/ænd/ /lʌv/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /bʌt/ /ænd/ /ˌɛniˈmɔːr/

- They're the fat guy and the old lady. - My favorite '70s detective show.

/fæt/ /ɡaɪ/ /ænd/ /oʊld/ /ˈleɪdi/ /maɪ/ /ˈfeɪvərɪt/ /dɪˈtɛktɪv/ /ʃoʊ/

Look, it's so clear.

/lʊk/ /klɪər/

Barney's been overeating because he hates being tied down like this.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /hiː/ /heɪts/ /daʊn/ /laɪk/

And Robin's stressing out because she hates what Barney's turned into.

/ænd/ /aʊt/ /bɪˈkɔːz/ /ʃiː/ /heɪts/ /wɒt/

No. They're a perfect match.

/noʊ/ /ˈpɜːr.fɪkt/ /mætʃ/

Well, maybe that's the problem. I mean, maybe they're too similar.

/wɛl/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /ˈprɒbləm/ /miːn/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /ˈsɪmɪlər/

It must be tough having two alpha dogs in one relationship.

/ɪt/ /mʌst/ /biː/ /ˈhævɪŋ/ /tuː/ /dɒɡz/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/

We have two alpha dogs in our relationship.

/wiː/ /hæv/ /tuː/ /dɒɡz/ /aʊər/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/

Sure we do, sweetie.

/ʃʊr/ /wiː/ /duː/ /ˈswiːti/

If they're not happy, why don't they just break up?

/ɪf/ /ˈhæp.i/ /waɪ/ /ðeɪ/ /dʒʌst/ /breɪk/ /ʌp/

Because they're too stubborn.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /ˈstʌbərn/

Neither one of them wants to be the first to admit that they want out.

/ðɛm/ /biː/ /fɜːrst/ /ədˈmɪt/ /ðæt/ /ðeɪ/ /wɒnt/ /aʊt/

They're playing relationship chicken.

/ˈpleɪɪŋ/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/ /ˈtʃɪkɪn/

I think Barney ate the relationship chicken.

/θɪŋk/ /eɪt/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/ /ˈtʃɪkɪn/

Ted, it's just a rough patch.

/dʒʌst/ /rʌf/

It takes time getting used to being with someone else.

/ɪt/ /taɪm/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /wɪð/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /ɛls/

And they're both...

/ænd/ /boʊθ/

- What's the nice word for selfish? - Independent.

/naɪs/ /wɜːrd/ /fɔːr/ /ˈsɛlfɪʃ/ /ˌɪndɪˈpɛndənt/

Independent. Every relationship goes through this.

/ˌɪndɪˈpɛndənt/ /ˈɛv.ri/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/ /ɡoʊz/ /θruː/

It's true. I have this astronaut friend, totally loved his fiancée.

/truː/ /hæv/ /frɛnd/ /ˈtoʊtəli/ /lʌvd/ /hɪz/

And then, the day before his mission, she caught him

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /deɪ/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /hɪz/ /ʃiː/ /hɪm/

with, like, four other chicks, a couple of dudes. Things got really tense.

/wɪð/ /laɪk/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /tʃɪks/ /ˈkʌpəl/ /θɪŋz/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/

Finally, she ended up sneaking out of the space shuttle...

/ˈfaɪnəli/ /ʃiː/ /ʌp/ /aʊt/ /speɪs/

- Are you talking about Space Orgy? - Yes, I am.

/juː/ /əˈbaʊt/ /speɪs/

Ted, it's just a rough patch. Just let things run their course.

/dʒʌst/ /rʌf/ /dʒʌst/ /lɛt/ /θɪŋz/ /rʌn/ /ðɛr/ /kɔːrs/

- She's right. - But...

/raɪt/ /bʌt/

Two-to-one, Ted. Leave them alone.

/liːv/ /ðɛm/ /əˈloʊn/

So I did leave them alone. But that weekend...

/dɪd/ /liːv/ /ðɛm/ /əˈloʊn/ /bʌt/ /ðæt/ /ˈwiːkɛnd/

Mmm. Mmm.

Have you noticed how beef ribs used to always be disgusting,

/hæv/ /juː/ /haʊ/ /biːf/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /biː/ /dɪsˈɡʌstɪŋ/

and then recently they found a way to make them really delicious instead?

/ænd/ /ðɛn/ /ˈriːsəntli/ /ðeɪ/ /weɪ/ /meɪk/ /ðɛm/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /dɪˈlɪʃəs/ /ɪnˈstɛd/

Okay, Barney. I'm gonna go ahead and ask you this head on.

/ɡoʊ/ /ænd/ /æsk/ /juː/ /hɛd/ /ɒn/

- Are you happy with Robin? - Are you kidding?

/juː/ /ˈhæp.i/ /wɪð/ /juː/ /ˈkɪdɪŋ/

How could I not be happy with Robin? It's Robin!

/haʊ/ /kʊd/ /biː/ /ˈhæp.i/ /wɪð/

- So are you happy? - I can't believe you'd even ask me that.

/juː/ /ˈhæp.i/ /bɪˈliːv/ /ˈiːvən/ /æsk/ /miː/ /ðæt/

I mean, yes, we fight all the time,

/miːn/ /wiː/ /faɪt/ /ɔːl/ /taɪm/

but, you know what they say about relationships.

/bʌt/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /ðeɪ/ /seɪ/ /əˈbaʊt/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪps/

"Every moment's a battle."

/ˈɛv.ri/

So are you happy?

/juː/ /ˈhæp.i/

And you know what goes hand-in-hand with fighting, the make-up sex,

/ænd/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /ɡoʊz/ /wɪð/ /ˈfaɪtɪŋ/ /sɛks/

which is different when you're in a loving, long-term relationship.

/wɪtʃ/ /ɪz/ /ˈdɪfrənt/ /wɛn/ /ˈlʌvɪŋ/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/

Heads, we have sex.

/hɛdz/ /wiː/ /hæv/ /sɛks/

Tails, we order a whole pizza and just lay here moaning.

/wiː/ /ˈɔːrdər/ /hoʊl/ /ænd/ /dʒʌst/ /hɪr/

Oh, great. Let the coin decide.

/ɡreɪt/ /lɛt/ /dɪˈsaɪd/

- Which was pizza again? - Tails.

/wɪtʃ/ /wɒz/ /əˈɡɛn/

It was tails.

/ɪt/ /wɒz/

Sex. Am I right? Thank God that's mostly over.

/sɛks/ /raɪt/ /ˈoʊ.vər/

I'm still hungry. You hungry?

/ˈhʌŋɡri/ /juː/ /ˈhʌŋɡri/

We have to break them up.

/wiː/ /hæv/ /breɪk/ /ðɛm/ /ʌp/

You're right. Barney and Robin are miserable together,

/raɪt/ /ænd/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/

but they're too stubborn to admit it.

/bʌt/ /ˈstʌbərn/ /ədˈmɪt/ /ɪt/

- So, we have to get them to break up. - How do we do that?

/wiː/ /hæv/ /ɡɛt/ /ðɛm/ /breɪk/ /ʌp/ /haʊ/ /duː/ /wiː/ /duː/ /ðæt/

We unleash the Kraken.

/wiː/

Kids, as you know, earlier that year,

/kɪdz/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /ˈɜːrliər/ /ðæt/ /jɪr/

I'd learned that Lily had broken up not one, not two,

/lɜːrnd/ /ðæt/ /hæd/ /ʌp/ /tuː/

but seven of my past relationships.

/bʌt/ /ˈsɛvən/ /maɪ/ /pæst/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪps/

- Forget it. I'm retired. I'm out of the game. - But nobody's better than you.

/fərˈɡɛt/ /ɪt/ /aʊt/ /ɡeɪm/ /bʌt/ /ˈbɛt.ər/ /ðæn/ /juː/

I'm telling you. I swore off that racket.

/juː/ /ɒf/ /ðæt/

I've gone legit. I'm a matchmaker now.

/ɡɔːn/ /naʊ/

- Set me up with someone. - Whoa! I'm just starting out.

/sɛt/ /miː/ /ʌp/ /wɪð/ /ˈsʌmwʌn/ /dʒʌst/ /aʊt/

Listen, you've gotta break them up. This relationship is killing them.

/ˈlɪs.ən/ /breɪk/ /ðɛm/ /ʌp/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/ /ɪz/ /ˈkɪlɪŋ/ /ðɛm/

I know it is, but I've learned my lesson.

/noʊ/ /ɪt/ /ɪz/ /bʌt/ /lɜːrnd/ /maɪ/ /ˈlɛs.ən/

No more interfering. Let things run their course.

/noʊ/ /mɔːr/ /lɛt/ /θɪŋz/ /rʌn/ /ðɛr/ /kɔːrs/

- It's two-to-one. - Yes, but the one is me.

/bʌt/ /ɪz/ /miː/

All right, we don't need her. We can break them up on our own.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/ /wiː/ /niːd/ /hɜːr/ /wiː/ /kæn/ /breɪk/ /ðɛm/ /ʌp/ /ɒn/ /aʊər/ /oʊn/

How?

/haʊ/

Okay, remember when Robin and I were dating?

/rɪˈmɛm.bər/ /wɛn/ /ænd/ /wɜːr/ /ˈdeɪtɪŋ/

What was the one big thing that really freaked her out?

/wɒt/ /wɒz/ /bɪɡ/ /θɪŋ/ /ðæt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /hɜːr/ /aʊt/

No. No. No. No. No. Ted, you cannot do this to me.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /duː/ /miː/

No! No. No. No.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/

- What are you talking about? - This. This is what I'm talking about.

/wɒt/ /juː/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ɪz/ /wɒt/ /əˈbaʊt/

What is this doing in my champagne?

/wɒt/ /ɪz/ /maɪ/ /ʃæmˈpeɪn/

If we make Robin think for even a second that Barney is proposing,

/ɪf/ /wiː/ /meɪk/ /θɪŋk/ /fɔːr/ /ˈiːvən/ /ˈsɛk.ənd/ /ðæt/ /ɪz/

she'll lose it, and they'll break up.

/luːz/ /ɪt/ /ænd/ /breɪk/ /ʌp/

That's crazy. Why don't we just, like, lead Barney into temptation?

/ˈkreɪzi/ /waɪ/ /wiː/ /dʒʌst/ /laɪk/ /liːd/

We'll find some hot woman to hit on him.

/faɪnd/ /sʌm/ /hɒt/ /ˈwʊm.ən/ /ɒn/ /hɪm/

Okay, the ring thing.

/rɪŋ/ /θɪŋ/

Stakeout van.

/væn/

- What? - We should have gotten a stakeout van.

/wɒt/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/ /hæv/ /væn/

We could have ordered pizza, and looked through big binoculars

/wiː/ /kʊd/ /hæv/ /ˈɔːrdərd/ /ænd/ /θruː/ /bɪɡ/

and said, "This ain't what I signed up for." Stuff like that.

/ænd/ /sɛd/ /wɒt/ /saɪnd/ /ʌp/ /fɔːr/ /stʌf/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/

Shh... Here comes the waiter.

/hɪr/ /ˈweɪtər/

- Please, shut up! - What?

/pliːz/ /ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /wɒt/

I thought you said something. Sorry.

/θɔːt/ /juː/ /sɛd/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /ˈsɒr.i/

Is that an engagement ring?

/ɪz/ /ðæt/ /ɪnˈɡeɪdʒmənt/ /rɪŋ/

- Are you? - Oh, no. No.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/

That's not me. They must've delivered it to the wrong table.

/miː/ /ðeɪ/ /ɪt/ /rɒŋ/ /ˈteɪ.bəl/

Could you imagine, us getting married?

/kʊd/ /juː/ /ɪˈmædʒ.ɪn/ /ʌs/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ˈmærid/

Well, we are committed to each other.

/wɛl/ /wiː/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/

Most of your stuff is already at my apartment.

/moʊst/ /jʊr/ /stʌf/ /ɪz/ /ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /maɪ/ /əˈpɑːrtmənt/

- Might make taxes easier. - Speed up your citizenship.

/maɪt/ /meɪk/ /ʌp/ /jʊr/

- "Scherbatsky" is so hard to spell. - My mom would be so happy.

/ɪz/ /hɑːrd/ /maɪ/ /mɒm/ /wʊd/ /biː/ /ˈhæp.i/

- I guess so. - No reason not to.

/ɡɛs/ /noʊ/ /ˈriːzən/

- We're getting married! - Not so loud. Geez!

/ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /ˈmærid/ /laʊd/

What did you do? I am furious right now. This is so wrong!

/wɒt/ /dɪd/ /juː/ /duː/ /raɪt/ /naʊ/ /ɪz/ /rɒŋ/

- Lily, will you be my maid of honor? - Oh, my God. I would love to.

/wɪl/ /juː/ /biː/ /maɪ/ /maɪ/ /wʊd/ /lʌv/

Are you out of your mind?

/juː/ /aʊt/ /jʊr/ /maɪnd/

You knew they were playing relationship chicken, and what did you do?

/juː/ /njuː/ /ðeɪ/ /wɜːr/ /ˈpleɪɪŋ/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪp/ /ˈtʃɪkɪn/ /ænd/ /wɒt/ /dɪd/ /juː/ /duː/

You put an engagement ring in front of them.

/juː/ /pʊt/ /ɪnˈɡeɪdʒmənt/ /rɪŋ/ /ðɛm/

Okay. That's it. I'm taking over.

/ɪt/ /ˈoʊ.vər/

I'm coming out of retirement for one last breakup.

/aʊt/ /rɪˈtaɪərmənt/ /fɔːr/ /læst/ /ˈbreɪkʌp/

- Yes! - All right.

/ɔːl/ /raɪt/

- How are we gonna do it? - These guys are in so deep

/haʊ/ /wiː/ /duː/ /ɪt/ /ðiːz/ /ɡaɪz/ /diːp/

just one fight ain't gonna do it.

/dʒʌst/ /faɪt/ /duː/ /ɪt/

We need to reignite the four biggest fights they've ever been in, all at once.

/wiː/ /niːd/ /ˈɛv.ər/ /ɔːl/ /wʌns/

Number one, the battle of the dirty dishes.

/ˈnʌmbər/ /ˈdɜːrti/ /ˈdɪʃɪz/

Number two, the ex-girlfriend conflict.

/ˈnʌmbər/ /tuː/

- Hey, don't you know that girl over there? - No. I don't think so.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ðæt/ /ɡɜːrl/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /ðɛr/ /noʊ/ /θɪŋk/

No, in fact, I have definitely... Hey, it's Meg.

/noʊ/ /fækt/ /hæv/ /ˈdɛfɪnɪtli/

Well, I am certainly not comparing you two in my mind right now.

/wɛl/ /juː/ /tuː/ /maɪ/ /maɪnd/ /raɪt/ /naʊ/

Whoops. Hey, will you get that for me?

/wɪl/ /juː/ /ɡɛt/ /ðæt/ /fɔːr/ /miː/

- Really? - Please?

/ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /pliːz/

Why do you keep doing this? You're embarrassing me in public.

/waɪ/ /duː/ /juː/ /kiːp/ /ɪmˈbærəsɪŋ/ /miː/ /ˈpʌblɪk/

You're constantly putting me in these positions.

/miː/ /ðiːz/

Number three, the Star Wars altercation.

/ˈnʌmbər/ /θriː/ /stɑːr/

Isn't it time you got rid of your stupid doll?

/ɪt/ /taɪm/ /juː/ /jʊr/ /ˈstjuːpɪd/

It's not a doll. It's a Stormtrooper.

Uh... He's wearing a diaper.

It's not a diaper, Robin. It's protective armor.

- Stormtrooper, more like Stormpooper. - Stop it!

/mɔːr/ /laɪk/ /stɒp/ /ɪt/

Whoa! Oh!

It sounds like your Stormpooper here needs a changing.

/ɪt/ /laɪk/ /jʊr/ /hɪr/

Okay, you know what, I'm sick of it.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /sɪk/ /ɪt/

- I'm sick of your jokes. - I didn't say anything.

/sɪk/ /jʊr/ /dʒoʊks/ /seɪ/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/

- Your jokes about the magic... - I can't joke?

/jʊr/ /dʒoʊks/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ˈmædʒɪk/ /dʒoʊk/

And of course, the biggie, the Canadian-American war.

/ænd/ /kɔːrs/ /wɔːr/

Thank God that song's over. Who the hell was that old lady singing?

/ðæt/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /huː/ /wɒz/ /ðæt/ /oʊld/ /ˈleɪdi/

Okay, you know that Neil Young is my favorite musician.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ðæt/ /jʌŋ/ /ɪz/ /maɪ/ /ˈfeɪvərɪt/ /mjuˈzɪʃən/

Right. Now was that the same old lady

/raɪt/ /naʊ/ /wɒz/ /ðæt/ /seɪm/ /oʊld/ /ˈleɪdi/

who played Archie Bunker's wife in All in the Family,

/huː/ /waɪf/ /ɔːl/ /ˈfæm.ɪ.li/

or just a sound-alike?

/dʒʌst/

Neil Young is a Canadian treasure. Do not make fun of Neil Young.

/jʌŋ/ /ɪz/ /duː/ /meɪk/ /fʌn/ /jʌŋ/

Robin, I would never make fun of a defenseless, old lady

/wʊd/ /ˈnɛv.ər/ /meɪk/ /fʌn/ /oʊld/ /ˈleɪdi/

- with vocal cord paralysis. Ever. - Here we go.

/wɪð/ /ˈɛv.ər/ /hɪr/ /wiː/ /ɡoʊ/

- In public? Really? - Yeah, in public. I'll go there.

/ˈpʌblɪk/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈpʌblɪk/ /ɡoʊ/ /ðɛr/

- We're gonna have a fight in public? - It's nothing to be mad about.

/hæv/ /faɪt/ /ˈpʌblɪk/ /ˈnʌθ.ɪŋ/ /biː/ /mæd/ /əˈbaʊt/

I got it.

/ɪt/

I got it. We e-mail them pictures reminding them of each of these fights.

/ɪt/ /wiː/ /ðɛm/ /ˈpɪktʃərz/ /ðɛm/ /iːtʃ/ /ðiːz/

You child. Here's how it goes down.

/juː/ /tʃaɪld/ /haʊ/ /ɪt/ /ɡoʊz/ /daʊn/

They're at the diner.

First, rekindling the Canadian-American debate,

/fɜːrst/

Ontario native Alan Thicke stops by the table.

/ˈteɪ.bəl/

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Alan Thicke? - Oh! Right,

/raɪt/

Robin knew him back when she was a singer.

/njuː/ /hɪm/ /bæk/ /wɛn/ /ʃiː/ /wɒz/ /ˈsɪŋər/

Yeah, and they still keep in touch. I already got his number off her phone.

/ænd/ /ðeɪ/ /kiːp/ /tʌtʃ/ /ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /hɪz/ /ˈnʌmbər/ /ɒf/ /hɜːr/ /foʊn/

Seriously, amateurs.

/ˈsɪəriəsli/

So Alan Thicke restarts the Canada-US fight.

/faɪt/

Right at that moment, Crazy Meg shows up.

/raɪt/ /ðæt/ /ˈmoʊmənt/ /ˈkreɪzi/ /ʃoʊz/ /ʌp/

Then, a Stormtrooper happens to walk by the window.

/ðɛn/ /ˈhæpənz/ /wɔːk/ /ˈwɪndoʊ/

And just when they can't take anything more,

/ænd/ /dʒʌst/ /wɛn/ /ðeɪ/ /teɪk/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/ /mɔːr/

a busboy walks by with a tray full of what? Dirty dishes.

/wɪð/ /fʊl/ /wɒt/ /ˈdɜːrti/ /ˈdɪʃɪz/

Lily, this is your masterpiece.

/ɪz/ /jʊr/ /ˈmɑːstəpiːs/

We're getting a stakeout van!

/ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /væn/

A station wagon? Really? You rented a station wagon?

/ˈsteɪʃən/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /juː/ /ˈsteɪʃən/

- Yeah, a van cost, like, 25 bucks more. - A station wagon.

/væn/ /kɒst/ /laɪk/ /mɔːr/ /ˈsteɪʃən/

- Greetings, Will Robinson! Where's the birthday boy or girl?

/wɪl/ /ˈbɜːrθdeɪ/ /bɔɪ/ /ɡɜːrl/

- Hey, climb on in. - What the hell is this?

/klaɪm/ /ɒn/ /wɒt/ /ɪz/

They didn't have any Stormtroopers, so I had to get a different robot.

/ðeɪ/ /hæv/ /ˈɛn.i/ /hæd/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈdɪfrənt/ /ˈroʊbɒt/

This will still work.

/wɪl/ /wɜːrk/

Different robot? Stormtroopers aren't robots.

/ˈdɪfrənt/ /ˈroʊbɒt/ /ˈroʊbɒts/

Of course they're robots. "Must kill Luke Skywalker."

/kɔːrs/ /ˈroʊbɒts/ /mʌst/ /kɪl/

- Nobody says that in Star Wars. - Really lousy robot voice, honey.

/ˈnoʊ.bɒd.i/ /ðæt/ /stɑːr/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /ˈroʊbɒt/ /vɔɪs/ /ˈhʌni/

Someone ordered an extra-large sausage.

/ˈsʌmwʌn/ /ˈɔːrdərd/

Hey, one of Barney's videos starts off just like that.

/ɒf/ /dʒʌst/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/

Hey, guys, Barney's ordering five of something.

/ɡaɪz/ /faɪv/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/

- I don't know if it's gonna fit in here. - Okay. Now you're just quoting the video.

/noʊ/ /ɪf/ /fɪt/ /hɪr/ /naʊ/ /dʒʌst/ /ˈvɪdiˌoʊ/

Still ordering. Waiter's taking out a second pad.

/aʊt/ /ˈsɛk.ənd/ /pæd/

Yeah, okay, well, we need it in here. We're on a stakeout.

/wɛl/ /wiː/ /niːd/ /ɪt/ /hɪr/ /ɒn/

Shouldn't you be in a van?

/juː/ /biː/ /væn/

- A van costs more. - Thank you.

/væn/ /mɔːr/ /juː/

Score me a slice, Will Robinson.

/skɔːr/ /miː/ /wɪl/

No, no, no. You get a stain on that costume, they're gonna charge us.

/noʊ/ /noʊ/ /noʊ/ /juː/ /ɡɛt/ /ɒn/ /ðæt/ /ˈkɒstjuːm/ /ʌs/

- Dude, will you just chill about money. - Yeah, let the Stormtrooper have a slice.

/wɪl/ /juː/ /dʒʌst/ /əˈbaʊt/ /ˈmʌn.i/ /lɛt/ /hæv/

- Yeah. It's not a Stormtrooper. - It's not a Stormtrooper.

Hi, Lily. Sorry I'm late. I was looking for a van.

/ˈsɒr.i/ /leɪt/ /wɒz/ /fɔːr/ /væn/

- Thank you. - $25.

/juː/

- So, should I go say hi to Robin? - Not yet. Get in the car.

/ʃʊd/ /ɡoʊ/ /seɪ/ /jɛt/ /ɡɛt/ /kɑːr/

Okay, so wait, wait, wait. When they blew up the Death Star,

/weɪt/ /weɪt/ /weɪt/ /wɛn/ /ðeɪ/ /ʌp/ /dɛθ/ /stɑːr/

knowing full well there were thousands of Stormtroopers on it, those were people?

/fʊl/ /wɛl/ /ðɛr/ /wɜːr/ /ɒn/ /ɪt/ /ðoʊz/ /wɜːr/ /ˈpiː.pəl/

Well, it was called the Death Star, baby. They knew what they were getting into.

/wɛl/ /ɪt/ /wɒz/ /dɛθ/ /stɑːr/ /ˈbeɪbi/ /ðeɪ/ /njuː/ /wɒt/ /ðeɪ/ /wɜːr/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/

Look, I don't wanna play the "I'm Alan Thicke" card,

/lʊk/ /pleɪ/

but I really do have a dinner to get to, so...

/bʌt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /duː/ /hæv/ /ˈdɪn.ər/ /ɡɛt/

- Someone has gotta take this sausage. - Okay, were you in that video?

/ˈsʌmwʌn/ /hæz/ /teɪk/ /wɜːr/ /juː/ /ðæt/ /ˈvɪdiˌoʊ/

Were you the guy with the farmer tan?

/wɜːr/ /juː/ /ɡaɪ/ /wɪð/

- Jonesing for some za, Will Robinson. - Jonesing for some za, Will Robinson.

/fɔːr/ /sʌm/ /wɪl/ /fɔːr/ /sʌm/ /wɪl/

- Come on, I'm Alan Thicke! - This ain't what I signed up for.

/kʌm/ /ɒn/ /wɒt/ /saɪnd/ /ʌp/ /fɔːr/

- Hey, that's my... - Okay, you know what, everyone stop!

/maɪ/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /wɒt/ /ˈɛv.ri.wʌn/ /stɒp/

Alan Thicke, shut up! Marshall, it's a station wagon, get over it!

/ʃʌt/ /ʌp/ /ˈsteɪʃən/ /ɡɛt/ /ˈoʊ.vər/ /ɪt/

Ted, stop talking about porn!

/stɒp/ /əˈbaʊt/

And for the love of God, somebody get the Stormtrooper some pizza!

/ænd/ /fɔːr/ /lʌv/ /ˈsʌm.bɒd.i/ /ɡɛt/ /sʌm/

- It's not a Stormtrooper. - It's not a Stormtrooper.

Crap!

They see us.

/ðeɪ/ /siː/ /ʌs/

- Danger! Danger!

- Are you sure they saw us? - Yes.

/juː/ /ʃʊr/ /ðeɪ/ /sɔː/ /ʌs/

Hey! Hey!

Can I go talk to Barney now? I'm so excited.

/kæn/ /ɡoʊ/ /tɔːk/ /naʊ/ /ɪkˈsaɪ.tɪd/

Do you really think he's gonna propose to me?

/duː/ /juː/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /θɪŋk/ /miː/

- Oh, honey. - Forget it, Crazy Meg. We've been made.

/ˈhʌni/ /fərˈɡɛt/ /ɪt/ /ˈkreɪzi/

If we try anything now, they're gonna know it's us.

/ɪf/ /wiː/ /traɪ/ /ˈɛn.i.θɪŋ/ /naʊ/ /noʊ/ /ʌs/

- I think we should all just go home. - No! This is my masterpiece.

/θɪŋk/ /wiː/ /ʃʊd/ /ɔːl/ /dʒʌst/ /ɡoʊ/ /hoʊm/ /noʊ/ /ɪz/ /maɪ/ /ˈmɑːstəpiːs/

- So what if they saw us? It'll still work. - Stop it! We'll think of something else.

/wɒt/ /ɪf/ /ðeɪ/ /sɔː/ /ʌs/ /wɜːrk/ /stɒp/ /ɪt/ /θɪŋk/ /ˈsʌm.θɪŋ/ /ɛls/

Let me repeat, I am Alan Thicke.

/lɛt/ /miː/ /rɪˈpiːt/

- You're Alan Thicke? - No.

/noʊ/

Alan Thicke, you're up. Get on out there.

/ʌp/ /ɡɛt/ /ɒn/ /aʊt/ /ðɛr/

And so, Lily followed through with her plan.

/ænd/ /θruː/ /wɪð/ /hɜːr/ /plæn/

First, Alan Thicke,

/fɜːrst/

followed by Crazy Meg,

/ˈkreɪzi/

then the robot

/ðɛn/ /ˈroʊbɒt/

and, finally, the dirty dishes.

/ænd/ /ˈfaɪnəli/ /ˈdɜːrti/ /ˈdɪʃɪz/

But by the end of it...

/bʌt/ /ɛnd/ /ɪt/

They're kissing. They shouldn't be kissing. Why isn't this working?

/ðeɪ/ /biː/ /waɪ/ /ˈwɜːrkɪŋ/

Because they're in love.

/bɪˈkɔːz/ /lʌv/

It really was just a rough patch.

/ɪt/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /wɒz/ /dʒʌst/ /rʌf/

What the hell am I doing?

/wɒt/

This whole thing was a mistake.

/hoʊl/ /θɪŋ/ /wɒz/ /mɪˈsteɪk/

So, any of you dudes wanna get high?

/ˈɛn.i/ /juː/ /ɡɛt/ /haɪ/

I never thought I'd be saying this tonight,

/ˈnɛv.ər/ /θɔːt/ /biː/ /təˈnaɪt/

but to Barney and Robin, the happy couple.

/bʌt/ /ænd/ /ˈhæp.i/ /ˈkʌpəl/

That was the moment we learned that relationships take hard work,

/ðæt/ /wɒz/ /ˈmoʊmənt/ /wiː/ /lɜːrnd/ /ðæt/ /rɪˈleɪʃənʃɪps/ /teɪk/ /hɑːrd/ /wɜːrk/

but eventually, everything will work out.

/bʌt/ /ˈɛv.ri.θɪŋ/ /wɪl/ /wɜːrk/ /aʊt/

- Hey. - Hey.

- Where's Barney? - Uh... We broke up.

/wiː/ /ʌp/

And that was the moment we unlearned

/ænd/ /ðæt/ /wɒz/ /ˈmoʊmənt/ /wiː/

that other lesson we had just learned a few seconds earlier.

/ðæt/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /ˈlɛs.ən/ /wiː/ /hæd/ /dʒʌst/ /lɜːrnd/ /fjuː/ /ˈɜːrliər/

You see, earlier that night,

/juː/ /siː/ /ˈɜːrliər/ /ðæt/ /naɪt/

when Lily thought Barney and Robin had spotted her,

/wɛn/ /θɔːt/ /ænd/ /hæd/ /hɜːr/

this is what they really saw.

/ɪz/ /wɒt/ /ðeɪ/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /sɔː/

Why do that fat guy and old lady keep...

/waɪ/ /duː/ /ðæt/ /fæt/ /ɡaɪ/ /ænd/ /oʊld/ /ˈleɪdi/ /kiːp/

Oh, my God. That's us.

/maɪ/ /ʌs/

Look at us. Did we always look this awful?

/lʊk/ /ʌs/ /dɪd/ /wiː/ /ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /lʊk/

Robin, I'm not happy.

/ˈhæp.i/

I mean, I wish I was. Nothing would make me happier than being happy,

/miːn/ /wɪʃ/ /wɒz/ /ˈnʌθ.ɪŋ/ /wʊd/ /meɪk/ /miː/ /ðæn/ /ˈhæp.i/

but I'm not.

/bʌt/

But what are we doing wrong? We love each other.

/bʌt/ /wɒt/ /wiː/ /rɒŋ/ /wiː/ /lʌv/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/

I mean, if this doesn't work, what will?

/miːn/ /ɪf/ /wɜːrk/ /wɒt/ /wɪl/

We're so similar.

/ˈsɪmɪlər/

We both like scotch. We're both awesome.

/wiː/ /boʊθ/ /laɪk/ /boʊθ/ /ˈɔːsəm/

You know, maybe that's it. Maybe there's just too much awesome here.

/juː/ /noʊ/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /ɪt/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /dʒʌst/ /mʌtʃ/ /ˈɔːsəm/ /hɪr/

Exactly. Two awesomes cancel each other out.

/ɪɡˈzæktli/ /tuː/ /iːtʃ/ /ˈʌð.ər/ /aʊt/

- I'm tired of being canceled out. - Me, too.

/ˈtaɪ.ərd/ /aʊt/ /miː/

- Are we breaking up? - I think so.

/wiː/ /ʌp/ /θɪŋk/

Aw, crap. Now comes the next part,

/naʊ/ /nɛkst/ /pɑːrt/

the part where you and I can't go back to being friends.

/pɑːrt/ /wɛr/ /juː/ /ænd/ /ɡoʊ/ /bæk/ /frɛndz/

Well, maybe this isn't a breakup.

/wɛl/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /ˈbreɪkʌp/

Maybe this is two friends getting back together.

/ˈmeɪbi/ /ɪz/ /tuː/ /frɛndz/ /ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /bæk/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/

- Robin? - Hi.

- It's always so great to see a fellow hoser. - Oh. Yes.

/ˈɔːl.weɪz/ /ɡreɪt/ /siː/

Hi. Good news. I forgive you for the whole restraining order thing.

/ɡʊd/ /njuːz/ /fərˈɡɪv/ /juː/ /fɔːr/ /hoʊl/ /ˈɔːrdər/ /θɪŋ/

Uh, hi.

- Was that a Stormtrooper? - That's not a...

/wɒz/ /ðæt/

- You wanna get outta here? - Yeah.

/juː/ /ɡɛt/ /hɪr/

- Excuse me. - See you, guys.

/ɪkˈskjuːz/ /miː/ /siː/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/

- Excuse me. - Okay.

/ɪkˈskjuːz/ /miː/

- See you, Alan. - See you, Alan.

/siː/ /juː/ /siː/ /juː/

- So, you still on 73rd Street? - How do you know that?

/juː/ /ɒn/ /striːt/ /haʊ/ /duː/ /juː/ /noʊ/ /ðæt/

Getting back together as friends. I like that.

/ˈɡɛtɪŋ/ /bæk/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/ /frɛndz/ /laɪk/ /ðæt/

One more for the road?

/mɔːr/ /fɔːr/ /roʊd/

And, I mean, who knows,

/ænd/ /miːn/ /huː/

maybe when, like, you turn 40, if you haven't found anyone...

/ˈmeɪbi/ /wɛn/ /laɪk/ /juː/ /tɜːrn/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /ˈɛniwʌn/

- I already have that deal with Ted. - Oh! Right. Stupid.

/ɔːlˈrɛd.i/ /hæv/ /ðæt/ /diːl/ /wɪð/ /raɪt/ /ˈstjuːpɪd/

Well, maybe when you turn 39, if you haven't found anyone...

/wɛl/ /ˈmeɪbi/ /wɛn/ /juː/ /tɜːrn/ /ɪf/ /juː/ /ˈɛniwʌn/

It turns out that they really did just need to let things run their course.

/ɪt/ /aʊt/ /ðæt/ /ðeɪ/ /ˈrɪ.ə.li/ /dɪd/ /dʒʌst/ /niːd/ /lɛt/ /θɪŋz/ /rʌn/ /ðɛr/ /kɔːrs/

- So, how's Barney doing? - He's okay, I think.

/θɪŋk/

It might be a while before he fully recovers, but...

/ɪt/ /maɪt/ /biː/ /waɪl/ /bɪˈfɔːr/ /hiː/ /bʌt/

Mmm. Mmm.

- Did you guys just feel a chill? - Yeah.

/dɪd/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /dʒʌst/ /fiːl/

Daddy's home.

/hoʊm/

- Well, Robin, I'm glad we could catch up. - Yeah. Let's do it again soon.

/wɛl/ /ɡlæd/ /wiː/ /kʊd/ /ʌp/ /duː/ /ɪt/ /əˈɡɛn/ /suːn/

I love that you guys are still friends so long after you did that music video.

/lʌv/ /ðæt/ /juː/ /ɡaɪz/ /frɛndz/ /lɔːŋ/ /ˈæf.tər/ /juː/ /dɪd/ /ðæt/ /ˈmjuːzɪk/ /ˈvɪdiˌoʊ/

- Yeah. - The music...

/ˈmjuːzɪk/

The Sandcastles video. Yes, yes. We did that together, too.

/ˈvɪdiˌoʊ/ /wiː/ /dɪd/ /ðæt/ /təˈɡɛð.ər/

What do you mean "too"?

/wɒt/ /duː/ /juː/ /miːn/

Well, we had this failed Canadian TV variety show.

/wɛl/ /wiː/ /hæd/ /feɪld/ /ʃoʊ/

That was so embarrassing.

/ðæt/ /wɒz/ /ɪmˈbærəsɪŋ/

Imagine what would happen if anybody ever got their hands on that?

/ɪˈmædʒ.ɪn/ /wɒt/ /wʊd/ /ˈhæpən/ /ɪf/ /ˈɛn.i.bɒd.i/ /ˈɛv.ər/ /ðɛr/ /hændz/ /ɒn/ /ðæt/

Ooh! You.

/juː/